Whenever I’m With You by: reynzt15 part 3

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Teaser Chapter – Emotions

Note: This one is a teaser chapter. The next chapter would be the real one. Since I’d have to put in a lot of conversational instances in the next chapter, I decided to do a teaser. You can guess what the next chapter would be about too, you’ll see..🙊🙊🙊  Next chapter will be up on Sunday since month ends are always killer days for me. Thank you for your patience chinggu-deul!! Saranghaeyo!!💛💛💛


June 1996 Honolulu Hawaii

We’re graduating! And then we’re going back to Korea! I’m excited, but I noticed something different with Jiwon-hyung lately. I don’t know if it was my fault, but it all started after we drank together. He’s been more… I don’t know… distant. Gosh, Kang Sunghoon! Why did you have to be so drunk?! I wonder if I did something wrong. But surely, Jiwon-hyung wouldn’t mind, he knew I was drunk after all. I must ask him one of these days. I don’t like this distance between us.

“Hoon-ah! What are you doing!? We’re going to be late!” shouted Jiwon from the front door.

Sunghoon snapped out of his musings and grabbed his things. “Coming hyung!”

He quickly made his way outside locking the door behind him. Jiwon was waiting in the car, already in his toga, tapping the steering wheel impatiently. Sunghoon made his way into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt.

“Kaja.” Sunghoon said.

“Ya, what took you so long?” Jiwon said as he backed out of the driveway into the main road towards their school. “You’re usually the one nagging about being late.”

“I’m sorry, I was thinking about something..”

“Mwonde? (What about?)” Jiwon asked, his eyes on the road.

“Things… I’ll tell you later..”

Jiwon slipped a glance Sunghoon’s way, noticing him more serious than usual. He didn’t seem sad though.

“Cheonsa-ya..” Jiwon said gently.

“Nae hyung?”

“We need to talk later..” Jiwon was already bracing himself for the follow-up question. Instead Sunghoon’s answer surprised him.

“Nae hyung, we do need to talk.” Sunghoon answered then quickly diverted his gaze outside the window.

Jiwon was used to Sunghoon overflowing with curiosity that he always had follow-up questions whenever they talked.

‘He’s matured somehow.’ Jiwon thought, as they arrived at the school’s parking lot.


The graduation ceremony passed by in a breeze. Everyone was in high spirits. Amazingly, Jiwon and Sunghoon both managed to grab academic awards to which everyone cheered loudly especially Jiwon. Their parents couldn’t make it, due to the high cost of plane tickets. Instead, both opted to use the budget for their flight back then celebrate with their parents back in Korea.

I shouldn’t have said that we needed to talk. Now I don’t know how to start.

Jiwon was apprehensive about the ceremony nearing its end. He was dreading talking to Sunghoon, in a weird way. They’ve always been honest with each other, they can even sometimes read each other’s minds. But after the “incident”, Jiwon purposely distanced himself from Sunghoon for fear of falling for him deeper. Also, his impulsive nature might make him mention it out of the blue and he dreaded how Sunghoon would react. He’d definitely feel embarassed, but what he feared the most is that Sunghoon might mean it in a different way, not really reciprocating his feelings.

On the other hand, Sunghoon wanted to know the truth. He had a vague memory of that night, that only of Jiwon kissing his forehead, but he always dismissed it as a dream. Surely Jiwon wouldn’t do that no matter how close they are. He also wanted to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. He cursed himself for being so brazen, drinking even when he was inexperienced. But what he was curious about the most is why Jiwon would suddenly act that way with him. He wanted him to tell it straight, after all they promised no secrets.

They did, however, buy another set of drinks, to which Sunghoon was thoroughly against.

“We won’t get drunk Hoon-ah.” Jiwon assured him. “Besides I just need a little boost tonight.”


“I won’t let you drink if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Sunghoon grew quiet. So he did do something stupid while drunk. He felt nervous, but was relieved when Jiwon reached out to him and held his hand.

“There’s nothing to fret about Hoon-ah.”

Feeling reassured, Sunghoon smiled at him, giving Jiwon’s hand a gentle squeeze. Then he released his hand knowing he needed both for driving.

The drive back to their house was pretty quiet, as both were immersed in their thoughts.



How do I start? I honestly don’t know where to start. And why the hell am I nervous?! Ya Eun Jiwon! Jeongsin chalyeo bwa (Get a hold of yourself)!

Jiwon sat in the living room already on his first bottle. He was waiting for Sunghoon to finish bathing, knowing fully that he’s taking his time. He didn’t mind though. He needed these few moments to collect himself. He felt like someone who’ll confess his feelings, which he probably will later. He heaved a deep sigh. This is the first time this happened to him. To think that he’d fall in love with someone he treats like his own brother. He shook his head.

Sunghoon watched Jiwon from behind, gauging his mood. Jiwon only drank when he’s stressed but he didn’t seem too stressed. Sunghoon made his way towards him and sat beside him gently.

“You know hyung, we’re supposed to be celebrating.” Sunghoon said, still looking at Jiwon warily.

Jiwon didn’t answer. Instead, he took another swig of the bottle.

“Do you need a glass hyung?” Sunghoon asked, attempting to make conversation. He honestly didn’t like it when Jiwon grew quiet. He prefers his usual boisterous, talkative hyung. He’s been like this for the past 6 months, only talking when he felt like it. Sunghoon let out an exasperated sigh, which made Jiwon glance his way.

“I honestly feel like I’m talking to a wall.”

“I’m still building up my courage.”

Sunghoon looked at him questioningly. “Courage for what?”

“To talk to you.”

His short replies are really testing Sunghoon’s patience.

“Hyung, this is me you’re talking to. Since when did you need the courage to talk to me? What the hell?”

Jiwon sighed and put down his bottle, then he faced Sunghoon. “Exactly. Because it’s you I’m talking to, this is difficult.”

“Try to make some sense.” Sunghoon answered.

“Hoon-ah, tell me something first..” Jiwon said while Sunghoon arched an eyebrow. Jiwon’s unusual actions are stressing him out.

“What?” Sunghoon asked, his voice a bit tenser than before.

“Do you really not remember anything from 6 months ago?”

‘Isseo, but it must be a dream.’ Sunghoon thought. “Obseoyeo.” he answered half-truthfully.

“Then, can I ask you something?”

Sunghoon’s patience is getting thin from all of Jiwon’s suspenseful questions, and he was getting pissed, if it were not for the fact that Jiwon’s hand was shaking as he grabbed the beer bottle. His curiosity won over his anger. Jiwon never got nervous in front of him. To think that he’s apprehensive even with alcohol in his system, he must be really edgy.

“Ask away hyung.”

Jiwon looked at Sunghoon, his expression unreadable. He decided then to just ask him straight. It’s now or never.

His question totally caught Sunghoon off guard.

“How do you really feel about me?”

Sunghoon blinked in confusion. “Dae?”

“How do you feel about me? Tell me honestly. Am I just a friend or a brother or is there something else?” Jiwon asked in rapid succession, his words tumbling over each other.

Sunghoon sat stunned as Jiwon looked at him expectantly.

“H..hyung.. I… what…” he stuttered.

I can’t. I can’t tell him. My tongue won’t move at all. 

Sunghoon couldn’t say another word. Jiwon smiled in understanding, after Sunghoon had been quiet for several minutes. He looked away from him, and downed the whole bottle in one go.

“Hyung!” Sunghoon snapped, grabbing the bottle from him.

“I shouldn’t have asked. Forget about it Hoon-ah. Mianhe, I guess I just have a lot on my mind.” Jiwon said sadly,  standing up from the couch to go to his room. His footsteps felt heavy as he trudged towards it, closing his door gently.

Kang Sunghoon you idiot! Why can’t you tell him?! It was a simple question you fool!

Sunghoon cursed inwardly, finishing the bottle of beer Jiwon left behind. He hated unresolved conversations between them. They never went to bed without clearing any misunderstandings. They agreed on that, that’s why they’ve got along well all these years and Sunghoon wasn’t about to start now. Wanting to resolve everything, he gathered his courage and slowly made his way towards Jiwon’s room, knocking quietly.

He opened the door, even if Jiwon did not acknowledge him. He was accustomed to it, Jiwon said it was always enough to let his presence be known by just knocking.

He saw Jiwon lying on the bed, hands behind his head staring up at the ceiling. Sunghoon had to admit, he looked utterly handsome just lying there. This is why he likes him. Despite his rough appearance, moments like these tend to soften Jiwon’s features. And right now, his serene look captures the gentle soul behind the rough facade.

‘Can you ever get more handsome than this hyung?‘ he thought.

He quietly made his way towards the bed, sitting gently on Jiwon’s side. He held out his hand, knowing Jiwon would get what he want. He did, taking out one arm away from his head and held his outstretched hand. They were always like that. It was their form of silent communication. They held hands when any one of them needed assurance or comfort.

Sunghoon held Jiwon’s hand and squeezed lightly. “Why ask me that hyung?”

“I’m curious.” he said simply, looking at him in the eye.

“Does this have anything to do with what happened when I was drunk?”

“Partially.. I wanted to confirm something.”

Sunghoon looked up the ceiling, sighing. His chest felt constricted from all the emotions going through him. “I… I…” he expelled a deep breath. “Neol chuae hyung. (I like you hyung).

“I already know that. What I wanna know is what stage of like are we talking about.” Jiwon didn’t mince his words. He’s always been the straight-forward type and he likes getting answers that way. He looked at Sunghoon, eyes full of wanting.

Please Hoon-ah. Just tell me the truth. The suspense is killing me right now. I may be holding your hand, but I really wanna hug you close. This is driving me crazy jinjja.

“Honestly I’m confused hyung. I’ve never felt like this before.” Sunghoon sighed, looking at Jiwon in the eye. He smiled. “I don’t know why I feel drawn to you. You are foremost my brother, and I do love you like one, there’s no question about that. There’s also no need to question how you’re my best friend. But there’s this strange feeling, it’s different. I can’t explain it.” Sunghoon now held Jiwon’s hand in both of his own.

Jiwon sat up from his bed, locking gazes with Sunghoon. “Just try. I won’t judge you for it.”

Taking a deep breath, Sunghoon went for it. “I really like you hyung, maybe more than a brother or a friend.” He took a deep breath again before plunging on. “I honestly think I’m in love with you hyung. I think I have been for some time. It’s crazy I know. And it’s weird. I don’t think I’m gay, not really. It’s just that… being with you makes me feel things I don’t get to feel with any other girl. I like being with you. I get butterflies when you call me your angel. I like it when I’m the one who makes you smile, or calm you down when you’re angry. I like it when you complement me everytime I cook for you. I like it when you put our arm around my shoulders whenever we’re outside. I like everything about you hyung! Michigeta jinjja (I’m seriously going crazy)! What’s strange is that I don’t get to feel this with anyone else, even a girl. I…”

Sunghoon stopped when Jiwon held a finger to his lips shushing him.

“There’s no need to say more, I understand.”

“Hyung..  you’re.. you’re not angry are you?” Sunghoon said tensely.

Jiwon smiled at him. “Aniyeo. I never get angry at you.”

“You must think I’m crazy feeling this way about you.” Sunghoon said wistfully, his eyes on the verge of tears.

“On the contrary Hoon-ah, I don’t think you’re crazy. And even if you were, I’d still gladly take everything you said.”


Jiwon pulled Sunghoon closer and hugged him tight. He’s been wanting to do this the whole time.

“I wanted to hear it from you sober, like now, not drunk as you were like six months ago.”

“You mean I confessed to you already!?” Sunghoon broke away from Jiwon’s embrace and held him by the shoulders. “Is that why you’ve been distant? Were you avoiding me?”

Jiwon took Sunghoon’s hands away from his shoulders and held them tightly. “I wasn’t avoiding you Hoon-ah. If I did, I wouldn’t even be in the same room with you. I was just wary. Your confession took me off guard, but the next day you couldn’t remember anything, which I expected of course. I kept my distance, knowing that if I stayed too close, you’ll notice my feelings for you and you might reject me.” He smiled wistfully. “I was a fool to think that way though.”

“You were afraid I’d reject you?” Sunghoon asked.

“Uh-huh. Nadeu chuae uri cheonsa-ya. Ani, sasil neoleul saranghae. (I like you too, my angel. No, I’m actually in love with you.) So yeah, I was scared you wouldn’t reciprocate how I felt. It drove me crazy literally. You were within arm’s reach, but I couldn’t hold you the way I wanted. I had to limit myself, so I kept my distance, knowing that having you too close, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.”

“So that night…. did you really kiss me?”

Jiwon smiled mischievously. “Oh, that you remember.”

“I thought I was dreaming…” Sunghoon hung his head.

“Hoon-ah, urineun… let’s just take this slowly. We’re both going back to Korea in a week, and who knows what might happen then.”

“I’d still want to be with you.” Sunghoon automatically replied.

“I know.” Jiwon smiled, holding Sunghoon’s face in his hands. “And I do too. But Korea’s different, you know that. It’s not the same as here. We’d have to act accordingly there, especially since we’ll both be on stage. Do you get what I mean?”

“Nae hyung… Then what are we now?” Sunghoon asked, wanting to at least be clear about where they stand.

“What do you think?” Jiwon teased.

“Ya… I can’t believe you’re making light of this situation.” Sunghoon pouted.

Jiwon laughed at him. “I can’t help it, I’m happy.” He kissed Sunghoon on the forehead, wanting to kiss those full lips but restrained himself. ‘Not yet.’ he thought to himself. “One thing’s clear though, starting from now, you’re mine.”

Sunghoon smiled. “Neodo.. Neon nae kkeoya (you too… you’re mine.)

“Aigoo, so possessive.” Jiwon said, hugging Sunghoon tightly again. His chest felt lighter now after confessing. And he couldn’t be more happy.

“Ya, look who’s talking. You’re the one who said it first.” But he hugged Jiwon just as tightly, feeling relieved. “Badadeulseo gomaweo hyung (Thank you for accepting me).” Sunghoon mumbled.

“I should be the one saying that.” Then breaking away from the hug (much to Sunghoon’s disappointment), “let’s go to sleep. We’re getting melodramatic.” Then noticing how Sunghoon was pouting like a little kid, “Ya, what’s wrong with you?”he asked.

“I wanted to hug you a bit longer…” Sunghoon mumbled.

Jiwon laughed, reaching out to ruffle Sunghoon’s hair. “You can hug me all you want starting tomorrow, I won’t complain at all. But we both need to sleep, we have a lot to pack.”

“Arasseo, hyung, jaljja (Ok hyung, good night.)

Sunghoon got up to go to his room when Jiwon stopped him.

“Ya, eodiga? (Hey, where are you going?)

Sunghoon looked at him confusedly. “To my room, where else.”

Jiwon tapped the space beside him, “You’re sleeping with me tonight. Illeuwa (come here).”


“You think I’d let you sleep in your bed after confessing like that? Micheoseo? Come here, Hoon-ah. Starting today we’ll sleep in the same space.”

“I’ll just go get my pillow.” Sunghoon said with a smile on his face.


Jiwon lay beside Sunghoon, unable to sleep. He turned to his side to face Sunghoon, noticing he was awake as well. He smiled.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Us… Hyung, do you think we’ll… do you think our feelings will stay the same?”

“Who knows.. Let’s both live in the present Hoon-ah. Let’s just enjoy what we have. And… manyagae, if we fall out of love with each other let’s still stay as brothers agreed?”

“Of course hyung. You’ll always be my brother and best friend. So for now, Carpe Diem.”

“What does that even mean?”

Sunghoon laughed softly. “It means live in the present hyung, just like what you said.”

“It’s in an alien language.” Jiwon mumbled.

Sunghoon smiled. This was the Jiwon he knew. He scooted closer to him, wrapping his arms around Jiwon’s waist and laying his head against his chest.

“Jaljja hyung.”

He felt Jiwon’s lips on his forehead again. “Good night my angel. Saranghae.”

Sunghoon smiled against Jiwon’s chest, and suddenly realized something.”You know hyung, since I’m doing this, I feel like I’m the girl in this relationship.”

“We can take turns if you feel uncomfortable. I can lay my head on your chest if you want.” he teased.

“Go to sleep hyung.” Sunghoon snapped, closing his eyes.

Jiwon smiled at Sunghoon and held him close. For once, he really feels like he was in heaven.


I did say Sunday but guess what I finished early!!!! Much to my surprise! This is for my friend kim_asia and LizzyEun and for everyone else of course. Request granted..😁😁😁 I woke up early (as in 2am in the morning till 7:30) just to finish this. Well, the inspiration kept flowing in so before I forgot everything I just had to type it down. Now I’m off to go work overtime. Please wait for the next chapter by next week, I’ll be a bit busy since it’s quarter-end, month-end, semi-annual…. Gosh, accountants don’t really have a social life😈😈😈. Anyways, thank you for waiting patiently. I’m actually over-stepping my limits here haha!

Next chapter: They’re back in Korea training to be a duo but H.O.T suddenly debuted, so, instead of the duo they will now become a group. Yes, you’ll meet Jaejin, Jiyong, Jaeduk and Suwon in the next chapter.

Yeorubeun gomawoyeo!!! Saranghae!

Next Chapter


Whenever I’m With You by: reynzt15 part 2

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A Big Change

Hi guys!!! Since I’m feeling happy today, what with my brother getting married and my Sechskies merchandise arriving I’m spreading the happiness by updating 2 chapters. Enjoy!!

December Year 1995 Honolulu Hawaii

Jiwon: Nothing much has changed. We’re still together, still in Hawaii. Still looking out for each other like brothers, but this time my heart begs to differ. I know how I feel about him now, I’m sure. I’ve fallen hard for him. It’s strange. I know my preference would still be a woman, but Sunghoon makes me feel…. complete somehow. I can’t seem to see my life without him, sometimes I’d think I was meant to met him for this reason. I’m still his brother though, and since I’m older I should be more responsible. He looks up to me, and I promised his mom I’ll take good care of him. We only have each other after all.

Jiwon watched as Sunghoon ran up and down the shore, playing tag with the waves. Over the years, Jiwon noticed Sunghoon’s features were more prominent than before, and he managed to get buffer, taller, making him more handsome. They were quite famous around the area actually. The opposite brothers, that’s how they call them. It’s still amazing how two polar opposites can get along so well.

“Hyung!!” Sunghoon waved at him from the beach. “Come play with me!”

I like watching you though.’ Jiwon thought.

Jiwon motioned for Sunghoon to keep going, indicating he prefers to keep still.

Sunghoon, instead of continuing, marched up to Jiwon’s position, sat down next to him and put his arm around his shoulders.

“Yah hyung, wae? Are you nervous for tomorrow?”

“No, I’m not..” said Jiwon, elbowing Sunghoon gently.

Sunghoon smirked. “Ei, yes you are!” he teased. “It’s a first for you anyway.”

“Shut up, I’m not at all.” Jiwon adamantly denied, but in reality, he was.

They were going to perform tomorrow during the academy’s foundation day. Sunghoon was known to perform during school events, but it’ll be the first time for Jiwon since he came to Hawaii. He only agreed because it was their last year, they’ll be graduating soon. Their classmates would often say Sunghoon influenced Jiwon positively, but Jiwon begged to differ.  He’d rather say they influence each other.

“Ha! Gwaenchana  hyung, I’ll be right beside you.”

“Oh, that comforts me a lot uri cheonsa-yah..” Jiwon sighed heavily. He was now regretting agreeing to it. “Hoon-ah, what if I mess up?” Jiwon asked nervously, finally admitting his feelings. He likes to sing and dance, but never in front of people. It was only through coincidence that Sunghoon found out.


2 years ago

Sunghoon came home from grocery shopping earlier than he expected. The super had fewer people than the usual, so he didn’t wait long in line to pay.

Upon entering the house, he first put away the groceries he bought and sought to find Jiwon.

A booming sound from Jiwon’s room caused Sunghoon to get curious and take a peek. Jiwon was singing and dancing to Tootsee Roll, oblivious of the fact that Sunghoon was watching him with an admiring smile on his lips.


Since then Jiwon and Sunghoon would spend most of their free time singing and dancing to popular songs. Sunghoon would always try to persuade Jiwon to perform with him but he would always refuse. It took him 2 years to finally make Jiwon say yes.

“You’ll be fine hyung.” Sunghoon consoled. Jiwon didn’t have any idea how cool he looked when he’s performing. Sunghoon had to admit his charisma was overwhelming, it was no wonder Jiwon mesmerizes him. “Shall we practice one last time?”

“We should. I might forget the choreography.”



Day of the Performance

Jiwon: I can’t believe I’m really doing this. Sunghoon, that rascal. I just hope I don’t mess up.

Jiwon paced nervously in the back stage, while Sunghoon sat relaxed and watched him silently. After a while..

“Hyung, sit down. You’re going to implant your footsteps on the tiles.” Sunghoon said as he dragged Jiwon to the chair beside him.

Jiwon slumped on the chair, feeling defeated. “I don’t know why I agreed to this. Ya, should we just run away?” he said nervously.

Sunghoon quietly reached out and held his hand, making Jiwon stop fidgeting. This was the first time any of them held hands, and the sudden gesture surprised Jiwon. Sunghoon didn’t say anything. He just sat there and held his hand for a minute or so. A while later, their names were called. Sunghoon stood up, Jiwon following suit. Sunghoon then turned to face Jiwon.

“Hyung, you trust me right?”

“Of course.”

“Then believe me when I say you’ll be fine. Just pretend that it’s only the two of us. Or you can pretend that each and everyone of them is me. Pretend you’re dancing for me.” Sunghoon said as he still held Jiwon’s hand tightly.

Jiwon smiled. “Arasseo.. I’m doing this because of you anyway.”

Sunghoon smiled at him in return. “Kaja. Let’s make all the girls swoon.”

And they went up the stage to the roar of the audience. As soon as the music started, Jiwon forgot that he was in front of people. He felt that he was in their house, merely practicing, with only Sunghoon beside him. They danced in perfect sync without making mistakes, and if the audience’s cheers were any indication, they were the stars of the program, capturing the hearts of men and women alike.


*Lee Ho-yeon sat inside the auditorium quietly, watching the performances go by. He was quite interested in the 2 teens who danced to a remix of Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby and 69 Boyz’ Tootsee Roll. Even if the songs were a few years old, those two made it look fresh with their charms. He was especially drawn to the one with a pretty smile, although the darker one was more charismatic on stage. Together, though, those two owned the stage. Maybe it’s time for him to present another group to the industry.

He walked along the campus in hopes of finding the two when he came across them in the cafeteria.

“Hyung, what do you want to eat?” the blond-haired boy asked.

So they’re Korean!’ Mr. Lee thought excitedly.

‘You know what I like, just get them for me.” ordered the black-haired boy, sitting on one of the tables, while a group of girls seated themselves on the next table clearly wanting his attention. Strangely though, the boy didn’t pay them much attention. He was focused on his friend who was still in line waiting to pay.

“Hey Matthew, why don’t you and Ricky sit with us?” asked one of the girls.

Mr. Lee watched with interest. His attitude’s very different from the others, but that cold personality has a charismatic appeal.

“No, thanks. You’re already crowded.” the guy named Matthew answered, clearly annoyed.

“Hyung, your food’s here.” said the blond-haired boy as he sat down next to Matthew.

His smile was different this time, as he thanked his friend. It seems he’s only warm to people he’s close to.

“Hey Ricky, why don’t you and Matthew join us!” said the girl once more, clearly not taking no for an answer.

The guy named Ricky just smiled. “Thanks, but we prefer it this way.”

“Gosh, you two only spend time with each other, are you guys dating or something?”

At that, Matthew glared. Even Mr. Lee had to admit he looked scary, as the girl suddenly cowered.

“Say what again Jean?” Matthew rose, as Ricky tried to calm him down.

“Hyung,  geudeul-eul singyeong sseuji mala (don’t mind them). Cmon sit back down.”

But Matthew seemed irritated at the girl.

“I was just joking.” said the girl timidly.

“You wanna know why I don’t want to join you? Because I don’t like you. Need I say more?”

“Hyung! Geumanhaeyeo.” Ricky pulled at Matthew’s shirt forcing him to sit. “She just wants your attention. You shouldn’t have been so cool on stage a while ago if you didn’t want to be bothered.” said Ricky jokingly, clearly wanting to ease Matthew’s tension.

“Wow, look at you, pinning this as my fault.” but he smiling slightly at Ricky.

“I’m just saying…” said Ricky. “Hyung, jeongmal meosisseoyo (you were really cool). I’m not surprised they’re acting like that.”

“Stop it already. That’s the last time you’re going to make me dance in front of everyone.”

Mr. Lee couldn’t hold much longer, he approached the two boys and quietly introduced himself.

” Annyeonghaseyo..”

Since he was older, the two boys got to their feet slowly and greeted him, bowing low.

“Please sit down. There’s no need to be formal here, we’re overseas anyway.”

The girls on the other table looked  curiously at them but since he was speaking Korean, they lost interest.

“I’ll make it short. My name is Lee Ho-yeon.” and he took a business card from his pocket and gave it to them. “I’m the owner of an agency called DSP Media based in Korea, and we’re currently recruiting talented young teens to join us. Do you mind if I ask what your names are?”

“Eun Jiwon-ibnida. Igeossneun Kang Sunghoon-ibnida (I’m Eun Jiwon. This is Kang Sunghoon).” Jiwon answered, taking a look at the business card.

“I saw you dance a while ago during the program, that’s why I took interest. Do you guys want to singers?”

Jiwon looked at him skeptically. Mr. Lee knew that look and he had to admit, for a teenager, he’s smart when it comes to strangers. He smiled at him.

“I’m not a fraud if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Well, they all say that in the first place.” Jiwon answered.

“Yes they do, but I can assure you that I’m legitimate.”

“We’ll have to think about it.” Jiwon replied. He doesn’t want to jump into decisions hastily, especially since both of them are being recruited. Jiwon wouldn’t mind doing it with Sunghoon, but he wanted to be sure just in case.

“I knew you were going to say that. Anyways, I’ll be staying in Hawaii for a week. You can give me a call of the decision you make okay?” Mr. Lee said then he stood up.

“Nae, algesseumida ( yes, I understand).” Jiwon replied, also standing up and bowing. Sunghoon followed suit.

After Mr. Lee left, Sunghoon faced Jiwon. “What do you think hyung.”

Jiwon was deep in thought. “We’ll talk about this at home Hoonie-ah.” he said.

“Arasseo hyung.”


Jiwon just got off the phone after he placed a long distance call to his dad. His father had connections in the entertainment industry due to his business. Jiwon called to confirm if DSP Media was really a legitimate company.

“You’re saying you were approached by Lee Ho-yeon?” his father asked.

“Yeah, Dad. He gave us his business card.”

“Aren’t you lucky. He’s the owner. I don’t know if he’s the CEO but he owns the company. They’re still small though if you compare them with others since they’ve only started. But **Firetruck is really popular.”


“It’s a group they’re handling. You’re saying you want to try? You’ve never liked singing in front of people.”

“Well, I get to sing with Sunghoon so I think it’ll be okay. Besides I love music anyway.”

“Ah, Sunghoon-ssi, no wonder. I should visit the temple and thank Buddha for letting you meet Kang Sunghoon.”

“Arasseo, ara.I’m lucky I met Sunghoon. You know, you and Mom are the same.”

Jiwon’s father laughed. “It’s just that you’re a totally different person now as compared to 2 years ago.”

Jiwon sighed. They’re making him look like such a bad student, and only Sunghoon managed to change him. He’d have to agree though. He has a lot to be thankful to Sunghoon for.

“Dad, is it okay if we do this?” he asked. If his parents were against it, he’d have to forget about it. One thing about Jiwon is that he would ask his parents regarding big decisions.

“Well… it would mean foregoing your college education though. But… if you really wanna do it I see why not. Besides, you’re still young.”

Jiwon contemplated the offer. Accepting it meant going back to Korea, where they would definitely train. Rejecting would still mean going back to Korea and applying for college. Jiwon always wanted to try different things but becoming a singer was one he never imagined. Since the opportunity already presented itself, he wanted to take the risk, but only if Sunghoon joined him.


Jiwon opened his eyes, and saw Sunghoon standing in his bedroom door watching him.

“Come in Hoonie-ah,” said Jiwon sitting up from his bed.

Sunghoon sat beside Jiwon, trying not to look too embarassed at seeing him topless. It was his room anyways.

“Ahem…” he cleared his throat.

“Did you talk to your Mom?” Jiwon asked, oblivious to the fact that Sunghoon was blushing.

“Uhm, yeah.. she said it’s up to me, though from the sound of it, she’s highly opposed to the idea.”

“Well, you’re still technically a minor.”

“Hyung, there are a lot of singers younger than me. Nan…hago-ssipeunde (I wanna do it)…. but only if you’ll join me.”

Jiwon smiled at that. He faced Sunghoon, whose cheeks were really red now. “It amazes me sometimes how we think alike. So, is that our only term?”

“Well, yeah, and that we’d only be joining after graduation. It’s only months away..”

“Yeah, 6 more months. So it’s a duo then.”

“Nae hyung..”

“Arasseo.. Tomorrow morning I’ll give Mr. Lee a call. Anyway this calls for a celebration.”

Sunghoon raised his eyebrows. “What are you planning hyung?”

“Drinks. It’s about time you learn.”


Author’s note: *Lee Ho-yeon is currently the owner of DSP Entertainment, the former agency of Sechskies. I don’t know if he was the CEO at the time they were discovered.

**Firetruck was the first group that DSP launched. They were successful and up to now are still loved by older generations.

The next chapter is a side-story, not really a full chapter. Hope you enjoy!! 😘😘😘😘


Side Story – What Happens When You’re Drunk?

Sunghoon looked apprehensively at the bottles of beer on the table. He hasn’t tried drinking before, and this will be the first.

“Hyung…” he called Jiwon, who was busy cooking something to eat while drinking.

“Hmmm?” Jiwon answered.

“You said so yourself that I’m still technically a minor, so why should I drink?”

“You’re not drinking to get drunk, you’re just learning. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you in check.”

I’m not worried.’ Sunghoon thought. “When did you start drinking hyung?” he asked.

“Same age as you are now.” Jiwon said simply.

“Oh, so I should take after you?”

Jiwon laughed, scooping up the fried chicken onto the plate and putting it on the table. Sitting down he opened one bottle and gave it to Sunghoon, who took it reluctantly.

“Hoon-ah, when I was your age, I got so drunk I couldn’t even make it back home. So no, you’re not taking after me.” Seeing as Sunghoon still held the bottle, Jiwon took it from him and poured some into a glass, then set it in front of Sunghoon.

“You weren’t alone?” asked Sunghoon.

“No,” Jiwon answered as he opened a bottle and poured a glass for himself. “It was Sienna’s 16th birthday party. You see, her parents are always away, so on her birthday she held a party for everyone. Since I was inexperienced, I ended up getting drunk. I woke up the next day, naked in bed with Sienna.”

“What?!” Sunghoon thought he misheard Jiwon. Surely, Jiwon wouldn’t allow losing himself like that.

Jiwon snickered. “I think she just undressed me. I still feel like a virgin though.”


Jiwon laughed. “I’m joking. I did wake up naked but not beside Sienna.” Jiwon took a piece of chicken and gave it to Sunghoon. “Here, eat first, then take a sip. Beer doesn’t taste good when it’s no longer cold.”

Sunghoon followed what Jiwon said and coughed. The beer tasted bitter to him. “Ack! You like this kind of thing?” Sunghoon wondered.

“It’s only the first one that tastes nasty. After a while you’ll get used to the taste, and you’ll find it refreshing.” Jiwon said while carelessly eating a chicken.

“Hyung… were you really alone when you woke up?” Sunghoon asked, still curious of Jiwon’s past experience. He never told this story to him before, maybe because they never drank together.


“Geureom, who were you with?”

“I was with Don.” said Jiwon seriously, but his eyes were laughing.

“Ei hyung!!”

Jiwon laughed again. “You look so serious, why do you wanna know?”

“I’m just curious…” Sunghoon said, taking a sip of beer hastily.

Jiwon looked hard at Sunghoon before answering. “Jessica.”


“I was with Jessica.” Jiwon answered, downing the whole glass of beer.

“Aahh…” Sunghoon no longer wanted to know the rest. Whenever Jessica is mentioned, Jiwon’s eyes would always lose their glow. Sunghoon drank half the glass, regretting his question. He took a piece.of chicken to mask the bitterness of beer.

“It’s the past. Do you wanna hear the rest?”

“Hyung, if you’re uncomfortable with it, there’s no need. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Yeah, well, I made so many mistakes before I met you.”

“Then I guess, I should thank the heavens you haven’t made mistakes since I got here.”

“I told you you’re an angel.” Jiwon said, smiling at him.

There he goes again. Saying things out of the blue. Just why does my heart flutter whenever he calls me angel? I can’t understand this. I really can’t.

Sunghoon downed the glass of beer, prompting Jiwon to stop him.

“Ya! Slow down! You’re not used to drinking, you’ll get drunk easily that way.” taking away the glass from Sunghoon. He poured him another glass, but warned him. “Cheoncheonhi.”

Sunghoon gave him an 👌 ok sign.


They were both on their 4th bottle. Sunghoon looked already tipsy, his cheeks flushed red.

“I think you’ve had enough Hoon-ah.” said Jiwon, taking the glass from Sunghoon.

“I’m shill fine hyyung..” Sunghoon slurred.

“No, you’ve had enough. Gosh, you’re a lightweight. It’s a good thing we’re home.”

Jiwon started clearing the table, while Sunghoon sat slumping, his head resting on the backrest of the chair. Jiwon smiled.

‘Angels are not supposed to drink anyway.‘ Jiwon thought.



“What if someone told you they like you, how would you react?”

“It depends on who’s confessing.”

“What if it was me?”


“I’m just joking..but what if it was someone like me hyung, how would you react?”

Jiwon sat next to Sunghoon and looked at him square in the eye. Sunghoon’s eyes were unfocused. Jiwon sighed. Sunghoon was clearly drunk.

‘If it was you, I’d gladly accept you with no questions, but since you’re drunk, I’m gonna let this one go.’ Jiwon thought.

“Let’s go Hoon-ah. You’re drunk, let’s get you to bed.”


“Sunghoon-ah, let’s go.” Then putting Sunghoon’s arm around his shoulder, he guided Sunghoon towards his bedroom.

“Hyung, I need to pee.” Sunghoon said suddenly, making his way towards the bathroom tipsily, Jiwon right behind him.

After relieving himself, Sunghoon made his way towards his bed, Jiwon following along, making sure that Sunghoon got tucked in.

Instead of lying down, Sunghoon sat down and pulled Jiwon beside him, forcing him to sit down.

“Ya.” Jiwon tried to get up, but Sunghoon held him tightly by the arm, holding him down.

“Hyung, I guess I’m drunk.”

“Yes you are, you’re such a bad drinker. The alcohol goes straight to your brain rather than your stomach. Go to sleep Hoon-ah.” Jiwon said, trying to make him lie down, but Sunghoon was adamant.

“Still, I want you to know one thing.” and Sunghoon did the unexpected, he hugged Jiwon tightly who grew still at the sudden action. “Hyung, saranghae. Neol jinjja chuae. (Hyung, I love you. I really like you.)” then Sunghoon  grew limp against him, succumbing to sleep.

Jiwon sighed, pushing Sunghoon away from him and gently laying him down the bed. He caressed Sunghoon’s face with a finger, marvelling at his perfect features.

“If only you were sober when you said that, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you how I feel no matter how weird it may seem. But I’m afraid you’ll forget this come morning. Still, it’s a good memory Hoonie-ah. Thank you. I really like you too.” he confessed to the sleeping Sunghoon, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

Then Jiwon did something he’s never done before. He kissed Sunghoon on the forehead, bidding him good night.

This was really a night of firsts.


Ai cham! My heart! 💞💞💞 Gosh, just when will they reveal their feelings for each other. Even I’m curious.😂😂😂

Please do note that the conversation  on the latter part is where Sunghoon’s supposed to be drunk, but since I find it hard to slur the words he utter, I decided to just write neatly. But please bear in mind that he’s drunk. 😂😂



Whenever I’m With You by: reynzt15

whenever im with you.JPG

  • a EunKang / JyonJin (Jiwon x Jaejin) fanfic
  • on-going
  • from asianfanfics


This is a pretty insane idea I had… It just suddenly occurred to me. I did promise a Sechskies fanfic but honestly I didn’t know how to start, so I hope you can keep up with this story. I decided on how they all met years ago. The dates and everything else are all fictional though based on real life. I don’t know how to end this yet so there’s no fixed number of chapters.

This is an EunKang fanfic with a taste of WonJin on the side.. After all who doesn’t like strange Lee Jaejin?


As part of a group, Jiwon knew better than to get too close. But his feelings tell him otherwise. He never did liked anyone else.

Sunghoon did notice, but he knew they both had to keep their feelings in check. It wasn’t a question on what would happen if their feelings get revealed.

Jaejin had been hiding his feelings for a while, and he did a really good job of it. No one needed to know how he felt about Jiwon, or he’d be an outcast…again… Jaeduck and Suwon just stood on the sidelines, watching the love triangle unfold in front of them. They didn’t know what to do though, for acknowledging it would make everything awkward not to mention ruin the group they’ve protected all these years.

First Meeting

Year 1993 Honolulu, Hawaii

Jiwon: I noticed him as soon as he walked in. The blond-haired handsome boy looked around the classroom in pitiful silence.

I’ve been there. I never knew anyone when I came here so I know what he’s going through. But I figured he must be from another country, judging from the way he dressed, so I pretended to sleep knowing that I’ll never be able to strike a conversation with him. My English is not up to par anyway.

He took a vacant seat behind me. Strangely I felt queasy, I didn’t know why. I guess it’s just my imagination but I somehow felt someone was watching me. I shrugged it off and continued pretending. I didn’t even have to participate in class. I studied it all before, but there was no point in joining class discussions. They laugh at me when I’d explain anyway. As if these kids know better.

The teacher then called the class into attention.

“Quiet down all of you!” she shouted as the chatter slowly died down. “Good. Now we have a new student, he just transferred from overseas. Ricky, please come up to the front and introduce yourself.”

Sunghoon got up and walked shyly to the front, but his smile was beaming as he greeted everyone. (If Jiwon was watching him though, he’d know he was Korean by his way of greeting.) Sunghoon bowed low.

“Hello everyone my name is Ricky Kang. Nice to meet you.” Sunghoon greeted in broken English.

There were quiet murmurs of ‘Nice to meet you’ and ‘hello’ from everyone. The girls though were more interested. A specially obnoxious one, named Sienna, waved at Sunghoon flirtatiously.

“Put down your hand Ms. Robbins, this is not a casual meeting.” said the teacher. Then she turned to Sunghoon and said, “Please get back to your seat Ricky, and oh, do wake up Matthew, the one sitting in front of you. It’s time for class to start.”

Dismissed, Sunghoon made his way towards his seat, and sat down, then slowly reached out towards Jiwon and patted his back gently.

“Hey, hey…”

Jiwon was awake, but since he was pretending, he appeared irritated at being woken up.

“Aishh… Mwoya… (what?!)“.. Jiwon said irritatedly.

Sunghoon was surprised. “o? neo hanguginiya? (Oh, you’re Korean)

Jiwon looked at him suddenly, surprised at hearing his native tongue. Before he could say another word though, the teacher called their attention and Jiwon and Sunghoon was forced to listen.

Jiwon couldn’t wait for class to end so when he heard the bell ring, he quickly turned his seat around so that he was facing Sunghoon. He propped his hands on the backrest, and rested his face there all the while looking at Sunghoon curiously.

“Annyeong..” he said tentatively.

“Annyeong… Ireumi mwoyeyo? (What’s your name?)” Sunghoon asked.

Jiwon smiled just then, and the sudden change in his demeanor made his face brighter that Sunghoon was mesmerized. He quickly shook it off.

“Yeokshi… I’m Jiwon. They call me Matthew here but I prefer my birth name.

How bout you? You’re birth name?”

“Sunghoon. Wow, I thought I was gonna die from speaking English here.”

“Sucks doesn’t it?” Jiwon agreed as Sunghoon nodded. “You should have seen how it was for me.”

Sunghoon couldn’t help but sympathize with Jiwon. It must have been hard for him to mingle with non-Korean students.

Jiwon was still looking at Sunghoon, admiring the perfect face in front of him. He thought if ever Sunghoon was a girl, he’d be a stunner.

“School just got more interesting.. Maybe I should attend often.” Jiwon said mysteriously. “Sunghoon-ssi, how old are you?”

“Cheoyo? I’m 14, well in Korean age.”

“Geureom, Naneun hyung-ida (So, I’m older). I’m 16. Weird isn’t it. This academy doesn’t choose the age group, they teach kids of different ages here.

It’s okay if I don’t use formal language with you right?”

“Of course hyung! I’d like that!” Sunghoon smiled brightly. At least he wouldn’t feel left out anymore.

His smile gave Jiwon a different feeling he couldn’t describe. He likes his smile, it’s warm and alluring. He had to keep reminding himself though that Sunghoon is a guy. Otherwise, he’d definitely think he’s falling for his charms.

“Great! Jjigembuteo, you and I are friends.” and he straightened up from how he was sitting, then extended his hand towards Sunghoon for a hand shake.

Sunghoon took it gladly and shook his hand, wondering why he suddenly felt tingles. He brushed it off as goosebumps and smiled at Jiwon brightly.

Jiwon felt the same sensation he did, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it, so when Sunghoon smiled at him, he couldn’t help but smile back. ‘There is something to look forward to now.’ he thought briefly.


Author’s note:

Whenever the name of a character is italicized, then followed by a train of thought, then that means it’s the point of view of the character. It’s like talking in first person.

Please do leave comments and suggestions. Thanks for subscribing…!!!

Strange Feeling

Sunghoon: I didn’t notice it at first, but the more I look at Jiwon-hyung, the cooler he becomes. He’s got that devil-may-care attitude I envy. I honestly wished I was more like him. That certain attitude draw girls to him, girls love bad boy personas. I have to admit he’s handsome. When you look closely at him, his eyes are really charming. And every time he smiles at me, it makes my heart skip a beat seriously. Wait what am I thinking?!?

Sunghoon sighed as he entered the class, noticing how Jiwon was surrounded by a group of girls, while Jiwon was trying his damnedest to ignore them. He spotted Sunghoon, and instantly smiled at him. Sunghoon smiled back and wave.

“Hey get away from there.” Jiwon rudely told a girl sitting on Sunghoon’s chair.

The girl, whose name was Fara, pouted at Jiwon. “I’m not leaving. Sunghoon can sit on my lap..” she said flirtatiously, which elicited giggles from the other girls.

Sienna on the other hand, finding the opportunity, gently sat on the arm of Jiwon’s chair. “Hey Matthew, wanna come by my house later and have fun? My parents are abroad.” she whispered, the meaning behind her invitation didn’t go unnoticed.

Jiwon suddenly stood up, causing Sienna to lose balance and fall to the floor.

Some of the students laughed. Sunghoon had to hold his laughter too but in his head he was thinking, ‘serves you right‘.

Jiwon smirked. “I’m sorry, Sienna, I suddenly felt the urge to pee.” Then turning towards Fara, he added. “You, if I come back from the washroom and see you still sitting there, I’ll carry you, chair and all, over to your proper place and switch your seat with Sunghoon’s. Then we’ll reveal just what’s in that desk of yours.”

Everyone knew Fara loved to doodle, but since she’s older than most of them (19 to be exact) her drawings consisted of lewd pictures, (it’s up to your imagination), which she always placed on top of her seat. Her classmates knew better than to touch it though. But each and every one of them know better than to mess with Matthew too. And Matthew can be scary.

Fara shot to her feet and glared at Jiwon. Then she stomped over to her chair and crossed her arms, the other girls following her, Sienna still massaging her buttocks.

Sunghoon walked up to his chair and grinned at Jiwon. “Thanks hyung.” Jiwon clapped a hand on his shoulder, smiling and said, “No problem. But I wasn’t joking though. I really gotta pee.” then he quickly made his way out towards the washroom to relieve himself, leaving Sunghoon smiling.

One of their classmates, Ronald, sidled up to Sunghoon and commented.

“You know, Matthew’s really something. Any other guy wouldn’t have given Sienna’s invitation a second thought.”

Jiwon-hyung’s different‘ Sunghoon thought. “Matthew hates flirts. He got his heart broken before by one, so he hates them.” Sunghoon said simply.

Ronald smirked. “There’s no such thing as honest relationships nowadays. It’s almost the 20th century. Everybody’s sleeping with everybody. Why don’t you give Fara a chance? She’s been eyeing you ever since you got here.” Ronald looked sideways towards Fara and whistled low. “Man, those are great legs.”

“She’s too old for me.”

“Hey, the older, the better. Besides, what are you? 14? It’s not a big deal. I got laid the first time when I was 12 you know.” Ronald boasted, to which his friends whistled in admiration. “Those older girls are really something.

They’ve got more experience than most girls…”

“You want to experience my fist Ronald? Or do you want to shut up and stop wrongly influencing my brother?” Jiwon’s serious tone cut off everything Ronald wanted to say.

Ronald gulped. It’s not a good thing when Jiwon glared at you like that. He quickly went back to his seat.

“Stupid assholes.” Jiwon murmured as he took his seat. Jiwon was fuming.

Sunghoon was only 14. He didn’t need all those BS from stupid guys.

“Relax hyung..” Sunghoon said in Korean. “They wouldn’t be able to force me anyway. Fara-noona stinks.” Sunghoon said as he wrinkled his nose which Jiwon found exceptionally cute.

Jiwon had to laugh at Sunghoon’s expression. Sunghoon was the only one who could really calm him down. He had to agree though. Some of these girls only wash every two or three days, growing accustomed to the cold climate they came from, and since Hawaii’s weather’s mostly humid, it’s hard not to smell weird sometimes.

“Heul.. There was nothing to worry about then.” Jiwon smiled at Sunghoon, ruffling his hair in the process.

Sunghoon didn’t really like people touching his hair, but with Jiwon it was different. He actually likes it when he does. It makes him feel special.

‘I’m getting this strange feeling again.’

They abruptly quieted down when the teacher came in to start the class.

Reluctantly, Jiwon turned around to face the front.

“Okay class. Today will be a practical recitation.”

There was a collective groan. Everybody hated practical.

“Now, now, this will be easy. We already discussed everything anyway.”

Their teacher took out the roll call sheet and began calling names.

“Those I call, please come up to the front and solve the following problems. Dimitri, Amelia, Matthew, Reeves and Sienna.”

Jiwon scratched his head in irritation, but he quietly made his way towards the board and picked up a marker.

Everybody wrote down the problem the teacher and said, and tried their best to solve it. Jiwon, on the other hand, just looked at it, not even writing his solution. The teacher was about to reprimand him when he wrote his answer quickly and gently put down the marker. The teacher looked at him, clearly stunned. She looked at her book, then back again at Jiwon’s answer.

4(4×)+2(×) = 72

x = 4

The teacher cleared her throat. “Everybody stop. Mr. Eun, care to explain how you arrived at your answer?”

Jiwon shrugged. “It’s simple. You just multiply and add everything. Then you divide from 72 to get the value of x.”

“And how did you get the answer without writing the solution?”

Jiwon looked at her incredulously. “I used my head Mrs. Chen, in case you didn’t notice.” he replied sarcastically.

Mrs. Chen raised her eyebrows, about to give a scolding. She caught herself though, and just shook her head in defeat. “If you were wrong, you’d definitely get detention from such disrespectful treatment… but since you’re right, take a seat, Mr. Eun.” she couldn’t really scold him when he was right.

Jiwon just shrugged at her. Unbeknown to him, all the girls were eyeing him admiringly. He may be a goon inside the classroom, but everyone knew Jiwon was smart.

Dana, Jiwon’s seatmate, whispered to Jiwon as soon as he was seated. “That was impressive Matthew.”

Jiwon scoffed. “Impressive mwoseun.. Every 5th grader in Korea can answer that question.” Jiwon mumbled in Korean.

Sunghoon had to smile to himself. Jiwon was probably right. It was a pretty easy problem but unlike Jiwon, he probably would have written down the answer.

He had to admire Jiwon for his mental ability. That was what’s impressive.

Jiwon turned his head around to look at Sunghoon. “Hoon-ah, wake me up when it’s time to go home. This class is boring.” and he smiled at him widely.

“Let’s go someplace fun later.”

Sunghoon just nodded at him and smiled. He could see how Jiwon would be so appealing to girls and scary to the boys. He appeals to boys too, if he really thought about it. Despite his temper, Jiwon was actually caring and protective of his friends. With that devil-may-care attitude, along with his gentleness, who wouldn’t like him? Sunghoon stared at Jiwon sleeping. ‘Even his back looks handsome.‘ Sunghoon thought.

Before Sunghoon got lost in his thoughts, the teacher called him to the front.

Sunghoon sighed. ‘Jiwon-hyung’s right. This class is boring.‘ as he answered the given problem as easily as Jiwon did.


First Date???

Their classes were all done for the day. Some of Jiwon’s classmates, Don, Bill and Seth, invited him to hang out with them but Jiwon refused.

“I’m giving Ricky a tour today.” he said simply, as he gathered his belongings.

“Wow, you’re so lucky Ricky.” said Don enviously.

“Why?” Sunghoon wondered.

“Matthew here gives a tour only to those he’s really fond of, not to mention the places you’re going to, teenagers are not even allowed to go there.”

“Oh really?” Sunghoon asked dubiously. “And how many tours have you given hyung?” He asked Jiwon in Korean.

“This is only the 2nd. The first one, well, let’s just say it’s the past.” Jiwon said.

Their classmates, not understanding their conversation, eventually confirmed what Jiwon just said.

“Did you know you’re only the second one to get that tour? Jessica was the first one, boy wasn’t she something..” Seth started, but he abruptly stopped his rattling as soon as Jiwon glared at him.

“I… I’m sorry Matt… I didn’t mean…” he stammered.

Jiwon took a deep breath to calm himself. “Forget it. I’ll let you off just this once. Mention her again, you’re dead.” Jiwon threatened.

Seth nodded vigorously.

Jiwon: Stupid asshole talking about Jessica in front of Sunghoon. As if I needed any reminder of my stupidity. But honestly, why do I feel bothered?

Jiwon mentally chastised himself then forcefully pulled Sunghoon by the hand towards the parking lot away from their friends.

Sunghoon on the other hand, was curious, but knew better than to ask. Jessica. So that was the name of his first love. Jiwon once mentioned it to him, but in passing. Clearly he didn’t want to talk about her.

“Hyung, where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” and they stopped beside a Ducati Monster big bike which made Sunghoon gawk.

“Is this yours?” Sunghoon asked in awe. Only rich people could afford a Ducati (and this was the 90’s). He hadn’t even seen one up close until today.

Jiwon grinned at Sunghoon’s awe-struck expression. He mimed wiping Sunghoon’s drool by gently running his thumb across Sunghoon’s lips, lingering there a second longer than intended. He abruptly withdrew his hand and teased Sunghoon.

“Ya you’re drooling.” said Jiwon, as he put his hand in his pocket to hide it from trembling. “It’s not mine. I just borrowed it from my Dad. And it’s only for today.”

Sunghoon wiped at his mouth, then noticing that he’s not really drooling…

“Ya hyung!! Aisssh..”

Jiwon laughed. “Come on, hop in, we’re going riding.” he said while wearing his helmet and handing out the other one to Sunghoon.

“Do you even have a license?” Sunghoon asked as he donned on his backpack and secured the helmet.

“Hoon-ah, you get a license here as young as 15. I got mine last year. That’s how I discovered those places we’re going to today.”

Then Jiwon started the bike, which roared into life. Sunghoon climbed at the back, his excitement undeniable. As Jiwon steadily drove the bike out of the parking lot, Sunghoon’s exhilaration can’t be contained.

“Gaja!!” he shouted over the roar of the engine.

Jiwon smiled and drove faster, the wind whipping at their faces. They took a deserted road and were out of the city in a moment.

“Hyung!” Sunghoon shouted.


“Where are we going?!”

“Tantalus! You’ll see!”

Sunghoon thought Tantalus was a bar or a park.

“Ya Sunghoon!” Jiwon called over his shoulder.


“Hold tight you idiot! You might fall off!”

They were going at a little over 80kph and Sunghoon was only holding Jiwon’s jacket to keep him steady. Jiwon was worried a little bump on the road might make him fall off.

Sunghoon tentatively wrapped his skinny arms around Jiwon’s waist, the contact sending his heart into overdrive. He paid his heart no heed, no matter how strange it seemed.

Jiwon felt rather than saw the nearness of Sunghoon’s body to him. A small smile formed on his lips, before he caught himself. He must be really deprived of company if he can feel this way with Sunghoon. He silently cursed.

Jiwon: Maybe I’m missing home too much. Maybe Sunghoon’s presence reminds me of home. That’s why I feel this way with him.

They reached Tantalus Lookout in just minutes. Tantalus overlooks the city of Honolulu, which is built on top of Tantalus cinders. It has a breathtaking view of the sunset, which is one of the reasons Jiwon wanted to bring Sunghoon here.

He stopped the bike and allowed Sunghoon to disembark first, him following suit. He parked the bike on the grassy expanse, and plopped down on the grass with his bag. Sunghoon gently sat down next to him.

“What is this place hyung?” Sunghoon asked looking around.

“It’s an extinct cinder cone. It gets pretty here at night, you’ll see.”

“Uhm, what’s a cinder cone?”

Jiwon snorted. “I don’t know. I just read about it on some books. I think it formed after a volcanic eruption or something. Ya imma, just research about it, don’t ask me questions.” He fished out 2 bottles of soda and a bag of chips from his bag and handed them to Sunghoon. “Here. Drink while it’s still cold.” He took one of the bottles and popped it open then took a drink..

“Wow, that’s refreshing..”

Sunghoon smiled while watching Jiwon. He lived such carefree lifestyle it’s contagious. No wonder he looked so cool. He was smart, warm-hearted but at the same time a bad-ass (pardon the word). Sunghoon drank from his bottle leisurely, watching the city stretch out before his eyes. The cool breeze brought about the scent of eucalyptus it was relaxing.

“Do you come here often hyung?” Sunghoon asked, as the skies turned a lighter shade of red.

“Sometimes when I’m bored. I don’t have that much friends here, and everyone else, all they talk about are girls and girls and girls, it’s exhausting.” Jiwon looked up at the sky where the sun had begun setting. “Hoon-ah look.”

“Wow…. deomo ippeo..” Sunghoon exclaimed while looking at the sunset.

Jiwon looked at Sunghoon and smiled. “This is actually the first time I brought someone with me here. Chukahae neon ildeung! (Congrats, you’re first!).” and he gave Sunghoon a thumbs up.

“I thought I was the second…” Sunghoon answered confusedly.

“Second one I gave a tour to. But that doesn’t mean I went to the same places. I never brought her here.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because she didn’t deserve it.” then Jiwon stood up and went near the edge of the plain, beckoning Sunghoon to follow him.

Sunghoon stood behind Jiwon, wondering what he’s planning this time.

“Now, you’ll get to see the best view of the night.”

Sunghoon was still clueless, until Jiwon started counting down.

“10…9…8…7…6….5….4…3…2…1… Chan!!!!” Jiwon said as he gestured towards the city.

Sunghoon looked in amazement. One by one the city lights turned on, as if on cue, like christmas lights. It was a spectacular view, Sunghoon felt like he was watching a light show.

“Amazing isn’t it?” Jiwon said knowingly.

“Nae hyung. It’s my first time seeing anything like this. Gomaweo..” Sunghoon said, smiling while looking at the city lights.

Jiwon: This scrawny brat even looks more like an angel at night. How did he get such fair skin?

“Hoon-ah…” Jiwon said quietly.


“You live alone right?”

“Aah nae.. I rent an apartment near the school.. waeyo?”

“Wanna come live with me?”

Sunghoon looked at Jiwon in surprise. The suggestion came out of the blue that Sunghoon answered in a voice higher than usual.

“Live with you?!” he answered abruptly.

Jiwon didn’t know whether Sunghoon found the suggestion ridiculous or feasible. What he knew was how Sunghoon looked at him now. He laughed.

“You should see the look on your face. It’s like you got slapped awake from a dream!” Jiwon chortled.

Sunghoon pouted. “Aish hyung! Don’t joke like that! Gapchagi-ai.”

Jiwon then stopped laughing and turned to him poker-faced, and Sunghoon wondered how Jiwon’s moods could shift so suddenly.

“I’m serious. You wanna come live with me? You don’t have to pay rent. It’s our house after all.”


“What do you say? You can ask permission from your Mom, but I think she’ll like it. After all, she must be worried sick about her only son living so far alone.”

Sunghoon smiled pleasantly. “I don’t think I need permission. I think Mom would like it too.”

“Geulaeseo…? (So?)”

“So yeah, I’ll come live with you.”

“A-ssa!! Yeokshi nae dongsaeng!!! (Alright! That’s my brother!!) Let’s go home then. The road’s tricky here when it gets darker.”

And together, with Jiwon’s hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder, they trudged up to where the bike was parked and went back to the city.

Jiwon took Sunghoon to dinner to celebrate. They were a sight to see, two opposites. Where Jiwon was dark-skinned, Sunghoon was fair. Where Sunghoon’s face looked gentle and sweet, Jiwon was rugged and strong. But they were having fun, in fact, it was the most fun Jiwon had since he came to Hawaii. They enjoyed the night, just like any other teenager would.

Jiwon dropped Sunghoon off in his apartment, their laughter echoing through the quiet night.

“Hyung, I had so much fun today. Gomaweoyeo.” Sunghoon said sincerely, his eyes sparkling with happiness.

“Ya, don’t forget on Saturday okay?”

They agreed that Sunghoon will be moving in on weekend so as not to rush.

Sunghoon nodded. “Nae hyung. I’ll be ready. Naeil-bwayeo!” waving at Jiwon happily.

“Uh-huh, jal-ja!” Jiwon waved back. He waited until Sunghoon got inside before he rode off towards his house.

Jiwon finally no longer felt alone.


Thanks for subscribing guys. I must say I’m touched. Already 30+ subscribers in just two days. Gives me inspiration to write. Thank you!!

P.S. still waiting fro my Honolulu DVD to arrive. I basically need some insight to Hawaii. And I need more information on Jiwon and Sunghoon’s life there so I wanted to watch their MaRi tour they gave the other members. The next chapter’s gonna be uploaded later this week if I manage to receive it or if not, well, I’ll just swing it then…😂😂😂 (should I just swing it? It’s fiction anyway 😆😆😆)


It All Starts Here

Sunghoon: This’ll be my first time living with someone other than my mom and sister. I’m excited! Jiwon-hyung’s really amazing. It was truly boring living alone. I’m glad he asked.

Sunghoon finished moving his things late that Saturday afternoon. His room was right next to Jiwon. He had to admit he’s impressed. Jiwon’s family must be pretty rich if they can afford a house overseas. The house was spacious, with everything Jiwon needed.

He was leisurely playing games on Jiwon’s family computer when Jiwon came out of his room, freshly bathed. He wore a casual sleeveless shirt and shorts, typical Hawaii outfit.

“Ya! You’re going to die if you keep doing that!” yelled Jiwon as Sunghoon’s character slowly evaded the enemy. He tried to take the controller from Sunghoon.

“Ai hyung!! Let me finish!!” Sunghoon shouted as he dodged and tried to win against the computer, all the while Jiwon was shouting instructions at him. In the end, Sunghoon’s character died.

“Ei!!!” they shouted together.

Sunghoon turned to look at Jiwon. “Ya hyung, I think I’ve gone deaf. Your voice is really loud.”

“Jinjja?” Then Jiwon hooked an arm on Sunghoon’s shoulder and suddenly blew into his ear. Sunghoon retracted in surprise.

“Ya! What was that for?!” he yelled at Jiwon, who was laughing at him.

“Hahaha!! Neon jinjja kyeowo!! (You’re really cute!!) You really should record your reactions, it’s a sight to see.” Jiwon said, his eyes dancing with laughter.

“Tssh.. You like making fun of me don’t you?” Sunghoon snapped at him.

“Ei… You know I’m the only one who can make fun of you. If others did, they’d get it from me.” Then he turned serious while taking over the game from Sunghoon. “Ya Sunghoon-ah, don’t let yourself get bullied in school okay? If anyone messes with you, tell me. I’ll set them straight.” Jiwon said while he skillfully manouvered his character over the obstacles, his eyes fixed on the screen.

“Hyung, I can take care of myself.”

“Sunghoon-ah, this isn’t Korea. The bullies here are worse. Trust me. I had to find out about it the hard way. Besides we’re all older than you.”


“Eojjaessdeun (anyway), they know not to mess with you. Everyone knows you’re my precious brother.”

Sunghoon was touched, but he tried not to let it show. He then joked lightly. “Aigoo, kamsahamnida hyung, waah.. I feel relieved that my brother’s a gangster.”

Jiwon laughed. “You should be. I’m the worst gangster in school.”

Sunghoon smiled, truly grateful for meeting him. He decided to tell him straight.

“Hyung, jinjja jinjja gomaweo..”

Jiwon looked at him in confusion. “Huh? For what?”

“For everything. If it wasn’t for you I’d definitely be lost here..” Sunghoon said sincerely.

Jiwon smiled at him in return. “Nadeu gomaweo… You don’t realize how thankful I am I met you.”

Sunghoon smiled. They looked at each other for a while.

“Hyung, what do you want to eat? I’ll cook.” Sunghoon said after the silence and their stare contest became awkward.

“You know any Korean dish? I’ve been eating a lot of Western already it’s greasy..” Jiwon gratefully answered.

“Okay.. I’ll cook you my favorite samgyetang.”

“You know how to cook that?” Jiwon wondered. Samgyetang need no expertise but the chicken is cooked whole, and there are a lot of ingredients needed.

“Of course! Leave it to me.” Sunghoon said confidently.


“Uhmmm, it looks edible…” Jiwon said, looking doubtfully at Sunghoon’s dish.

Sunghoon laughed. “Hyung, nan middeo, it may not look like it but it’s delicious. Anjasaeyeo..(please sit down)

Jiwon reluctantly sat down. He was still dubious about Sunghoon’s cooking as he looked at the samgyetang. It purely looked like boiled chicken, not too appetizing.

“Hyung…aah…” said Sunghoon as he fed Jiwon a piece of the chicken.

Jiwon didn’t want to embarass Sunghoon, so he opened his mouth to take the food.

“Oh?! Mwoya-iggo?(What is this?)

The taste wasn’t what he expected at all. It was more than delicious, it was savory. He looked at Sunghoon in surprise.

“How did you do that? What’d you put in there?”

“MSG.” answered Sunghoon mischievously.


Sunghoon chuckled. “Nongdam-yeo..(I’m just joking) I put in the usual ingredients.”

“Jjinja masisseoyeo…(It’s really delicious)” said Jiwon as he scooped some for himself and started digging in.

Sunghoon looked at him happily. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Sunghoon-ah, you’re really a cheonsa (angel). Waah.. This tastes amazing.”

Sunghoon: Why does my heart falter at those words? My cheeks feel hot, I’m afraid I’m blushing. My mom would always call me her angel but why does it feel different when Jiwon-hyung says it? It feels more like a term of endearment rather than just a plain name. Aissh.. nae simjang jinjeonghae… (my heart calm down).

“I should call you Hoon-cheonsa from now on..” Jiwon continued oblivious to the fact that Sunghoon’s blushing furiously.

“So should I call you bohoja-hyung (guardian)?” Sunghoon said jokingly.

Jiwon though found it appealing. “Oh, chuae! I’m the guardian you’re the angel! Oohh uri Hoonie-neun senseu chaegu! (My Hoonie’s sense is great!)” giving Sunghoon a thumbs-up.

“It’s too long to call you that hyung.”

“Then you can shorten it, how about hoja-hyung?”

Strangely Sunghoon liked it. “Weirdly, I like it.” he managed to say as he finally continued eating.

Jiwon grinned like a kid. “Of course you would.”

After eating, Jiwon gathered the dirty dishes and brought them to the sink.

“Ya, cheonsa-yah, go rest while I wash the dishes.”

“Hyung, I’ll do that!” Sunghoon protested.

But Jiwon brushed him off. “Ei, you already cooked. I should do this one. I can’t let you do all the chores alone.”

Sunghoon smiled. “Arasseo hyung.”

Sunghoon went into the living room, glad for the warmth the house brought. He got lucky meeting Jiwon here in Hawaii. He knew it was a risk coming here alone to study but he wanted to be more independent and learn to be better. His mom didn’t need more trouble raising two of them on her own. It was a hard decision for Sunghoon, but as the sole man in the household, he felt he needed to experience what it’s like to be alone in the bigger world. He wanted to come back home a better man, someone his mom can depend on.

Jiwon felt peaceful for the first time. He now had someone he could share everything with. He always wanted to have a brother or a sister, it didn’t matter, but his mom found it hard to reproduce after him. Despite growing up spoiled, Jiwon felt something was missing. He only realized what it was when he met Sunghoon. He finished washing the dishes, and joined Sunghoon in the living room who was watching tv. He plopped down next to him on the couch.

“Hoonie-ah, let’s make a promise.” said Jiwon suddenly.

“Eh? What promise hyung?” Sunghoon wondered.

“There’s only you and me here in Hawaii. I want us to promise that whatever happens, we’ll always have each other’s back. And that we’ll support each other always.” said Jiwon seriously. “We’re both outcasts here anyway so just promise me we’ll stick together.”

Sunghoon smiled.  “Of course hyung, through thick and thin I promise.”

Jiwon smiled back at Sunghoon. He put one arm around his shoulders and paid attention to what he was watching.


‘Let’s live happily together Hoonie-ah.” Jiwon said as he patted Sunghoon’s shoulder.

“Nae hyung.”

Jiwon grinned and watched happily as the show progressed. They would have a great time here. He vowed to himself that he’ll guide and protect Sunghoon much like how a guardian should.

He looked at Sunghoon, who was also looking at him. They exchanged smiles, both content to have each other.


The next chapter’s going to be fast forwarded to their later teens where they got discovered. I couldn’t possibly write about their day to day lives for the 3 years they lived together haha ✌✌.  Since this is a Sechskies fanfic I need to put the other members’ perspective to fruition.

Whenever I’m With You by: reynzt15 part 2

Flower Crew by: N_chwa

flower crew.jpg

  • a JyonJin (Jiwon x Jaejin) short story
  • on-going
  • from asianfanfics


A JyonJin stories based on during their times at Flower Crew.

Jaejin knew that this whole idea just screams trouble to him.

How on earth was he paired up with Jiwon on an entertainment show, a travelling one at that!

Well, it should be fine, he suppose. As long as he keeps his feeling for the leader in check …….

It shouldn’t be that hard, right?


Hello everyone!

My name’s N_chwa and thank you for taking the time to read this.

I am a fellow Yellowkies (and SHCJ) and I absolutely adored this pairing.

Although I’m actually stuck between JyonJin and EunKang, but since there are none JyonJin Fic yet. I figured that I would write one for it (just to spread the love~)

Anyway, comments and ideas would be very welcomed so don’t be shy and do comment~!

PS: 1. I’m a newbie writer so please bear with me, ok?

  1. English is not my first language so I don’t guarantee that this fic will not have some grammatical errors.
  2. Do enjoy~


Before the first shooting

Jaejin’s POV

“Aigoo, where is it???”

Jaejin muttered to himself while rummaging through his suitcase. The once tidy pile of clothes are now scattered on the floor.

“Charles~ Have you seen my spare batteries ? Jiwon hyung will surely not bring these kind of stuffs to the trip. That’s his style, don’t you think so, Charles-ah?”

Instead of responding, Charles went inside Jaejin’s suitcase and started to make more mess.

“Aish, Charles!”

As Jaejin opens his mouth, ready to nag at Charles. His phone suddenly start ringing.

“Who could it be?” Fumed Jaejin.

Seeing the callers ID, his face quickly brightened. The caller was none other than Jiwon.

“Jiwon hyung?”

“ Jaejin-ah, what are you doing right now?”

“Aish hyung, packing obviously. Have you forgotten that tomorrow’s the shoot for Flower Crew?”

“Obviously I didn’t, but why are you still packing? It’s already 10 pm. Hyung have already finished packing a long time ago.”

“Knowing you, you’ll probably only brought the necessities. That’s why I’m packing for two right now, for both you and me”

At this, Jaejin heard Jiwon’s laughter from the other end of the line.

“You worry too much Jaejin-ah. Hyung’s an expert at this. I will take care of you, so don’t worry.”

Jaejin’s heart jumped. Sometimes, he will never be able to handle Jiwon’s sudden show of affection. He wondered how Sunghoon had been able to handle it until now. Ignoring his fastening heartbeat. Jaejin immediately snorted at the comment. He knows that fact a long time ago. Jiwon didn’t have to go on reminding him all the time… but still it won’t hurt to be prepared, right? Suddenly, something dawned upon his mind.

“Hyung, have you seen the pilot episode?”

“The pilot episode? Nope. I’m too nervous to watch it. I will know how the show works when I shoot it tomorrow.”

“The confidence of this hyung seriously…. And he said that he will take care of me tomorrow.” Thought Jaejin as he rolled his will take care of me tomorrow.” Thought Jaejin as he rolled his eyes.

“Jiwon hyung, I still have a lot to pack, so I’ll hang up now. Good night”

“Good night too Jaejin-ah. Sleep early, tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

“Alright hyung, bye. Charles said bye too~”

“Bye Charles~”

At this, the line went dead. Jaejin sighed. He was not lying when he said he still have a lot to pack. Thankfully, all the items are already there…. Well except for one, those damn spare batteries.


“Oh, are you stuck, Charles? Here, let me help you~ Oh! Charles, you found it! Good girl~”

It turns out that the spare batteries had been hiding amidst Jaejin’s piles of clothes. He must have had missed it while he was searching for it. Jaejin quickly packed the rest of his stuffs neatly into his suitcase, making sure not to forget the problematic spare batteries.

And so Jaejin went to bed, unable to sleep as the thought of tomorrow plagued his anxious mind.

“I will take care of you, so don’t worry.”

But, somehow Jiwon’s words were more than enough to calm him down as he settled into a deep sleep.

A/N: Uwwaaahhh, my first fanfiction. I’m really sorry if the storyline is a bit slow. But if possible I would like to insert as many JyonJin moments in the plotline. Those subtle sweet moments, I live for them. >u< Lol, just kidding. It would be very helpful if you guys would give some comments on how I can improve my writing and please do tell me if I had make the characters a bit OOC. Until then, bye~



Jaejin’s POV

“Are you two close?” the PD asked.

“Of course, we are in the same group.” Jiwon answered.

“What? Group member?”

“ Is that it? Had their relationship just meant that all this time?”

Had Sechskies never reunited, would he and Jiwon even remain as friend? Were their relationship that fragile? This question had been lingering on Jaejin’s mind ever since the question was asked.

Actually, the morning had been great, he had a good night sleep and actually ate a proper breakfast for once, not fussing over his diet as a precautionary step to prepare for the trip. He met up with Jiwon at the entrance earlier and even formed an alliance together. But, it all had to be ruined by that stupid question.

He know that he shouldn’t be bothered by the question but somehow he is. Everything about it bothered him. The fact that Jiwon answered it without a second thought annoyed him.

Group member? Was that all there is between them? And of course, he himself is to be blame for overthinking it but how could he not?

Oh, it’s none other than because of the stupid feelings that he had for the obnoxious leader. Come to think of it, all of this started because of that stupid apple game, it’s not that he started because of that stupid apple game, it’s not that he didn’t have those kind of feelings towards Jiwon back then but having to stand so close to your secret crush with only an apple as the lone divider didn’t exactly help suppress those emotions.

Nope, not even close, it even strengthens them.

Especially the feeling when Jiwon was trapped under him made him wonder what would happen if that had actually happen in real life. Would Jiwon’s face turn scarlet? Would Jiwon even be able to maintain eye contact with him? Jaejin knew that Jiwon was quite flustered on doing the apple game with him. The proof? He can’t even look straight into Jaejin’s eye during the game.

But, come to think of it, Jiwon is the type to be the one on top, right? Oh well, top or down, he didn’t care. As long as it is with Jiwon.

Great, now he sounds like a love-sick pervert. Jaejin banged his head on the wall.

“ Get out bad thought! *bang* Daydreaming about your leader is not normal! *bang* Fancying your leader is not normal!

*bang* It will never happen anyway…”

Good move, now both his heart AND head hurts. Without a warning, suddenly Jiwon shows up out of nowhere, startling Jaejin.

“Jaejin-ah, what are you doing?”

“Err, nothing hyung, let’s go.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure I saw a bump on your head. Let me see!”

Jiwon starts examining Jaejin’s head, feeling the bump with his hand.

“Ah, hyung. Seriously it’s nothing. Stop it…” Jaejin’s attempt on stoping Jiwon was all in vain. After all, Jiwon was known to be stubborn.

“See! Your forehead is swollen! Nothing, my ass! Yah manager, get me some ointment!” Jiwon yelled to his manager.

“ Tch, how rude. He could just ask for it politely” thought Jaejin.

But even so, he can’t help the blush rising to his face. The sight of Jiwon’s face so close to him is so tempting. Perhaps he should lean closer? Forget about staying in the closet and just gobsmacked Jiwon on the lips? Ah, just thinking about it seems so tempting to Jaejin.

But, no matter how tempting it is, Jaejin know that it is not the right thing to do. Being homosexual had never been viewed positively in South Korea. Should he admitted to it, not only would he be scorned for it, Sechskies would also bear the brunt would he be scorned for it, Sechskies would also bear the brunt of it.

Sechskies….. they waited so long for this, the chance to be on stage together, the chance to be with their fans again, the chance to be together once more. He shouldn’t just selfishly toss away their hard work for his own desire. No, he absolutely cannot.

Mustering up his willpower, Jaejin quickly backed away from Jiwon.

“I said I’m fine. Let’s go hyung, we have to meet up with the others. Won’t want to make a bad first impression by being late, would we?”

Jaejin hurriedly scurried away, not noticing the weird look on Jiwon’s face.

A/N : Ah! Finally the second chapter is out! To be honest, I didn’t really know how to write this one hence the slow update. Lol, sorry. >_< Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy it!

Not forgetting, thank you very much to those who subscribe and commented on this fic! Haha, I will work hard! XD


Love-hate relationships?

So far, the day didn’t exactly go well for Jaejin. He knows that Jiwon noticed his silent-treatment towards him and are trying to figure out the problem. But, what can he do except ignore that oblivious leader of him? If he stick by Jiwon’s side throughout the whole shooting, he won’t guarantees that his feeling will remain hidden.

Up until now, he had been lucky that all of the variety programs that he need to join casted other Sechskies members as well. That way, he could lessen his attention towards Jiwon but now…. He can only pray that he didn’t mess up during the shooting.

As the shooting further on, Jaejin managed to keep his distance from Jiwon. But, under the scrutinizing gazes of the leader, he can’t help but squirm a bit especially when he can sense the leader’s intense gaze on him. The other crew member even keep on stealing glaces at them, wondering just what the heck happened to them. Jaejin hope that the whole shooting wouldn’t have to be this awkward. But, after a while, Jiwon had finally given up on his attempt on staring at Jaejin’s side profile for an answer. He then proceed to converse casually with the other members, asking general question regarding the shooting and whatnot.

In a short matter of time, Jiwon had been able to fit in their social circle, laughing at some of their jokes and even making some of his lame old jokes.That was of no surprise since Jiwon had meet a lot of people in his line of work thus making him able to approach other people easily. Despite his stern looks and evil personality, Jiwon had always been able to attract other people due to his charismatic appeal.

Jaejin had always admired Jiwon because of that. He on the other hand is quite introverted and awkward around other people especially to those that he just met. Surely making friends with the other cast members are going to be hard. Suddenly the whole idea of the shooting itself began to sound unfavourable for Jaejin. Should he just denied the offer since the beginning? But then, he had already agreed to do the shows….

“Ah, I don’t know anymore!!!!!” Thought Jaejin sulkily while kicking the pebbles near his feet…. only for the pebbles to hit one of the main writer at front. Shocked, Jaejin quickly apologizes towards her fully noticing the eyes of the crew members on him. Oh god, he can already sense the heat coming to his neck.

“Ugh, please just ignore me.” Oh how Jaejin wish that the ground would just swallow him whole at that moment.

“Yah, Seho-ah, why is your pant so red today! Are you trying to attract other’s attention?” Suddenly Jiwon asked Seho loudly garnering the attention of the others.

“Hyung, you got it all wrong! This is what a proper attire for mc’ing supposed to be!” Retort Seho.

“Buahaha! I suppose. But you really stands out right now. With the matching jacket and pants.” Laugh Jiwon.

“Hahahaha! You’re right~” The others had join the conversation too and are now relentlessly teasing Seho about his clothes.

The teasing however finally comes to a stop (much to the relief of poor Seho) when it is time to change the shooting destination. As they all began to move, Jiwon sneakily walks beside Jaejin.

“You okay?” asked Jiwon.

“Oh hyung, what do you mean?”

“Just now, you were embarrassed weren’t you” Jiwon smirked.

“No, why would I?” Although Jaejin seemed compose at the outside but on the inside, he was panicking. His eyes keep on darting everywhere unknown to him. Jiwon upon seeing that stifled his laughter.

“Aish hyung, go away!”

“Just admit it, you idiot!”

“Admit what?!”

“That you were embarrassed.”

‘I’m not! And even if by slight chances I were, why would you care?!”

“Yah, Lee Jaejin, that’s not how you’re supposed to talk to your leader and shouldn’t you be thanking me instead?!”

“Why should I? I didn’t ask for your help in the first place.”Oblivious to their surrounding, their bickering had been the focus of two inviduals at that time which is none other than Cho Seho and Yoo Byungjae.

“Those two…. are really close, huh?”

“Are you sure? I just hope that their bickering won’t turn into a fist fight.” Just when those words were muttered, a loud string of curses can be heard.

“That must be Jiwon hyung. -_-” Both of them thought. True enough Jiwon and Jaejin are still bickering, showing no sign of stopping. Every now and then, Jiwon would yell cuss words at Jaejin while the latter continue coming up with a bunch of retorts towards the leader. Although the two continue to bicker, they still stand side by side, arms brushing each other as they walked towards their destination much to the confusion of others.


Jaejin was nervous. Right now, it’s the time he dreaded the most. It’s time to split up the group. He sincerely hope that he would end up in the same team as Jiwon. The silent treatment be damned. Heck, he won’t even mind if they were to be chosen in the muddy road team as long as they are together. After all Jiwon is the expert here whilst he is still a newbie and surely being alone on a different team with none other than Jiwon would only be disadvantageous to him. Not only was he awkward but he’s bound to just spill whatever in his thoughts without Jiwon by his side to scold him.

Jaejin bit his lip, muttering prayers under his breath that Seo Janghoon would not separate them.

However, much to his chagrin. Jiwon’s name were called to the other side, at that time he can’t help but curse at the oldest in the group. He was sure by now that his disappointment must be palpable towards the others as he can spotted the PD smiling apologetically towards him. To make matter worse, the only teammate that he would have is Yoo Byungjae. Yoo freaking Byungjae. Oh god, how was he supposed to be close with this guy. Up until now, he hadn’t even strike up a single conversation with that guy.

Heck, just by what he sees earlier during their first meeting, Byungjae seems like a shy and awkward person too. *sigh* What if there would be nothing worth capturing during their time together as a team? What about their screentime? Aish… it would be bad…. And this is his first time being casted for an entertainment show without his members. He need to set up a good example for the other members like Jiwon-hyung.

Lost in his thought, Jaejin fails to notice his name being called repeatedly. Only after a few quick nudge from Byungjae does he finally realized that all of the eyes present have turned towards him. Startled, Jaejin quickly turned his face towards Jiwon, silently screaming for help.

It’s your turn to pick the transfer ticket, Jiwon mouthed.

Exhaling a breath of relief, Jaejin walk towards the PD and take his transfer ticket. Ignoring the curious stares of others, he carefully picked one of the transfer ticket hoping that by getting the right one he would be able to bring Jiwon into his team. Unfortunately, he didn’t get lucky and only received the faulty transfer ticket.

Curious, he peered to see others reaction, well more specifically Jiwon’s reaction. Most of them including Jiwon sported a stoic features on their faces, some sported an exaggeratively happy face, intending to further confuse others. The recording had just begun, yet the mind game had already been set in motion.

“I better be careful, no one are to be trusted….. well except for Jiwon-hyung”. Recalling the pact between them that had happen earlier in the morning.

As Jaejin looked at Jiwon’s face, their eyes crossed each other. Jaejin saw something twinkled in Jiwon’s eyes. Something sneaky and akin to assurance in those black orbs of his leader.

“ Could it be?” ponder Jaejin.

His line of thought however got interrupted as the PD told them to start moving to their respective vehicles.

As they all readied themselves to go to the next location, Jaejin spotted Jiwon coming toward his direction.

“ Dup dap dup dap-“ Jaejin’s heart began to speed up. Jaejin quickly averted his eyes, making sure to avoid Jiwon’s intense gaze.

“Hyu-“ Before Jaejin can finished his sentence, Jiwon however quickly cut him off.

“Byungjae, can I talk to you for a minute?” asked Jiwon to Jaejin’s only team mate.

“Sure hyung.” Byungjae not noticing Jaejin’s flabbergasted expression complied Jiwon’s request.

Watching the two figures walk away, Jaejin can’t help but feel disappointed. As a feeble attempt to calm his heart and temper, he fumbles the content of his bag until suddenly his hand come in contact with one of the objects that had kept him occupied yesterday.

“Ah, the spare batteries for hyung. Would he need it?” Sparing a glance towards where Jiwon and Byungjae is, Jaejin just huffed in annoyance and quickly put the spare batteries back into his bag.

“Why would he need it, after all he’s the expert.” Said Jaejin quoting what Jiwon had repeatedly said to him.

After the two had finished up their conversation, Jaejin saw that Jiwon is coming towards him again.

“What now. False hope again?” thought Jaejin distastefully. As Jiwon neared him, Jaejin was about to give the leader a piece of his mind for ignoring him earlier only for the leader to cut him off again by ruffling his hair.

“ Yah! Lee Jaejin, don’t be too rude, alright? Watch your mouth and don’t give that poor guy a hard time alright?” Jiwon said as he grins widely unaware of the effect that he had to the other guy.

“Aish hyung. I will say whatever I want and what were you doing with Byungjae just now??? Are you trying to gang up on me?” Jaejin pull his face to a scowl as he try to not sound jealous.

“Stubborn brat, just listen to your hyung for once will you? And I was just giving him advice on how to handle you. Wouldn’t want him to have a high blood pressure after the shoot. After all, you nearly stressed out Jaesook-hyung.” said Jiwon exasperatedly.

“Also, I won’t be with you for the time being so don’t go around making enemies, okay? If I heard any complaint, you’re dead meat!” Jaejin just rolled his eyes at the threat. The threat was nothing new, he had already been used to it by now.

“Yeah yeah, just go. You’re making Janghoon-hyung wait for you again.”

“Fine but mark my word. Don’t make any problem, okay?” Jiwon said as he ruffled Jaejin’s hair yet again before departing to his group.

Althought he was more than aware that someone is calling his name, most probably Byungjae but he just stood there motionless as he watched Jiwon’s silhouette disappearing from his sight.

After making sure the leader is out of his sight. Jaejin finally lets out the smile he had been holding. He then proceeds to touch the spot where Jiwon had just pat him, relieving the leader’s touch.

Jaejin is sure that he must look like a fool right now, well how can he not? Who on earth would be standing in the middle of the road while patting and grining to himself? Yep, definitely look like a fool, a fool in love that is.

“Jiwon-hyung is worried about me~” Jaejin gleefully thought to himself. If not for the fact that he was not alone, he would have shouted the sentence right now and then, but oh well he have an image to keep. But still, he can’t help but to hum happily as he walked to where Byungjae is, fully noticing the weird looks that the younger guy is giving him. Oh well, screw him, if he wants to hum, then hum he shall. Bearing that in his mind, he just continue his act, not caring what the younger guy would think about him.

Byungjae upon realizing that perhaps this is one of of Jaejin’s unique traits just shrugged it off.

“Come on hyung, we have a plane to catch.” Byungjae said as he get into the car.

“Wait, plane? Crap, crap, crap, did he bring it? Jaejin thought as he fumbled with the content of his bag.

“ Hyung, what are you doing?”

“Byunjae, what should I do? I left my wallet and my identification card at home.”

“You what?!”

A/N: Hey there, it’s me again. So sorry for the late update! Apart from writer block being the reason, the other reason being that I was too busy reading other’s fanfiction instead of focusing on my own. I know I know, it’s all my fault. But honestly, there are sooooooooo many good stories out there, I can’t stop reading them. *o*

But, do not fret, I will not abandon this story! Althought I may not update it constantly… huhu, sorry… T_T

Also, what do you think of this chapter??? Was it too long and boring? Sorry if it didn’t meet your expectations but if you guys have any comments and suggestion, feel free to do so at the comment section~

Also, this is the first time for me to write this long for one chapter, fuh. ^^’ I’m nervous~

And not forgetting, thank you very much to those who subscribe and commented on my stories! ^^ For the silent readers too, thank you for taking the time to read my fic~

Well then, that’s it from me, till we meet again. Have a nice day everyone~

P/s : sorry for the sucky title, but I can’t think of anything good right now. *brain-dead lol*

Midnight Drink by: lumienarc

midnight drink.jpg

  • a JyonJin (Jiwon x Jaejin) short story
  • completed
  • from asianfanfics


Eun Jiwon asked Lee Jaejin to come to his place for a drink one night. Jaejin had plenty to think about because of it.


Lumienarc Hanayuki, suddenly, at your service.

I have been a fan of Sechskies for some time now, and I am particularly attracted to the leader because he has my definition of perfect voice that I have been looking for my whole life (no, I am not kidding). Honestly, I have never written any fanfics for Sechskies before, but I think I should… one day. I didn’t know it would be this quick (lol) I had planned to write other story, but it will take months to finish, so here I am.

About this story, I was rewatching Flower Crew episodes in which Eun Jiwon and Lee Jaejin were still in the cast, and I just couldn’t help the JyonJin feels that hit me. For the record, I ship EunKang, hard, but manly men relationships are something I can’t resist. And honestly JyonJin does have best chemistry, don’t you think?

Precautions are needed should anyone feel uncomfortable with mentions of alcohol drinking and smoking, but I promise you that there will be nothing more than mentions of those. I didn’t even write Eun Jiwon’s foul mouth the curses (lol).

It’s purely fictional, so don’t let it bother you, and it has homosexual undertones, or we commonly include under the term “bromance”, but nothing too extreme. Probably ones who expect more should step back (lol).

Also, this is quite short, so you will have to excuse me if this doesn’t satisfy you.

P.S. I just realized that I should have written something to celebrate our leader’s birthday, but I only do what I am capable of, so… I’m terribly sorry, milord. But still, happy G1 Day, Yellowkies!

*does the ONE of A KIND gangsign repeatedly*

A Night in Yeouido

Eun Jiwon-hyung 2 mins ago

Jaejin-ah, let’s have a drink at my place.

It was almost midnight and Jaejin was busy preparing himself to sleep—beauty routine was essential for him ever since Sechskies reunited. Tonight he chose carbon-based night mask that scared people off. He had just walked out of the bathroom when he saw his phone’s screen flicker and a message prompt was on top of it. He didn’t expect this at all. He pondered deeply, grabbing his hair while being careful not to ruin his beauty mask before the minutes were up.

“What’s this all of a sudden?”

Lee Jaejin was known for asking people out at the oddest times, indeed, and he acknowledged it, but being invited as random as he usually did to others was quite strange. Specifically, asked out by the leader was uncommon for him. Usually when he wanted someone to drink with him, he would ask them to some place and he would end up nagging to the end of the world—Suwon warned them all—therefore, sometimes, he would be extremely nice and caring and he would spoil anyone who was drinking with him, and for Jaejin personally, it was the worst of all possibilities.

Honestly, Lee Jaejin was not used to being spoiled by his life-long leader, not even the slightest, it somehow disturbed him. In his memory, they were always bickering although not always fighting. He knew well enough how stupid and stubborn Eun Jiwon could be, but he also knew no one could possibly escape from the subtle endearments of one gentle and caring Jiwon once he decided to do so. It was nice as much as it was unexpected the first time anyone experienced it—it defied common expectations of most people upon meeting him anywhere.

Lee Jaejin could not understand how Sunghoon lived this long being such a baby brother to Jiwon and given countless sorts of endearments along the way. Jaejin was used to fight and bicker against the inanity and headstrongness of his leader, his relentless nagging but he couldn’t endure the kindness—his heart couldn’t.

Twenty years of knowing each other had damaged the barrier Jaejin built unconsciously around himself because of his peculiarity. Eun Jiwon just slipped into the slightest crack and the next second Jaejin realized, he had already been there since as natural as oxygen in air. It was ironic that Jiwon knew him inside out better than any friends he ever had in his life although in reality he could not seem to be in agreement with Jiwon most of times. The leader always found faults and held nothing back whenever something was not of his standards and Jaejin’s ideas were often contrasting his, especially in terms of artistic. Even so, Jaejin couldn’t win against him (most of times) and he knew far too well that Jiwon did know what was best to do most of times, too.

He sighed deeply and mourned, “What to do?” repeatedly. His black kitten climbed into his lap, purring against his stomach. Automatically, Jaejin’s free hand came to pet the cat. His mind was still floating away from real world, though. He didn’t tell anyone some things about his depressing years after his flunked solo project and the death of his parents. During those years, he was only happy whenever he saw Jiwon on TV, especially with the rest of the members slowly retracting themselves from stage life as well (Suwon and Jaeduck were still appearing from time to time, but not as often as their leader). Stupid Eun Jiwon and his childish character was his main entertainment aside from taking care of his nephew.

He had said once that he didn’t trust the leader fully despite Jiwon’s level of confidence that he would listen and follow Jiwon. He was baffled, seemingly, but he had his reason not to trust the leader from time to time—that was why they argued a lot. Expressing his lack of trust was a way to declare his independence, his freedom to choose and decide for himself, and his beliefs as a man in democratic country—some people would tell him that this was nonsense because he trusted Jiwon too much without failure anyway. To Jaejin, exhibiting his devotion to the leader verbally was borderline dangerous and unwanted. It was best for him to show how committed he was to Sechskies and Eun Jiwon by actions for he knew Jiwon would never be able to notice what lied beneath it—what his actions truly meant—because that man’s skull was as thick as stone, just like most men.

“Charles, what should I do? Hyung asked me to drink with him. Did he ask other guys? Should I call him first?” he asked the cat worryingly. He wouldn’t mind if it was just the members and people Jaejin also knew, but Jiwon knew too many people—he couldn’t help but feeling worrisome. As he was pondering, his phone buzzed. Jiwon was calling him by the number—he suddenly regretted giving his new number to the leader.

“Yes, Hyung.”

Lee Jaejin could not ignore his call. It might lead to worse situation.

“Yah, aren’t you going to reply, Lee Jaejin? Just say it if you don’t want to,” Jiwon blasted. This was as normal as breathing. Jaejin was flustered because he hadn’t come to any conclusion so far.

“Sorry, I was just thinking, Hyung. Are you going to invite the guys?”

“Eh?”—Jiwon sounded surprised and offended slightly—“No. Why would Hyung invite other guys so late in the night?”

Hyung asked Suwon so late too before,” Jaejin said, unknowingly pouting.

“Aish,” Jiwon groaned, “You asked Kim Dongwan to eat dumplings at one a.m. why can’t Hyung ask you around the same time? You are the weird one. Come on, you always ran away whenever Hyung mentioned drinking. Come and drink with your hyung here.”

Jaejin could not decipher the meaning behind Jiwon’s words, howsoever it got into him. His imagination soared and wandered, assumptions and predictions were made although he was sure most of things he truly wished for would be ones disposed in reality. He smiled brightly at Charles, who absolutely had no idea what was going on.

“Yah! Lee Jaejin! Did you just ignore me? Yah! You’re alive, aren’t you?” Jiwon’s angry voice woke him from his state of daydreaming. He just realized that he hadn’t been answering Jiwon for quite some time. He immediately apologized.

“Aish, we are not doing video call right now. Hyung can’t know what you do. Now, are you going or not? Don’t nod—Hyung can’t see it, remember?” Jaejin was nodding right on time, too, but he was giggling.

“Yes, yes, Hyung, I’ll be there soon,” said he to avoid more nagging.

“Okay, good,” Jiwon said, sounded pleased, “Hurry up, Jaejin-ah, Hyung’s waiting.” His kind brother mode was on again and it was easily identified by the tone of his voice. It warmed anyone’s heart, but it also brought distraught to Jaejin’s fluctuating mood.

“Should I change?” was the first thing that came into his mind.


Jaejin was drowned too deeply in his own world despite currently walking into the parking lot and supposed to find his car. He unintentionally ignored Yoo Byungjae’s greeting as they unexpectedly ran into each other. The neighbor wasn’t surprised anymore with the antics of the peculiar Lee Jaejin, but he was still hurt by the fact Jaejin didn’t even realize that he greeted him. Actually, he began to worry because he witnessed his senior repeatedly bumped into various cars long before he found his.

Hyungnim, are you okay?” the neighbor decided to ask, touching Jaejin’s back carefully. Jaejin jumped slightly, turning around nervously to see who touched him just now. He glared at the bearded man for a moment, judging wordlessly.

Hyungnim, you are not going to punch me, are you?” Byungjae asked, taking a couple of steps backwards for precaution.

“Oh, Byungjae-yah, I didn’t see you,” Jaejin said as casually as possible.

“We met in front of the elevator, Hyungnim. I have been trying to greet you repeatedly. I was worried because you didn’t react at all.”

“Oh, sorry. I was thinking,” Jaejin answered.

“I see,” Byungjae said. “Are you going out? It’s almost midnight.”

“Oh, yeah, I am going to Jiwon-hyung’s house,” innocently Jaejin replied. The neighbor was surprised although it wasn’t uncommon among friends to go out at night.

“Right now?”

“Yeah. See you around, Byungjae-yah,” Jaejin concluded their conversation urgently, noticing he had taken ten minutes since he left his flat. “Hyung’s waiting. He will yell at me if I take too long.”

Yoo Byungjae could not do anything about it. He simply nodded and stepped further back.

“Yes, Hyungnim, take care. Send my regards to Jiwon-hyung.”

He ended it politely as usual. Jaejin quickly nodded and climbed into the driver’s seat, ready to leave.


Entering Eun Jiwon’s flat on the 34 floor of a Yeouido apartment building with a magnificent ocean view, Jaejin noticed something was completely off. Jiwon distractedly welcomed him and then went to grab the beers from his fridge. One could only wonder when a man who was born prepared for anything without preparing decently, someone like Eun Jiwon, suddenly had midnight snacks ready on the table—enough for a group of friends. A man who chose not to get out and eat alone outside or in his parents’ house, and starved himself before filming a travelling variety show episode, even slept for 40 hours because of it, would not bother do things like this.

“Are we going to have a party, Hyung?” Jaejin asked; astonished yet bemused by the thoughts of other people might come crashing any time now. He imagined that Jiwon would come up with excuses, such as that he got all those from a friend or neighbor, and he could not finish them all on his own so he called Jaejin over, but Jaejin didn’t understand that he had been underestimating his leader’s honesty and bluntness too much.

“No,” Jiwon bluntly answered, putting out two bottles of beer and a pitcher of water, and preparing two glasses next to it. “Hyung bought the snacks before flying back home. The chicken was ordered after you said you’re coming. Hyung thought you would like some snacks, like chicken. Hyung’s a bit hungry, too.” He gestured Jaejin to take a seat as he took the bottles out of the kitchen. “Hyung missed you, Jaejin-ah. Every time Hyung saw the scenery in China, Hyung thought of you. You would be able to take many pictures there.” Jaejin didn’t know what to say. He wanted to retort, but his brain suddenly stopped working. He knew for years that his leader was open about his feelings for others, but he never said anything like this to Jaejin before. Maybe it was because they were too busy bickering whenever they met.

They sat across each other and drank. It was easy once they started, eating and chatting.

Jiwon knew what topic he could hold with Jaejin and when to stop. Jiwon told and showed Jaejin places he went during his recent trip to China. Jaejin saw and marveled at the pictures.

He interrogated Jiwon about various spots and the fares to go there. He was greatly envious and secretly wished that he would have gone there with the variety expert, somewhere exotic and fresh, together and rarely separated unlike the other and only show they had been together.

Walking side by side with Jiwon up a hill or sailing on a boat, doing games he might not be able to handle anyway—anything seemed to be better than what he experienced previously.

“Why did you miss me, Hyung?”

The question was spilled unintentionally. He didn’t exactly want to ask, but his inner thoughts were unrestrained. Jiwon looked at him—glared, surprised. He put down his bottle and leaned back. He sighed deeply.

“Why can’t I miss my brother? You are my brother, aren’t you?” Jiwon said, then his tone raised, “I even told the whole country that I missed Jiyong some years ago. Why wouldn’t I tell you that, too?” Jaejin made a face, not satisfied with the answer.

“But Hyung and Jiyongie were close. You two teased each other a lot back then. Of course Hyung missed him. Saying Hyung missing him is like saying Hyung missing Sunghoonie. No one missed me that much. People resent me,” Jaejin said, resisting. Jiwon pulled his head back, closed his eyes, and sighed again.

“Yah! Don’t say things like that!” he yelled. “People missed you. Why else did they ask about you before our reunion? Aish, don’t be so negative, Lee Jaejin. Hyung missed you just as others. What do you think of your leader, aish, Lee Jaejin!” Jiwon naturally cursed, but it was almost inaudible. Jaejin felt hot out of embarrassment and unwanted feelings he got from hearing Jiwon’s words. He fanned his face by flapping his hands.

“But—but, Hyung, our opinions always contrast each other. We always argue.”

Jiwon sighed loudly again. “Arguing is healthy, you know that? Had I kept quiet, it would mean I care very little about it. You know Hyung nags because Hyung cares, right?” Jiwon demanded.

Jaejin nodded anyway, but Jiwon finished his third bottle and pulled out a pack and a lighter.

“I’m going to the balcony.”

“Wait a minute, Hyung,” Jaejin urgently called, “Do it here.”

“Eh? Why? You don’t like the smell, do you?” Jiwon stopped in his track to answer. While his answer was on point, Jaejin was stubborn in his peculiarity.

“No, but if Hyung stays on that side, I won’t smell it at all.”

“Heeeh,” Jiwon groaned in disagreement, “It will leave smell if I smoke here. Just be

comfortable, Jaejin-ah, Hyung won’t be long. It’s no one else’s house—it’s your hyung’s house; just do whatever you want.” He left before Jaejin could try to convince him.

He felt strange. It wasn’t his first time visiting this flat, but it was as foreign as first visit right now. He was alone in the living room, two boxes of chicken emptied and packs of snacks almost finished. Lucy was a quiet, white furball on a small bed at the corner of the room, sleeping soundly. Jaejin suddenly concluded that Jiwon spent too much on toys after surveying the room. The only good thing about those toys was that he kept them untouched—they would cost a fortune in the future. Bored after a while, he went to the balcony. Drinking alone was definitely pathetic and not enjoyable.

“Why are you here?” Jiwon asked as soon as he opened the glass door. He put out his

cigarette immediately, annoyed but not angry.

“I don’t want to be alone, Hyung,” Jaejin answered right away, leaning on the balustrade leisurely. Jiwon snorted.

“You’re weird, Jaejin-ah,” said Jiwon. “You like to be alone usually.”

That was true, but Jaejin knew, as everyone who was close with Jiwon, that Eun Jiwon suffered the most should he be forced to be alone. He could not handle loneliness at all—Jaejin knew that was why he adopted Lucy.

“It’s better with Hyung,” he innocently answered before he could think twice about it. Jiwon stared at him for what it seemed to be the longest time, without blinking. He reached out to Jaejin and firmly gripped the back of his neck, pulling him close and giving him tight hug. Jaejin didn’t like skinship with men—he repeatedly said he hated it—but he had no problem doing it with Jiwon. Not at all. It was one of his secrets, one he wouldn’t wish anyone to know. Some things he said were actually told to conceal the truth, but people did not have to know. Jiwonhyung did not have to know—never. He returned the hug with racing heartbeat. It was always nice to hug this man and hide everything away.

“Knew that you missed hyung, too, Jaejin-ah,” said Jiwon gently, patting Jaejin’s hair with one hand and back with the other. Jaejin could not help but hum in subtle agreement. He might have imagined it, but he felt that Jiwon had brushed his lips against Jaejin’s hair, kissing it lightly. Jiwon pulled away and avoided eye contact. He immediately prepared to go back in, somewhat distractingly.

“Do you want something stronger? Hyung wants to drink strong one.”

Jaejin nodded and tailed behind. He surreptitiously held his heart, speculating yet trying to get himself back to the ground—he couldn’t keep his hopes up. Jiwon was fairly reserved when they were in the living room again. They talked and drank, laughed together uncontrollably, until Jiwon called the night. It was a strange night.

“You can sleep in this room, Jaejin-ah, if you want to stay. It’s too late to come back home now.”

Jiwon opened the door to the spare room next to his own. He looked extremely flushed because of the alcohol he drank. He went to the bathroom and fell asleep nearly as soon as he hit the bed. Jaejin spied, mind was half wasted by alcohol, but still his head was clear enough to understand his idea was bad. He tiptoed towards Jiwon’s bedroom.

It was easy for him to go inside because Jiwon didn’t lock his bedroom door, not even closing it properly. He slipped next to Jiwon; far enough from touching the man, but his weight alarmed the owner of the bed. Despite had fallen asleep earlier, Jiwon woke up; grumpily looked at the intruder.

“What are you doing, Jaejin-ah?”

“That room is too clean for me to sleep, Hyung. I don’t want to clean it up in the morning,” said Jaejin, as usual.

“You don’t have to clean it up,” rejected Jiwon vehemently. “What do you think of Hyung? Of course Hyung won’t make you clean up a room. Go sleep now, Jaejin-ah, aren’t you tired? Your eyes are red.” Jiwon pushed Jaejin and pointed at the direction of the spare room, complementing his words. Jaejin wouldn’t budge.

“Ah, fine. Sleep here if you want,” said Jiwon, surrendering the thought of sending his little brother away. He fell onto bed and began to sleep again. Jaejin stared at Jiwon’s wasted face without blinking, pondering if what happened earlier at the balcony was real or not.

Hyung, saranghae,” he muttered.

Nado, Jaejin-ah,” Jiwon answered, mumbling in his half-asleep state. He patted Jaejin’s bottom without opening his eyes, murmuring huskily, “Sleep, sleep.” He rolled to his side and curled up into a ball, body fully protected by blanket. Jaejin turned to his back, staring at the ceiling. He slowly closed his eyes.

Even though Jiwon’s answer might not mean anything more than casual reply—they spent years of their lives telling people around how they love them, it had since lost the depth whenever aimed to friends especially same-sex friends—Lee Jaejin was fine with it. Definitely better than nothing. One night together in Yeouido, a hug, and casual bromance lines were undoubtedly good enough for Lee Jaejin.

I’m sorry. I don’t really know why I wrote this. Ah.

From the actual peculiar creature who lives in that building, 13F that actually is 12F, number 03:

Lumienarc Hanayuki

Morning Coffee

I don’t know why, but I suddenly wanted to write a continuation. Just a 5.5k piece of oneshot, of course. Before anyone gets too worked up, the rating M is for nudity and hints of non-child-friendly activities (lol), but no real R-rated action explicitly shown (my forte, but no, I don’t want to taint you all with my perversion). Anyhow: “Aromatic morning coffee and the fresh kiss that wakes me up in the morning…” Here we go.

Morning seemed to come abruptly into Lee Jaejin’s half-conscious body. He jerked into awakening—forced, one could assume by looking. This one was an early bird who woke up along with dawn, but the one holding him down by the torso wasn’t. He jolted again as soon as he rubbernecked and saw the reality of his morning in a place that wasn’t his—a bed that wasn’t his.

“What are you doing, Jaejin-ah?” naturally the grumpy voice protested his recurring electrified body moves. Eun Jiwon pulled his fellow Black Kies closer, pressing his knee to Jaejin’s inner thigh without any hint of guilt or intention to stop any time soon, which perhaps was the cause of Jaejin’s incessantly growing bewildered look.

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Jaejin asked; his voice cracked. It was his first speech of the day after tiring midnight drinking and snacking, certainly it bounded to be a bit uneven, not to mention the shock from waking up to this kind of arrangement hadn’t ceased until this second.

His leader hummed and rubbed his face on Jaejin’s shirt-covered shoulders. The muscular younger man’s eyes went even wider than ever as his pale complexion suddenly tinted with the colour of dawn and dusk. Jiwon mysteriously sat up, releasing the baffled man in one go, then looking at him with drowsy eyes and grouchy just-wake-up face—his bed hair was as messy as always. He had his arms on his each leg, bent his back leisurely, and blinked like a baby for a moment. When Jaejin just continued to stare back at him, still with perplexed and befuddled expression, Jiwon opted to stretch his body and yawned.

“Do you want seaweed soup for breakfast, Jaejin-ah?” he asked casually, “Hyung’ll make some. There’s brisket beef, too.”

“What are you talking about, Hyung?” Jaejin wasn’t able to decipher what was truly happening at the moment. It was obviously too peculiar even for a peculiar man like him, judging by how he was now looking at the other man from whence he lied.

“Wait, Hyung will prepare some,” Jiwon said regardless the actual reaction he received. He wiped his sleepiness away and mumbled, “Ah, need to make rice first too. Clean up when Hyung’s preparing, okay, Jaejin-ah.” He crawled out of the bed, straight to the bathroom, yet Lee Jaejin at the same time was only staring, wide-eyed, from where he had been sleeping all night.

He came into his senses right after he heard, clearly, the sound of stove being turned on. Jaejin jumped off the bed and bolted out of bedroom just to make sure that his hearing was still normal. Therefore, upon finding the truth, he could not be more puzzled and amazed. He actually witnessed Eun Jiwon in his own kitchen, cooking something that wasn’t instant food. Jaejin’s jaw hung agape. His reaction showed how unexpected this was.

“Wash up, Jaejin-ah, this will be ready shortly,” Jiwon said, pouring hot water to previously cut dried seaweed in a bowl. Jiwon, then, sluggishly put the measured rice and water into his rarely used rice cooker, ignoring Jaejin’s shocked look.

“But, Hyung,” Jaejin’s mind halted midday, “this…?” He was tongue-tied. Jiwon leered; his face was as grumpy as ever.

“Go, Lee Jaejin, go,” he commanded, waving his free arm to complement it. He moved to retrieve the cooking pot for the soup as soon as the order was said.

The leader had spoken, so they said. Thus, Jaejin as a mere member must comply. He found an untouched, newly bought toothbrush by the sink. It was all black except for the shocking blue trail along the body—reminded him of himself, somehow, because of his history with blue hair-dye. He stared at it for quite some time while held on to his heart. This was beyond strange, he murmured at one point, but he didn’t even realize that he said it because by the time, he discovered that the toothbrush was labelled with his name, and Jaejin knew the handwriting. Surely, it was none other than Jiwon’s. He slowly touched the brush, wrinkled the package first, but then he loosened his grip as if he had hurt someone for a brief moment.

“What does this mean?” he pondered.

“Jaejin-ah! What took you so long? Come on, let’s have breakfast. Hyung has schedule in a couple of hours,” Jiwon called from the kitchen. Apparently Lee Jaejin was lost in his mind for quite some time.

“Yes, Hyung, a moment please!” Jaejin called back, hurriedly tearing the package and proceeding to brush his teeth. He washed his face first using Jiwon’s facial foam, even applying moisturizer before he actually made it back to the dining table by the kitchen.

Jiwon was waiting for him patiently, against expectations as always, drinking a cup of black coffee as usual. A bowl of hot seaweed soup and a bowl of radish kimchi were ready on the table. Jaejin groggily took the vacant seat across Jiwon’s, where a cup of orange juice was placed instead of coffee. At his questioning look, Jiwon said—

“You should drink healthy stuff, Jaejin-ah. Hyung can’t go on without coffee first thing in the morning.”

“Thanks, Hyung,” Jaejin muttered sincerely.

He took a sip of the juice and then immediately prepared to eat. Jiwon put down his coffee and started first. They ate normally. Jiwon was as usual mothering Jaejin, telling him to eat more kimchi and even taking out a box of stir-fried dry anchovies because Jaejin didn’t eat much—assuming that the little brother wasn’t satisfied with the food despite his lack of statement about it. In the end, Jaejin finished everything.

“I’ll do the dishes, Hyung,” he said as soon as they were done.

“Let’s do it together, Jaejin-ah. How could Hyung let a guest do dishes on his own?” Jiwon proposed unlike his infamous image as an older person monopolizing his right upon younger guys. Jaejin was left shocked again.

They were doing the dishes side by side the next moment. It was distracting, as Jaejin found it hard to focus because of their incessant shoulders and arms brushing. Jaejin didn’t realize he was all jittery and unstable until he dropped a bowl, let it shatter on the floor. He panicked and urgently begged for mercy.

“Aish, Lee Jaejin,” expectedly Jiwon roared, but the following response was nothing more than one of a nagging but caring mother, “Step back. Hyung will clean it first. Look out, don’t step on the pieces, okay, Jaejin-ah.” He, then, disappeared to get a broom and dustpan, diligently cleaned up the shattered pieces of bowl, but not before paying a visit to Lucy who was still lying lazily in her bed.

“Hyung…”—Jaejin’s eyes were fixed on Jiwon—“Hyung-ah, what is happening?” Jiwon absentmindedly put the shards into bin and answered:

“What do you mean?”

It was impossible to perceive what he actually thought from his expression.

“This. You are not your usual self, Hyung,” said Jaejin bluntly, stammering a bit.

Jiwon stared at him blankly. He shrugged. He put aside his broom and dustpan, and went back to finish doing the dishes. Jaejin was closing in on him, and he didn’t even try to shove the younger man even slightly. He just did the dishes calmly. Jaejin looked more distraught and distant as time went by. Jiwon didn’t expect, at all, that once he dried his hands, Jaejin would lean up and land a kiss on his lips. Jaejin was shocked by himself, leapt backwards, avoided showing his face to his leader.

“I—I’m so sorry, Hyung. I… I will leave now,” he stuttered, voice full with fear. He tried to leave, but Jiwon pulled him back.


“No, Hyung, please, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Really, really sorry. Please, please, Hyung, please, let me go. Please,” Jaejin begged, nearly cried.

Jiwon grabbed his jaw and pulled him. Jaejin froze as his lips met Jiwon’s again. He gasped slightly and closed his eyes tightly. His hands firmly grasped Jiwon’s shirt. Jiwon pushed him to the wall, kissing Jaejin properly like a lover relishing the yearning for the other. They gasped for air briefly, exchanging stare, before then they locked lips again, meeting each other midway.

“Jaejin-ah,” Jiwon’s husky whisper was heard. Jaejin whimpered; voice suddenly unfamiliar, absolutely unlike his masculine shell, even stranger than his normal cute speech. Jiwon hastily let him go, apologized, and left him there.

“Hyung… wait! Hyung, wait!” Jaejin called breathlessly. He immediately chased the older man, but the other vanished behind the door of his bedroom. “Hyung, Jiwon-hyung!”

The door was opened as soon as he knocked. Jiwon wouldn’t look him in the eyes, though. He shoved Jaejin’s belongings into his chest. He forcefully pushed Jaejin towards the front door, telling him to go. He opened it and gently pushed one confused Jaejin out of his apartment. He murmured again an apology and an excuse that he had to prepare for his schedule. The front door was shut before Jaejin could utter any word for himself.


He was begging at this point, unknowingly—pathetically. He clutched his chest, eyes glassy. He had lost his capability of holding up his designated smiling face right now. Jaejin breathed heavily, palpitating. It was a miracle he could make it to his car after all that occurred to him since he didn’t even know where he was going, bumping here and there.

“What do I do?” he cried, holding his hair in frustration.


I Wait for You

I am waiting for your return
Please come back to me
I wish he comes back to me
He should have come back earlier to this flowery road

The acrostic poem written for the first night voting of the show where he was cast suddenly resurfaced in his memory. It was a poem he wrote for Jiwon, but as expected the leader missed it, completely oblivious. Jaejin could not distinguish anymore if Jiwon actually understood or not, that man was a good actor when he wanted to be. Lee Jaejin had no idea what he must do now. His heart was heavy. He didn’t know what happened back there, but he was sure that Jiwon didn’t do it impulsively and without purpose. He just knew—but he was scared, terrified, that this would change everything. He kept everything to himself because he didn’t want anything to change.

4 hrs ago   Me
Jiwon-hyung? Are you angry?
I’m sorry, Hyung.
4 hrs ago   Me
3 hrs ago    Me
Please, tell me. Please.
2 hrs ago    Me
I’m sorry, Hyung.
30 mins ago    Me
Please, don’t be mad at me.
5 mins ago    Me
Hyung, please.
I’ll draw Hyung as compensation.
2 paintings.

“Jiwon-hyung isn’t answering my messages,” Jaejin lamented. He had been obsessively checking his phone ever since he was home. He sent another message, a deal that only Lee Jaejin would offer at this kind of situation, but it seemed that nothing would bring the reply he yearned the most, now that he opened the messaging app again and saw no new message was received.

“Why am I so stupid?” Jaejin said repeatedly as he banged his head on the table.

He should be at the university now, continuing his project. The professor had sent him several messages, but Jaejin’s head could not decide anything until the time Jiwon’s reply arrived. This, however, continued up to a week. Jaejin could not even eat, but he was still nurturing his cats without failure.

His phone flickered and at once he leapt to see who was calling. He turned incredibly sullen seeing his sister’s name on show. He didn’t even count how many times Eunju had tried to reach to him today. All he had in his mind was Jiwon’s reply. The next second after his sister’s call ended, another call made it to his phone. This time, Kang Sunghoon’s name came up. It was the first time Sunghoon called him in a while and that fairy seldom gave him a ring since they didn’t hang out together much, so he was considering picking it up for a moment. Maybe he could get some clues if he talked to Sunghoon—after all, Sunghoon was one of Jiwon’s oldest friends. When thinking about it, however, Jaejin felt unexpected boiling envy inside his gut. Didn’t their fans pair Sunghoon with Jiwon? He was suddenly bitter, but perhaps he wouldn’t have another chance, so he ended up pressing the answer button just a few seconds before the call was supposed to be cut off.

“Jaejin-hyung! For a second I thought you wouldn’t pick up my call!” the vocalist’s voice barged into his weary eardrum immediately. Jaejin just sighed. This person sat and stood next to Jiwon most of times. Jaejin couldn’t express his envy enough, but he must endure for now.

“What is it, Sunghoon-ah?”

“Eh, what is it? What is it, you asked, Hyung?” Sunghoon’s voice increased its pitch due to the exponentially rising level of disbelief he had right now. “You haven’t gone out from your house for a week, Hyung. Even your sister called us to ask about you. We heard you don’t eat well, too. We are all worried about you!” Jaejin looked down, feeling guilty.

“Is Jiwon-hyung worried, too?” involuntarily the question was out. Sunghoon let out another exclamation of disbelief.

“Of course he is!” Sunghoon exclaimed. “He is worried about everyone the most. He won’t stop asking about you.”

Jaejin’s heart clenched tightly and his eyes turned blurry. His lips formed a thin smile. The phone was dropped to the desk’s top as he broke down to tears, crouching on the ground. It was the greatest relieving news he had received this week. He could hardly breathe. He took a moment to let it out and then he was back to the desk, this time sitting.

“Sorry, Sunghoon-ah,” he said weakly, not wanting to show that he had been crying.

“Hyung,” the man across the line called gently, “are you okay?”

“Yes, I am now,” Jaejin answered right away, holding back his bursting feelings that begged him to wail some more. He could imagine Sunghoon’s pretty face adorned with bright smile aimed at him, knowing eyes accompanying the beam. It was enough for Jaejin to calm himself a bit.

“Hyung,” the dubbed flower boy said even gentler, “please eat well.”

“Yes, thank you, Sunghoon-ah.”

Just an hour after he ended the conversation with Sunghoon, someone was suddenly at his door. He assumed that it must be his sister and perhaps nieces, given information that he was now okay, she might come over and give up calling. He hardly felt any burden walking towards front door, but his heart nearly popped out of his chest when he saw the person waiting before the intercom. Eun Jiwon was standing impatiently there. Jaejin was conflicted. He was afraid to face the leader for he felt terribly guilty even until now, but he could not wait to hug his beloved and treasured friend again.

“Yah, Lee Jaejin, open the door!” Jiwon said through the speaker. “Are you going to let Hyung stand here all day? Don’t you know Hyung’s knees are not well these days?”

The refreshing wave washed Jaejin’s worries altogether as soon as the usual Jiwon made his appearance. It cured his fear. He opened the door and stood extremely still, doing nothing but fixating his eyes on Jiwon’s equally weathered ones. Jiwon stepped in and closed the door for Jaejin. He pulled Jaejin into a hug.

“You might be an outcast, but you can’t make Hyung worried sick like this, Jaejin-ah.”

“But Hyung never messaged me!” Jaejin’s protest was instantly spilled. Tears rolled down his cheeks. The feelings were too overwhelming. He hugged Jiwon tighter.

“Yes, Hyung was afraid. Sorry, Jaejin-ah,” Jiwon answered. “Come, eat with Hyung.”

Reluctantly, Jaejin let Jiwon separate them and dragged him by the wrist towards his dining table. The leader laid down boxes of food on the table, passing the chopsticks to Jaejin and refusing Jaejin’s offer to prepare drinks for both of them. He instead did it for them as if it was his house and he weren’t a guest.

“Hyung lost weight,” Jaejin commented between eating. Jiwon leered at him, eyebrow raised. Obviously he wasn’t impressed by the comment.

“Have you looked at the mirror?” gruffly the older man said, pointing his chopsticks at Jaejin briefly. He wasn’t finished with his outburst. “Your face has more loose parts than before. Do you still use your facial masks before going to bed? How could you buy Charles’s food diligently, but not yourself? You are doing well with your projects, but how could you not answer your own sister’s call? Even Suwon got worried—that robot! Aish, forget it, just eat, Jaejin-ah.” He brushed it off automatically and returned to his meal instead, stunning Jaejin who failed to follow the flow.

“I’m sorry, Hyung, I’m really sorry,” Jaejin said, looking down. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Good you are sorry. Now you have to apologize to—…”

“I meant that morning. Hyung hasn’t said anything about it.”

“Oh? What did you say?” Jiwon was suddenly stunned. “That morning? You mean you don’t know what you were thinking and yet you kissed your hyung like that?” Jiwon glared angrily at Jaejin, causing the supposedly host shrink in fear.

“I… I…”

Jiwon cut him off mercilessly, “I know what I was thinking when I kissed you back, but you don’t?”

Eun Jiwon had stopped his endearing tone altogether. It caused Jaejin to heat up out of embarrassment and rage from being judged so harshly. He looked even lower down, unable to decide what he had to do now. Whatever he said right now would only anger Jiwon. He knew because Jiwon had put down his chopsticks.

“Jaejin-ah, look at me. I won’t forgive you if you don’t look at me now,” Jiwon firmly stated, tapping his forefinger at the table to emphasize his solemn intention. Jaejin had no other available option than to do as Jiwon said. He lifted his eyes, locking stares with the other man. “Did you mean it when you said you loved me, Jaejin-ah? Did you say it as in brotherly love and then followed it with a brotherly kiss? Tell me and don’t dare looking away right now, Lee Jaejin.”

This was unexpected and frightening. Jaejin shivered although he wasn’t cold just a moment ago. This situation had never occurred before. He wanted to find a cave and live there forever. Any abandoned house with bugs and dusts or jungle was much better than his comfy house at the moment. He wanted to run away—he was best at running away—and leave Jiwon here without any answer from him. Jiwon, as if reading his thoughts, pressed Jaejin’s end of thigh with one hand, effectively preventing him from fleeing. Again, Jiwon had proven himself as someone who understood Jaejin best whatever he said out there.

“Hyung, I’m dying over here. You are evil. Hyung is a villain,” Jaejin managed to say, eyes pleading involuntarily.

Jiwon should laugh evilly as per usual, but he kept his grim face, making the younger squirm on his seat. Jiwon’s intense gaze removed all what Jaejin knew about Jiwon the past two decades. He wasn’t playing right now, no elementary kid playing emotionally unstable before Jaejin. This was a grown-up Eun Jiwon initiating a grown-up talk, and it was unbelievably intimidating.

“Jaejin-ah,” Jiwon started.

“You were the one who didn’t take my words seriously, Hyung!” Jaejin manoeuvred quickly, shifting on his seat, masking his nervousness with long-buried anger.

“What are you saying?” Jiwon yelled. “I meant my words! Why would I lie about loving you, Jaejin-ah? When I say I do, then I do!”—Jiwon glared hotly at him, pointing at Jaejin—“Yah, don’t divert the conversation, you are supposed to answer me! It’s just the two of us here; you have no reason to be shy about things like this.”

“Charles is here,” Jaejin countered, turning to the innocent kitten that had been playing on its own until now. Jiwon strengthened his grasp on Jaejin’s knee, visibly trying to hold back his laugh.

“Heeeih, Jaejin-ah, we are not talking about that now.”

“If Hyung says it first, I will say it,” Jaejin challenged instead, unwilling to let this slide easily. He would not want anything to change between them. He must keep the secret with him to death. Jiwon would turn this down and surrender, Jaejin was sure. He saw the leader lean back on his chair, sighing while looking at the ceiling. He was having an inner conflict, too.

Jiwon, against the expectation, straightened his back and leaned forward, boldly facing Jaejin. Their knees bumped each other. He said, squarely to Jaejin’s face, “You don’t know, Jaejin-ah, that there are times Hyung wants to seal your mouth and eat your reckless statements for the sake of our team and Hyung’s sanity. You know that?”

Jaejin froze. What did that mean? Seal his mouth? Eat his reckless statements? Like, what? Literally? But that would mean… Jaejin’s mouth was agape. His mind had logged out.

Jiwon sighed loudly again. He finally removed his hand from Jaejin’s thigh, but Jaejin quickly grabbed it firmly. Jiwon pulled it harshly as he attempted to stand up. Within a split second, they were both on their feet, fighting wordlessly. Jiwon kept swatting Jaejin away, but he stole chances to seize Jaejin’s wrists while at it. Jaejin’s cats stared at the humans, and then they dashed to the next room as soon as they were falling to the floor. Jaejin hit the floor first with Jiwon on top of him. It was a total mess—one of the chairs fell over them, too. Jaejin felt a bit dizzy, but his head was okay, something protected his neck.

“Jaejin-ah, are you okay?” Jiwon urgently asked. He was distancing himself from the younger man, confused and worried.

Jaejin understood by then that Jiwon had instinctively put his hand at the back of Jaejin’s head and neck—it was somewhat familiar and foreign at the same time. He was in a daze. He didn’t know anymore what kind of situation this was, but he did know that he would kill to snog with Jiwon right at this moment. A wave of uneven hot and cold sensation washed over his body, head to toe, at once he surrendered thinking. There were angry movements, quick and forceful, from both of them; arms and fingers fighting against other’s arms and fingers. Jiwon pushed Jaejin’s arms out of the way while Jaejin just wanted to grab fistful of Jiwon’s shirt. It was a wild moment that would perhaps leave marks on their skin.

“Lee Jaejin, stop trying to rip Hyung’s clothes or Hyung will have to make holes on your pants,” Jiwon warned, unable to overpower Jaejin by strength. Jaejin gave up easily right after, not because he listened to the threat, but because suddenly he lost all his power, flicked off like an electricity button, when Jiwon accidentally touched his chest.

“Hyung, please wait—wait, wait,” he pleaded.

His face was red. Jiwon grinned as if he had just found a new toy. He freaking laughed as he wrestled Jaejin’s desperate hands that came to prevent him from touching his chest again. Jaejin kept begging so pitifully that Jiwon finally stopped and gave mercy. He climbed off Jaejin and swiftly stood up, dusting his clothes coolly. He repositioned the chair to where it was supposed to be, then he reached out a hand to help his dear member up, but the later only stared at him in disbelief.

“What? You said wait, right?” Jiwon asked mischievously. “Hyung won’t go against your will, of course. Come on, the floor is not for lying down.”

“But, Hyung…”

Jaejin took the hand, but he was not happy with the fact Jiwon stopped doing whatever he did just a moment ago. He was pulled to his feet, bumping the leader naturally in the process. Jiwon moved away automatically, just as how it was in their normal interactions. Jaejin firmly held Jiwon’s hand.

“Let me go, Jaejin-ah, the food’s cold now,” Jiwon said naively. Jaejin’s mind was racing. His frustration had to end now or he would lose his mind forever. He let go off Jiwon only to take off his shirt, dumping it carelessly on the floor. Jiwon’s eyes went wide.

“What are you doing?” he asked, baffled by the sudden turn of event. Jaejin would not open his mouth—too embarrassed now that he had made the first move. He shouldn’t have—he regretted it again and again. He wished the ceiling would fall on him right now because the humiliation was too much to bear. He didn’t expect, though, that Jiwon’s next sentence was, “That’s not where you’re supposed to put your clothes. You’re supposed to strip in the bedroom, Jaejin-ah.”



The clock showed that it was now seven thirty in the evening and lights had gone out. The ones occupying the room judged artificial lights were not yet needed at the moment. Bed sheet all tossed and pulled about the bed, the cover and blanket were thrown to the floor carelessly accompanying pieces of clothes, and certainly there weren’t two men lying on the bed completely naked. The one with leaner built moved away from the other sluggishly, leaving bed.

“Where are you going, Hyung?” the well-built man asked, like a child afraid to be left alone by his parents.

“Finding my clothes,” the other said gruffly, picking up what seemingly was his underwear. He put them on as soon as he found them, but the other man stopped him from wearing any other layer of clothes, not even a shirt.

“Don’t dress up yet, Hyung,” he pleaded, holding the other’s arms from putting on the found shirt.

“What? Hyung’s going to eat now; of course Hyung has to wear clothes, right?” The tone of the voice sounded angry, but it was actually just normal speech.

“I still want to see Hyung’s body.” The peculiarity of the still naked one was beyond normal person’s comprehension. The older one sceptically stared at him.

“Why would you want to?” he yelled, stepping back, successfully freeing his arms from the other’s grasps. “Hyung doesn’t have muscular body. Do you like seeing this skinny body?” He spread his arms, showing off what he called skinny body. The other man laughed loudly and nodded innocently, positively saying yes to the question. Classic Lee Jaejin, a mind that was always hard to follow—although in this case, certainly the yellow pebbles were in agreement with him without any slight of doubt.

“Hyung’s not skinny,” Jaejin denied, closing distance between them again. He hugged the precious older man, resting his head on his shoulder. Eun Jiwon could only sigh and accept the embrace. He patted the bare back of his peculiar band mate.

“Is your back okay?”—Jaejin nodded—“Neck? Head?” All replied with lazy nods.

“Hyung’s knees are okay?”

“They’re okay for now. Come on, Jaejin-ah, let’s eat and then sleep. Put on some clothes first.”

They reheated the food from earlier and then they ate. Jiwon protested Jaejin’s choice to only wear underwear, lecturing him about being properly clothed when eating his meal, just a classic nagging mother Eun Jiwon. The situation was strange beyond recognition. What was this? Why were they eating dinner together after spending some hours wrestling on Jaejin’s bed? Jaejin’s mind was in a state of chaos—his body, too. His hyung was so chill about this, even acting as if they had just slept together on a bed without doing anything else.

“Hyung,” Jaejin called meekly once they were done cleaning up. Jiwon hummed, picking up an abandoned paper bag by the table that Jaejin hadn’t seen until now.

“Here, Hyung forgot to give this to you last week,” Jiwon said, handing the bag. Jaejin accepted it and immediately peeked in. “Some souvenirs from my previous trip. Everyone has got theirs except you. Should’ve been the first one to receive it, though.” Jiwon endearingly patted Jaejin’s butt. “Can Hyung stay for the night?—Aish, have you any spare sheet? You need to wash this one tomorrow!—Oh, hi, Charles, sorry Hyung woke up.” Jiwon’s voice went from warm neutral to irritating nagging gruff to toddler speech in one succession.

“Hyung, don’t wear shirt in bed,” Jaejin protested later when they finally back in bed, ready to sleep.

“What do you mean don’t wear shirt in bed? Hyung needs to wear clothes to bed! What if Hyung catches cold in the middle of the night?” countered the elementary kid Jiwon.

“I’ll keep Hyung warm,” offered Jaejin, although he seemed to be choked by the cheesy words he himself had just said. Jiwon laughed.

“Nah, Hyung’ll keep the shirt on,” he said, positioning himself to the most comfortable spot he could have right now. He put a hand behind his head and took a deep breath, ready to doze off. Jaejin kicked his leg. “Aish, Lee Jaejin, Hyung’s old, don’t damage Hyung’s leg any further,” jokingly Jiwon whined.

“I’m old, too,” Jaejin said shortly. He scuttled to Jiwon’s side.

“We’re old now,” Jiwon agreed. “I wonder how the Shinhwa guys keep it up all these years. I guess not stopping has everything to do with it.”

“Hyung should exercise with me. Hyung’ll be better soon.”

“In YG building?”


Jiwon was silent for a moment. He, then, added: “Hyung needs to lose some weight again, too.”

“Just gain muscles, Hyung, better for health. Hyung’d look bad being skinny. Just leave it to White Kies to keep skinny.” Unknowingly Jaejin just jabbed their fellow band mates. Jiwon chuckled.

“Does Hyung ever look good at all?”

“Hyung’s handsome. Hyung’s most popular among us,” Jaejin said. As usual, the man wouldn’t take it well. He shook his head and denied the statement.

“Aish, that’s not true.”

Charles made his way up to bed somehow and graciously chose Jiwon’s stomach as bed. He curled up and fell asleep there in no time.

“What’s up with this kid?” Jiwon asked, caressing Charles’s smooth fur. Jaejin peeked briefly, and then he flopped back to his spot, knowing his kitten was safe and sound.

“Charles likes Hyung so much.”

“Do you like me as much as Charles?”

Jaejin was incapable of answering the question, tight-lipped now. He was terribly embarrassed to admit it. He didn’t want to see Jiwon’s smug face that came upon view because of his confession—his tongue turned to lead.

The elementary kid trapped in an adult body took the initiative to prod into conclusion without waiting more than ten seconds after the question was delivered, “Oh, of course Jaejinie likes me more than you do, right, Charles-ah? He won’t say it to Hyung because Jaejinie is a shy guy, but even you know it, right?”

“Ah, Hyung!” Jaejin wailed, Jiwon laughed. Would they ever get any sleep tonight at this rate? Thankfully, they needed sleep, so they didn’t play around too much.

“Hyung, will anything change between us?” Jaejin curiously asked before his mind drifted away to dreamland.

“Why should anything change? Nothing has changed much between us, except we do stuff in bed together that is not just sleeping,” coolly Jiwon answered. Jaejin was extremely worried despite the older one’s reassurance.

“I won’t be able to keep my face straight, Hyung.”—his concern was beyond this time.

“Just do your female hoobaes obsession thing as usual. It will work just fine.”

Jaejin’s smile grew instantly and his eyes lightened, he liked the obvious and easiest solution proposed by the witty king of variety shows, and said, “Oh, that’s a good idea-ing.”

Jiwon cringed inwardly, but he looked used to it—well, he was used to it, he even was immune to Sunghoon’s super-mega-extra cringe-worthy aegyo. He was the leader for these reasons, indeed.

“Are you not in love with any woman, Hyung?” Jaejin, again, came up with a troublesome question. Jiwon was not entertained.

“Hyung’ll hit you if you really expect Hyung to answer.”

“Am I a substitute?”

Lazily, but still full with raging emotion, Jiwon responded, “Hyung will hit you twice, Jaejin-ah, when Charles is not sleeping on my stomach. Hyung loves you.”

“Then, what position Hyung likes the most?”

“Yah! Lee Jaejin!” Jiwon’s patience burst. Jaejin apologized, but he was still giggling without any trace of contrition. Jiwon, once calmed down, said, “Hyung likes whatever position will make you squirm the most.”

Jaejin rolled to his stomach, placing his chin on Jiwon’s chest. He asked while in that odd position, “Are your knees going to be okay, though, Hyung?”

“Aish, think about it when we are doing it, Jaejin-ah,” Jiwon protested with slight hint of blush on his tanned face. Jaejin giggled and moved away to sleep on his belly next to Jiwon, who kept cajoling him, “Sleep now. Sleep. Charles is sleeping now. Hyung’s tired.”

“Good night, Hyung.”

“It could be early in the morning already.”

“Aish, Hyung…”

And, lo, the night went on till dawn approached with the two snored, chasing away their weariness together.

Not Mine by: esca

not mine.png

  • a JyonJin (Jiwon x Jaejin) short story
  • completed

I stared unblinkingly at the TV. Beside me on the couch, the sound of Sunghoon’s deep breathing indicated that he had fallen asleep. Couldn’t blame him though…it was a really boring movie. On the screen were a man and a woman, standing amidst falling snow as music of string orchestra played in the background.

“I love you. Please don’t leave me.”

“Sorry… I don’t love you.”

The C-titled movie with its third rate dialogue rolled on as I remembered the very same word spoken in another time…in what seemed like another world.


His silky black hair came almost to his chin, contrasting with his pale face.

Cold….that was the impression I always had when I saw Jaejin…but even more so that day. The white snowflakes on his hair had looked warm compared to his pale translucent skin and expressionless midnight eyes.

“I love you,” I confessed. Rather last minute, I knew…but I couldn’t let him go like this.

Jaejin had merely raised his eyebrows as he waited for the train that would take him out of my life forever.

“Please…please don’t leave me.” I hated the desperate tone that entered my voice.

“Sorry. Don’t love you. Have a nice life, Jiwon.”

It had not taken much for Jaejin to leave me. A new job offer in another city…

Nothing complicated like another love in his life. And I knew that if I followed him, he would not have done more than raise his eyebrows. He was…like that… But what good would have come of it?


I woke up to bright sunlight and even brighter smile from Sunghoon.

“Jiwon hyung~!!! I made breakfast~!!! Your favorite omlette~!!! Wash up, k?”

I half grinned and half grimaced as I pushed myself off the bed. Delicious aromas wafted from the kitchen as I quickly washed my face and got dressed. Sunghoon was waiting for me with a steaming cup of coffee and a large platter of food.

I took a sip of the coffee… Like a child, I had always hated bitter tasting things and drank coffee with two spoons of sugar and cream. The coffee that Sunghoon had presented me was brewed and mixed to perfection.

Sunghoon smiled with sparkling eyes as I sipped the coffee.. and I had no choice but to smile back at him. Sunghoon blushed and lowered his eyes to his own cup of coffee… mixing in a spoonful of sugar and a bit of cream.

I guess I’d never really thought of how Sunghoon likes his coffee. One teaspoonful of sugar..and just a little cream..enough to give the coffee its typical opaque brown color.

But Jaejin’s coffee had never been opaque..


He never ate the breakfast that I made. The first thing Jaejin had done when he got up was make a cup of weak black coffee…so weak that it looked more like tea than coffee. He would mix a bit of cold water to cool it and drink it in a glass cup instead of a mug.

He never made enough coffee for both of us.. He never boiled enough water for two people. Just one cup…and he would drink it while I tried to coax him to eat breakfast.

“Jaejin…. You’re getting thin. Why don’t you eat something?”



“Don’t feel like it..”

And he would leave for work as soon as he finished the coffee…leaving me while I was still eating… Still, I tried to get him to eat breakfast with me every day for the two years that we lived together…but no luck.

I wondered if he even knew how I liked my coffee..


It was raining really hard. Sunghoon snuggled closer to me as we sat on the couch, watching another boring late night movie.

Suddenly, the lights and the TV went out.. A blackout?

“Hyung~” Sunghoon’s trembling voice called out to me.

I smiled in the dark. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the dark.”

“Of course I am~~ .”

Holding him by my side, I walked to the cabinet where we kept our candles.

Getting a few out, we lighted them and put them on the kitchen table.

“This is kinda romantic.” Sunghoon said, smiling at me.

His eyes shone warmly in the candle light. I walked to his side of the table and place a chaste kiss on his cheek. Blushing prettily, he buried his head on my chest as my arms went around him.

We stood there…holding each other. I thought that perhaps…just perhaps, it was time for me start forgetting about Jaejin. I wasn’t sure how long that would take… But…

Maybe…it was enough to have Sunghoon in my arms…and my life could be complete.


We hadn’t been surprised when the black out had come. The crusty apartment we lived in had been shaking from the thunderstorm all day.

“Jaejin,” I called in the dark.

As another lightening hit, I could see his silhouette as he sat on the floor, looking out the window.

“Do you know where the candles are?” I asked him.

“Don’t bother. It’s late anyway…” he said.

It was…like that… He was so comfortable in the dark that he never sought me out.

We sat in the dark.. It wasn’t really that late. Only 8:30.. Time passed slowly…but I remember being happy to just watch him as he sat there…even thought it was only for the few seconds that I could see him whenever the lightening struck.


Sunghoon snuggled to me trustingly on the bed. His soft hair tickled my cheek as I hugged him close. I could tell from his breathing that he wasn’t sleeping…and was expecting me to do something.

We had never had sex. I knew that if I wanted to, he would be more than willing. Perhaps it was that willingness that stopped me. I didn’t want to have sex with him just because I could – I wanted to make sure that I really wanted him.

Like the time I had with Jaejin…


Jaejin came home and promptly fel l on his bed. I glanced at the clock. 2:30am….

“I thought your shift finished at midnight?”

He didn’t answer…and that wasn’t unusual. But for some reason, it had really gotten me that day. Maybe being ignored for a whole two years of loving him had finally gotten to me. I grabbed his hair and pulled his head off the bed.

“Jaejin, you bastard. You think I’m not even worth answering?”

He grimaced.

“Let me sleep. I’m tired.”

His head felt heavy as I lifted it up. He wasn’t resisting at all even though I knew it must hurt to have his hair pulled like this.

I pushed my hands underneath his stomach and started to unbuckle his belt.

He didn’t move an inch. I pulled his pants off.

It was when I started to pull at his boxers that he spoke, his voice muff led by the bed.

“What are you doing?”

His voice sounded so calm…as if he was asking about the weather or some such nonsense.

“I’m trying to debauch you.”


I pulled harder on his boxers and stared at his white butt cheeks… Just looking at them was making me hard. I ran my index finger down his right cheek, feeling its softness. And warmth. It struck me strange that he would actually feel warm to touch.

I spread his legs wide and ran my finger down between his buttocks. Finding his small opening, I pushed myself into it. He grunted a bit as I impaled myself..but that was all the reaction I got from him.

When I finished, he was still lying immobile on his stomach. I put my hand under him to see if he had come. His penis was flaccid and dry.

I hadn’t known whether to laugh or cry. The bastard had dared to fall asleep in the middle of his own debauchery.


Sunghoon looked so pretty in his white hip-hopish clothing, licking on his cherry ice cream.

We had decided to spend the day shopping…for our wedding. In two weeks, we were to have a little ceremony in front of just few close friends…pledging ourselves to each other.

It was going to be pretty permanent this time…and I guessed that I was happy enough.

I had almost let go of Jaejin in the last six months that I’ve lived with Sunghoon. It was difficult to forget him…but his thoughts didn’t cause overwhelming pain and feeling of dejection as they used to. It was better this way…being with someone who loved me enough to spend the rest of his life with me.

Sunghoon was chatting brightly about something or another…and stopped.

“Jiwon hyung~~!! Isn’t that Jaejin hyung?”

I whirled around to see where Sunghoon was pointing.

It was Jaejin. Wearing a black shi rt and black jeans…

My heart started to beat harder than it had in the last six months.

“Let’s go say hello to him~!” Sunghoon said, smiling.

Sunghoon didn’t know that I had loved Jaejin. No one did…since we had never spoken one affectionate word to each other.

Jaejin was waiting for the lights to change at the street lights and Sunghoon ran to him, dragging me by the wrist.

“Jaejin hyung~!!!” Sunghoon yelled out.

Jaejin turned around slowly.

“Hey Jaejin hyung~! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you~!!” Sunghoon claimed enthusiastically as Jaejin watched us without any expression.

“Did Jiwon hyung tell you? We’re getting married in a couple of weeks. Could you please come?”

Jaejin lifted an eyebrow at me. I couldn’t face his steady gaze so I stared at the tip of my shoes.

“I’ll come,” he said, “if Jiwon wants me to.”

Startled, I glanced up to see him walking across the street. He had never cared what I wanted before..

It was then that I saw the truck headed towards him. I ran to him…I ran harder than I had ever done..and as I reached him, he turned. For a split second, we stared at each others’ eyes…and his eyes seemed to say something….


I locked the door, took a shower and lied on Jiwon hyung’s bed. I could never share this bed with him again…and tears fell from my eyes.

I sobbed quietly…having lost my voice from the last four hours screaming Jiwon hyung’s name.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw a notebook on the table by the bed. His diary… He had never allowed me near it..and I always had to reassure myself that he wasn’t hiding anything from me. Everyone was entitled to a little privacy…

Now… I was invading his privacy…the privacy of the dead.

There was a little lock on the diary and I wrenched it open, breaking a little of the cover.

January 25, 19**
Jaejin came back from visiting his family. 
He’s gained a little weight and it relieves me. 
If only he would eat my cooking a little more... 
I always thought I had been a good cook until we started living together.

February 3, 19**
He got yet another job. I think Jaejin really wants to work 
his way to his grave... I can’t stop worrying about him.

February 7, 19**
I found a little gray hair on Jaejinie. 
I asked him if I can pluck it out...but he didn’t answer as usual...

There was a little white hair stuck between the pages and I wondered if it was Jaejin hyung’s. It was strange… Almost every entry was about Jaejin hyung.

I flipped a through the pages when I came to something that made my heart stop.

October 8, 19**
I think I love him.

October 9, 19**
I can’t stop thinking about him. I see Jaejin everywhere....

October 20, 19**
To him, it’s like I don’t exist...

After that…there was nothing about Jaejin hyung in the diary. Just mundane stuff about work and people he’s met. My name appeared once in a while… just once in a while…

I closed my eyes as I laid back on the bed, putting the diary back on the table.

Was that why? Was that why he had to leave me? To save Jaejin hyung?

What did he think? That he could provide protection against a Mack truck?

And now that they were both dead…what was I supposed to do? Wish for them to get together in after life?

He had probably known that I was just nice enough to wish them together. I hugged his pillow as uncontrollable sobs escaped me.

Hyung… I wish you’re happy. With Jaejin hyung…..


If someone asked me what my life was like… I would probably say that I was tired. That I had been tired all my life…

I ignored everything that made my life more complicated… but Jiwon was difficult to ignore, no matter how I tried.

I guess it would have been hard for him to understand what it’s like to have a mother and sister to feed…without even a proper highschool education. He lived in my run-down apartment by choice, even thought he could afford a mansion. I did not.

Still, pride is one of the last things to go in a poor…and I refused when he asked me if he could get us a better place to live.

I really didn’t know he would stay in that hole with me for two years… Rich kids like him usually find better things to entertain themselves.

He cooked me breakfast every morning…and although I was hungry, I never ate it. It was just too nice to hear him whine and coax me into eating something…and I was afraid that once he achieved his goal, it wouldn’t interest him any more…

And he drank his coffee with two spoons of sugar and cream.. Watching him mix his coffee was something I did every morning…it gave me a sense of mundane stability…something I wanted more than anything. Stability….

He always watched me. Sometimes in little shy glances…and sometimes in angry glares. Other times… well… if someone asked me to define the word ‘lust’, Jiwon’s gaze would have been the first thing to come to my mind.

The day he took my virginity…I was very tired. The usual four hour s of sleep a day…plus my sixteen hour work day..plus over time because my co –worker was sick.

He wasn’t very gentle about it. I had always thought that my first time with him would be something magical… something that would make me forget about the harsh realities.

Perhaps I still believed in fairy tales…but it didn’t happen that way. It hurt very badly…and I fainted.

Strangely enough, Jiwon seemed disgusted by the fact that I had ‘fallen asleep’ on him.

When I got a job offer from Pusan city, I decided to take it. It was closer to where my mother lived..and she was not in the greatest health. Not that I’ve told Jiwon.

Jiwon told me he loved me…on the day I was leaving. I tasted bitterness in my mouth as I thought… ‘it’s rather late…isn’t it?’

I don’t remember what I said to him. Something emotionless, I’m sure. I never learn….

Still, I almost expected him to follow me. He didn’t.

I guess I found out why six months later. Ha… Love me, my ass.

He was marrying a beautiful white creature… He never offered marriage to me… Would I have agreed? I guess I would never know.

I just felt the overwhelming urge to disappear…and not see all the happiness that I could have had… His love that I had almost thought to be rightfully mine. How wrong I was….

I walked away… and then… I heard him shouting my name. I turned around to see his face inches from mine as he tried to push me away.. and I resisted.

Jiwon… If things had been different… I could have loved you…


-The End