- a Jinnie fanfic
- Volume IV of Sechs Kies Volume Stories
After Jae Jin yield’s his one and only love to his best friend, Jae Duc…
“Flight number 405 has arrived. All passengers must….”
‘Great! I’m finally back in Korea after all these years….’ SungEun smiled to herself as she picked up her baggages. She couldn’t wait to see her old friends, and of course, her older brother SungHoon.
‘So my oppa is a famous singer now, eh?’ The thought itself just fascinated her. She now had a chance to see the Korean celebrities for real, and what’s even better, SungHoon had told her that all of the 6Kies members were mad fine~~!
‘Gee, I know it’s January, but it’s freezing here! Unlike in Hawaii….’
KangSungEun had been living in Hawaii since she was 11. She was 18 now, ready to attend HongIk University, majoring in art. Her parents were still in Hawaii and they told SungHoon to look after her, if that was ever possible with his busy schedule. But her plan was to live with her best friend from childhood, MinHee.
“SungEun ah!! Over here!”
A familiar voice yelled as she walked out of the airport building. It was a guy who had sunglasses on and a wore baseball cap. She almost didn’t recognize him.
“SungHoon…. oppa?!?! Oh, my God!! It IS you!!!”
She dropped her bags all at once and ran to him.
“Let me see you! You’ve grown so much in 3 years, SungEun!” SungHoon hugged his little dong-sang tightly as she ran into his arms.
“Oppa, I missed you so much.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Guess who else is here!” He said in a teasing manner, pointing at the guy standing behind her. She turned around and screamed in joy.
“JiWonee oppa!! You are here too!” She then ran to hug JiWon.
“Shh! I don’t want people to recognize us!” said JiWon.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here first!” agreed SungHoon. All 3 of them then got in JiWon’s car. SungEun was so excited. She was finally back!
[Sechs Kies Home]
“Hey, you guys!” SungHoon stepped into the room as he shouted. It caught JiYong’s and SuWon’s attention immediately. The first thing they saw was a… a… girl?!
“SungHoon, who is that? Your girlfriend?!” asked JiYong jokingly. SungEun’s face crumpled up.
“Eww! Sick! I’m his sister from Hawaii! There goes your first impression….”
JiYong stepped back, embarrassed. Everyone started laughing.
“Oh~ so you are ‘SungEun’ he was talking about… nice to meet you, I’m SuWonee” SuWon offered his hand for an acquaintance. SungEun shook it.
“Hey, where is JaeJin and JaeDuc?” asked JiWon.
“Oh, JaeJin’s at a practice hall. Trying to figure out new moves for our 4th album, I guess. And you know, JaeDuc’s with EunJu,” replied JiYong.
“Aww, does that mean I won’t get to meet them? That sucks!” SungEun whined and SungHoon patted her shoulder.
“It’s okay, we have a concert in 5 days and I’ll give you a pass. You’ll get to see them then, okey-doke?”
“Alright. You are the best, oppa! I better go now. I promised MinHee to meet her soon so we can check out my new place. Nice seeing you all, bye for now!” SungEun waved her hand and cheerfully opened the door and walked out.
[5 days later, at the concert hall]
“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Jeckie!! Jeckie!! Jeckie!!”
‘Geez, these girls are so annoying! I’m trying to hear the songs here!’ SungEun grumbled. She couldn’t hear a thing cuz all the girls were screaming their lungs out. She gave up and decided to entertain only her eyes. Then she saw….
She saw the most amazing scene in her life. This guy on the stage, part of Sechs Kies, was breakdancing like crazy!
“Whoa~ who is that? His body moves like water! DaNg~~!!!!!”
She couldn’t help but to focus on him. She felt as if some mysterious power was pulling her…. her heart started beating faster and faster. She then knew that it was a form of love she felt… with this guy who she hadn’t even seen before until now.
[After the concert; backstage]
“Oppa~ you guys were grreeeaaattt!!!!!” exclaimed SungEun. Her eyes wandered around the room, trying to spot that guy she just fell in love or wutever with…. she finally found him resting in the corner. She poked SungHoon,
“Oppa, what’s his name?”
“Oh, him?! Hey, JaeJin hyung! Come here for a sec, wouldya?”
JaeJin lifted his head up, noticing that SungHoon just called his name. He walked over to him.
“Hyung, this is my sister I told you about, KangSungEun. This is LeeJaeJin, our power dancer. Over there talking to SuWon is JaeDuc-ee hyung, our another power dancer.” SungHoon pointed at JaeDuc as he explained.
“Hi.” JaeJin smiled lightly. SungEun’s face blushed. He was even finer up close! She observed his face carefully. He was incredibly handsome… especially his eyes were exceptionally gorgeous. She then suddenly heard someone whining…
“EunJu didn’t show up!” It was JaeDuc, of course.
Annoyed, JaeJin turned around and shouted back, “Oh, be quiet, JaeDuc. You know she doesn’t like to come to concerts.”
“But she promised that she’d try to make it tonight!” JaeDuc continued to whine, “you are just jealous cuz you don’t have a girlfriend!”
‘He doesn’t have one yet? That’s even better!’ SungEun couldn’t help but to smile to herself. ‘Does this mean I have a chance?!’
JaeJin turned back and noticed her smiling. His eyes grew big. He then said to her,
“You know what?! You smile just like SungHoon! It’s really cute… maybe I should call you ‘bang-geul-ee’ just like your brother…”
SungEun stared at the ceiling as she laid on her bed. She sighed happily.
‘Bang-geul-ee? Hmm— oh, he said I’m cute when I smile! Heehee…’
She then thought about his eyes, how beautiful they were. But they seemed so sad. She felt as if she looked deep inside them, she’d start crying because his eyes were very saddening….
‘LeeJaeJin….’ SungEun then fell asleep slowly.
[Few days later, 6Kies home]
Sechs Kies got some free time for few days. Afterwards they’d need to get started on recording songs for their 4th album.
“How should we spend this golden opportunity, you guys?” asked JiWon.
“We should go skiing!” exclaimed JiYong. He loved skiing and January was the perfect time for it.
“Ya! Are you crazy?” said SuWon, “I don’t wanna spend my day-off at a death camp! What if fans recognize us? We’ll be skiing the hell for our lives!”
“That’s a good point,” commented SungHoon.
“Hey, how about this? Let’s go ice skating! We can reserve the Lotte World ice rink all to ourselves for one day! If we have enough people, that is…” said JaeDuc.
“Let’s see,” replied JiWon, “there’s us six, manager hyung, codi noona-deul, staff members, our dancing team DMC… oh, and we should invite SungEun too, so that should be enuf! Ice skating it is, yea!”
“And Duc-ee’s wife, too!” added JaeDuc. JiWon sighed then mumbled, “Don’t even start, KimJaeDuc.”
“What do you think, JaeJin hyung? You’ve been sitting here without a word,” asked JiYong.
“Oh, yeah, it’s a good idea. It sounds fun…” replied JaeJin. He then thought to himself, ‘As long as EunJu’s going to be there…..’
JaeJin knew it was wrong to keep on liking her. But he couldn’t control his feelings. The more he saw her, the more love he felt; each time it grew stronger.
‘But she’s not mine…. she never will be!’
This thought was enough to drive him insane. He often regretted yielding her to JaeDuc, that he didn’t fight to have her. He didn’t realize at that time how difficult it’d be, trying to erase her from his heart.
’16 years of one-sided love isn’t too fun, I guess…..’
“You can’t ice-skate, JaeDuc?!” asked EunJu in disbelief as JaeDuc was trying his best to maintain balance on the ice. “How can you dance so well and not be able to ice-skate?”
“My body moves like an octopus, that’s why, now…..ahhhhh!!!!!!!!” JaeDuc fell on his butt once again before he finished his sentence.
“Hahaha!” JaeJin laughed when he saw JaeDuc falling down on the ice.
“SHUT UP! LeeJaeJin, you are not any better than I am, if you don’t remember the ‘star docu’ three years ago…ahhhhh!!!!!!!” shouted JaeDuc then he fell again. EunJu and JaeJin laughed.
Sechs Kies was having so much fun that day. They haven’t had a free day in a long time. JaeJin refused to ice-skate because he couldn’t… instead, he was on a bench talking with SungEun.
“Who is she??” asked SungEun to JaeJin as she pointed at EunJu.
“EunJu…. she’s my best friend, besides JaeDuc,” answered JaeJin quietly.
SungEun looked at EunJu and JaeDuc. She then exclaimed, “Ohhh~~ they are the two lovebirds you guys have been raving about!!”
“Yeah…” replied JaeJin.
“They seem to like each other a lot,” said SungEun.
‘You are telling me that, alright,’ thought JaeJin. ‘if she didn’t like him back, I could’ve had a shot at her. That’s the reason why I gave her up… they liked each other.’
Why does he look so sad? Thought SungEun. When she asked him about JaeDuc and EunJu, JaeJin’s expression on his face seemed so full of pain and hurt.
EunJu got off the ice and took her skates off. She then walked towards JaeJin and SungEun after putting her shoes on. JaeJin’s face lit up.
“Hey!” said JaeJin. “Having any fun??”
“Oh, yes!” replied EunJu with a huge grin on her face. “It’s just that JaeDuc is iceskating on his butt, so I decided to come and chat w/ you instead.” She then put her hands on his shoulders and started swinging him back and forth.
“Oh, say hi to SungHoon’s sister, KangSungEun. Don’t they look alike??” said JaeJin. “Oh, for real?? They do look alike!! Hi, I’m SeoEunJu. How old are you??”
“Hey~ I must be your un-nee then. I’m 19.”
SungEun reluctantly smiled. For some odd reason she did not like EunJu…. it was only the first time they met, but SungEun knew that she was not going to like this girl already…….
[Few months later]
BEEP BEEP BEEP
JaeJin’s pager went off. He took it out and saw the name displayed…. he let out a big sigh.
“Ya, JiYong. Let me use your handphone for a sec.”
“Why, who is it this time??” teased JiYong as he he took out his cellphone from his coat.
“Shut up and just hand me that thing, will ya??” snapped JaeJin as he snatched the phone. He then dialed a phone number as usual…..
“HIHI, oppa~” the voice on the other side sounded so babyish and whiny…. JaeJin really did not like this voice. Yet he grew attached to her neverthelessly, for she was sweet and cute in a way. But never would she mean as much as EunJu to him…. “Yeah, wussup, SungEun??” said JaeJin, laughing.
“Well~ would you like to buy me lunch this week??” said SungEun cutely.
“Umm…. let’s see…. ” He then turned to JiYong for help. “How does our schedule go this week?”
“Nothing much on Wednesday, I think,” replied JiYong. JaeJin turned back to the receiver and started talking.
“I have nothing on Wednesday. Is Wednesday alright for you?”
“Yes~ of course!!! I’ll talk to you later then, okay? Thanx, oppa! Bye!!”
“Bye-” They both hung up.
No one was in the studio except JaeJin and JiYong. SungHoon, SuWon, and JiWon- those shopping freaks- were out shopping, obviously in disguise. JaeDuc was on a date w/… his significant other. JaeJin looked around the empty studio, discovering only JiYong goofing around playing piano.
“So hyung~ another date w/ SungEun this week??” asked JiYong jokingly. JaeJin’s face turned grave.
“Yes, as you just saw a moment ago.”
“You really do like her, don’t you??”
“……..” JaeJin could not answer that question. And the fact that he couldn’t answer it made him feel guilty.
It had been a several months since they started going out. It did not happen because JaeJin all of a sudden decided to fall in love w/ her; it was all determined by what EunJu had told him when he said to her that SungEun asked him out;
“Yeah~ oppa!! You should go out w/ her!! She seems really cute and nice, she’d make a great girlfriend!”
No, said JaeJin, no one would make a great girlfriend except you, EunJu.
But he dared not say so. He didn’t want to break her happiness by intervening in JaeDuc and her relationship. But if he went on like that, he thought he’d go crazy, to think about someone all the time when he knew that he couldn’t have her. So he decided to date SungEun for a while….. all because EunJu said he should.
“You better not hurt my only sister, hyung. If you do, I won’t forgive you.” warned SungHoon once. JaeJin was not about to receive SungHoon’s hatred so he tried to be as sweet as he could be to SungEun. She was very sweet and nice and she knew how to amuse JaeJin.
‘Be content w/ what you have now, LeeJaeJin. If you are not, you are making a mistake because SungEun really is a nice girl.’
“Hey, it’s June already~” said JaeDuc as he stretched. EunJu and JaeDuc were sitting in JaeDuc’s nice and comfy Sephia…. for some reason JaeDuc did not like sporty cars.
“I feel so old,” began EunJu, “I’ll be 20 next week!”
“Yup, June the 19th… the day I was blessed by having you born…..”
“Haha. I wouldn’t exactly call my early days ‘blessed,'” replied EunJu. JaeDuc’s face turned red.
“Don’t even go there, miss. I was only a kid during the times I beat you up!”
“I know, I know,” said EunJu. “It used to be that I did not know what to do with you. You were constantly bugging me.”
“But now–” objected JaeDuc. EunJu interrupted, “But now, it seems that I do not know what to do without you.” She gave him a smile. JaeDuc stared hard at her for a moment, then said,
“……I wish it was like that.”
“What?” questioned EunJu.
“…..It’d be so awesome if you can’t do anything without me. I wish you couldn’t even breathe for a second if I wasn’t there with you…..”
“But then I’ll be helpless,” said EunJu, “and I will have to depend on you for everything.”
“That’s what I want…. to have you need me for everything you do everytime…. because I love you just way too much that I do not want to let go of you even for a split second.”
Without saying anything, EunJu wrapped her arms around JaeDuc and held on to him tightly. She then whispered in his ear,
“I love you.”
As he gently kissed her hair, then her ear, then her neck, she knew that her life couldn’t be any better. She didn’t think this content moment would ever be stirred up and destroyed, until…….
After having lunch, JaeJin and SungEun drove around until they reached the lake where no one was around. JaeJin wanted to see a sunset. JaeJin sat by water, hugging his ankles. SungEun came behind him and wrapped her arms around his square shoulders.
“I thought we agreed that this would be a platonic relationship,” said JaeJin as he slowly unwrapped her arms. He then smiled.
“I know~ but sometimes I just feel like doing this, thinking that you won’t mind….” replied SungEun shyly. JaeJin sighed. “SungEun, you are really sweet and cute and nice….. you really don’t deserve a guy like me. There are plenty of other nice men out there that you can….”
“No, oppa!!” interrupted SungEun. “You are the only one for me.” “Aigo, you silly, you can’t be sure of that now!! You are only 18! Besides, you barely know what I’m really like….”
“Maybe I’ll get to know you better if you open up to me more. I don’t care if you don’t like me, I can wait. That’s what we agreed to do after first month, isn’t it??” querried SungEun.
“……..” JaeJin felt guilty. After one month they started dating, he told her that he was unsure of his feelings so he wanted to break it off…. it must have broken her heart. But she said,
“I didn’t want to let you go. I can wait.”
“SungHoon won’t like me for this…he doesn’t know that we…..” said JaeJin. SungEun cut him off in a huff,
“He doesn’t know that we are not really going out because you don’t like me yet? Ha! Why would he care??”
“Because he’s your bro, that’s why. Anyways, why don’t you consider JiYong? He’s reeeaaalllly decent in my opinion.”
SungEun stared at the sky and let out couple laughs. “URRR— he’s too gay-looking.”
“Goodness! He’s only 4 years older than you!” exclaimed JaeJin in disbelief. SungEun narrowed her eyes and stared at him directly.
“Stop trying to convince me, LeeJaeJin. I laid my eyes on YOU, not them.”
“Gee, I feel so lucky,” joked JaeJin sarcastically. SungEun gave a light punch in his left arm.
“You are so mean~”
“Just kidding, just kidding! What about JaeDuc? He’s an awesome dancer!” laughed JaeJin.
“NoOoOo~ I can never understand a word he says, he uses too much satoori. Besides, he’s taken, as we all know…. but he’s a good candidate.”
“Taken.— yeah.” murmured JaeJin quietly too himself.
“I don’t see what’s so great about EunJu…. she’s not THAT pretty. She must be a real nerd if she goes to Seoul University….”
“Watch what you say, SungEun!” shouted JaeJin. SungEun startled for that moment. Realizing what he had done, he lowered his voice and quietly said,
“She’s my best friend. And my best friend’s girlfriend.”
“I’m sorry….” apologized SungEun in her humblest manner.
JaeJin felt his heart melting away as she gave him a cute smile….. he had to tell her,
Sun was slowly going down and the scenery was just gorgeous…. the sky was bright orange and the reflection of it on the lake made JaeJin want to paint….silence between them two seemed to stretch until SungEun finally broke the silence.
“Oppa—-??” whispered SungEun, rather in a sad voice.
Surprised, JaeJin looked at her. Her eyes were filled with sadness…JaeJin hoped that he wasn’t the one who took her sweet smile off her face.
“Yes…?” responded JaeJin.
“Do you really not like anyone?” asked SungEun carefully. Long silence seemed to exist again….. SungEun patiently waited for a response.
JaeJin finally opened his mouth.
“As of now, no.” But of course, he knew he was lying to her, and to himself. But he wanted to.
“Then can you promise me something?”
“If… if you ever decide to fall in love with anyone….. can it be me??”
‘Poor thing,’ thought JaeJin. ‘I do not deserve your love. You shouldn’t wait for me like that.’
But JaeJin knew that he would have to answer her love someday…. it was his fault in first place that he went out with her. He did not want to hurt her in anyway. Her bright smile, though not as bright as EunJu’s, and her sweetness, though not as sweet as EunJu’s, were something he wanted her to preserve. It would be his fault if she ever stopped smiling. He slowly answered her.
“I promise… that if I ever fall in love with anyone….. it would be you.”
“The 3rd week of Live GayoTop10…. who’s going to get the honorable 1st place?? Would H.O.T. or Jinusean push Sechs Kies off or would Jekkie win once more for their golden cup??”
The KBS hall where Top10 was being held seemed so excited…. all three 1st place nominees; H.O.T., Jinusean, and Sechs Kies stood nervous, fidgeting with their hands and talking amongst themselves. For Sechs Kies this was an especially heartpounding moment, for they had been winning 4 weeks in a row with their new title song from 4th album. Moreover, they had been winning against their strong rivals such as H.O.T. and Jinusean…. one more week of victory and they would get a golden cup for the first time after their debut.
“And the 1st place is…… “Not Meant To Be” by Sechs Kies!!!” announced the MC proudly. At that moment all the members started cheering and JaeDuc broke into tears. Their hardwork had been paid off with a golden cup they desired so much. They got ready to sing their encore. Everyone was so happy.
“I have been loving you for so long…. but you left me……”
“Happy 20th birthday, my princess.” JaeDuc leaned over to kiss her cheek. EunJu giggled shyly. He then reached over to take something out of the container in the passenger’s seat. It was a ring.
“Here,” said JaeDuc as he held it up by the light. The inscription said JD&EJ.;
“If you take this ring,” he continued, “you are making an eternal promise that you will always love me and stay with me.” “It’s always been like that since I started liking you,” said EunJu as she smiled.
“I know~ but still, I need a sign of assurance. You are so beautiful and kind and smart, I bet there are lots of guys chasing after you at your school….”
“Haha. That’s not true,” laughed EunJu. “And even if the guys do come after me, I wouldn’t even glance at them. So don’t worry, okay?”
“Alright,” answered JaeDuc. He then sighed. “I wish I can chain you so you can’t escape from me…..”
EunJu’s eyes widened. “Whoa!! JaeDuc, that’s a bit scary. Why would I ever want to do that???”
“I dunno…. just a feeling. Sorry if I’m being too possessive,” said JaeDuc.
“Don’t worry. No one can ever take me away from you,” assured EunJu. His face lit up.
“Yes. I, SeoEunJu, belong to KimJaeDuc for eternity.” She then took the ring he was holding and slided it in her left ring finger.
“JaeJin— stop drinking, will ya??” said JiWon as he snatched the bottle from JaeJin’s hand. JaeJin stretched to reclaim it but JiWon slapped his hand.
“No~~ hyung, we won a golden cup!! What better reason to celebrate??”
“Stop it!! You’ve been drinking 5 bottles straight. What’s wrong with you??” snapped JiWon.
“Yeah, hyung. Stop.” SuWon joined in.
“No~ no! I’m so happy tonight…” JaeJin’s face was bright red and he couldn’t even get himself up to sit straight. “…Golden cup, over H.O.T. and Jinusean??? Haha, god, I love that damn song. ‘Not Meant To Be…'”
“Of course, hyung. You are the one who wrote the lyrics,” said SungHoon as he gave him a sympathetic look. What was wrong with him??
“Oh…. I did?? Oh yeah!! I did, didn’t I?? ‘I have been loving you for so long…. but you left me.’ Haha… EunJu, do you hear that??” He then grabbed JiYong who was sitting next to him. JiYong’s face turned full of surprise. Everyone else reacted just about the same.
“WhAt???” exclaimed all 4 of them; JiWon, SungHoon, SuWon, and JiYong, in unison.
“EunJu…. EunJu…. I love you so much… where are you??”
“She’s with JaeDuc, hyung. You are unbelievably drunk. Let’s go home now,” said JiYong. He was nervous of what would happen if they stayed at the restaurant. They’d almost be making a scene if they weren’t in a private room.
“JaeDuc…. she’s with HIM?? No~ it’s her birthday today…. I’m supposed to spend it with her, not him….” JaeJin trailed off at the end of his sentence. He was becoming unconscious. JiWon and JiYong grabbed his arms and put them around their shoulders. They practically dragged him from his seat. “What’s with him??? EunJu?” whispered SuWon to SungHoon.
SungHoon shrugged, meaning he didn’t have a clue. He was incredibly angry but he decided not to deal with it for now. ‘I better tell SungEun about this mess….’ thought SungHoon as he opened the door.
“Damn it!! You are so heavy!!” growled JiWon as he pulled JaeJin.
“EunJu….I love you…. stay with me….” JaeJin continued to mumble as they took off.
“Shut up, JaeJin!! Someone punch him to sleep,” yelled JiWon. He was carrying JaeJin on his back. JiYong laughed silently.
“Here, take my keys and open the door.”
SuWon took the keys from JiWon and tried to unlock the door as instructed. JaeJin, still drunk and almost unconscious, did not stop talking to himself.
“Hurry up, SuWon!! He’s gonna break my back!” complained JiWon.
“SoRrY~ it’s too dark in the hallway. I can’t see much,” replied SuWon as he tried to find the keyhole.
“Just drop him on the floor. That’d wake him up,” said SungHoon spitefully.
“Haha, very funny,” replied JiWon with no humor.
“Okay. Going in,” said SuWon as he pushed the door open.
JiWon, sweating like crazy, mumbled to himself as he walked in. JiYong turned on the lights. JiWon dropped JaeJin on the floor. He made a loud thud sound.
“I don’t believe this,” said SuWon, “this was supposed to be a night for celebration.”
“That is not the issue here,” JiWon spoke sharply. SungHoon nodded in an agreement.
“Yeah—- I can’t believe he actually loves JaeDuc’s girlfriend…..”
“Who loves WHO????” A very familiar voice spoke and everyone turned around and gasped after seeing who was standing by the door.
“Ha..hi! You are back! So how was your date??” laughed JiWon nervously. JaeDuc glanced at him and walked over to JaeJin who was lying on the floor, somewhat unconscious.
“Ya. Wake up!” JaeDuc tapped JaeJin’s shoulder lightly. JaeJin rolled over and moaned.
“What is going on here?” questioned JaeDuc, looking directly at JiWon.
JiWon pointed at JaeJin and replied, “As you can see, he’s drunk.”
JiYong knelt down next to JaeJin and shook him. “Hyung— go to your room and sleep… c’mon….”
JaeJin opened his eyes, just a bit. He was blinded by light for a second. Everything was blurry, he couldn’t see a thing. He then turned his head towards JiYong.
“EunJu… you are here….” He then grabbed JiYong’s arm. JiYong’s eyes grew huge.
“WhAt~~??? No, look, I’m not EUNJU, I’m JIYONG. Hyung, don’t make a scene here. Here, I’ll take you to your room.”
“I love you EunJu…. stay with me…..”
JaeDuc stood still, his body frozen. He could not believe what was happening. “What is going on here? Someone tell me!! Why is he…???”
JaeDuc stopped himself. He could very well see what was going on. JiYong sighed. He tried to stand up but JaeJin pulled his arm.
“Don’t leave me….. please…..”
Ring~~ Ring~~ Ring~~
“SungEun, telephone,” said MinHee. She was SungEun’s friend from childhood, now her roommate.
“ARGH!!!” SungEun got up in a rage. She didn’t have a morning class so she was hoping to sleep in. She snatched the phone from MinHee and shouted.
“Ya! Don’t yell to your oppa like that!” SungHoon yelled back from the other side. SungEun calmed herself.
“What do you want??”
“I have to talk to you about something important so be at that cafe in front of your school by noon today. Be there on time. Actually, just be there. Or else you will be sorry. Later then.”
SungEun yawned as she was listening to the dial tone. “Stupid idiot… thinks he’s all that… see if I care!” mumbled SungEun as she slammed the phone down.
[Two weeks later]
—Please press 1 to listen to a message. Press 2 to delete a message.—
JaeDuc pressed 1. He then heard a voice he missed so much…
BEEP ~JaeDuc, I haven’t heard from you for….
JaeDuc sighed as he abruptly pressed 2. He turned off the phone and threw it back to JiYong.
“Hey, thanks for the phone.”
“Who was it?” asked JiYong. JaeDuc shrugged. JiYong already knew the answer.
“You can’t avoid her forever, hyung. It’s been two weeks already, why don’t you go talk to her? She has a right to know at least.”
“I seriously don’t think it’s any of your business,” replied JaeDuc coldly. JiYong sighed.
“It shouldn’t affect you two in any way, the fact that JaeJin likes her…”
“You heard what he said. Now, that really shouldn’t affect me, should it?” questioned JaeDuc in a sarcastic tone.
“Maybe he didn’t really mean what he said.”
“A person who’s pissed drunk cannot lie, friend.” JaeDuc gave JiYong an annoyed look as he responded.
It still gave both of them chills, especially JaeDuc, when they thought about that night and what JaeJin had said.
‘I liked you ever since I first saw you, but he took you away from me….’
“No~ you have to tell me, SungHoon! Why did your sister go back to Hawaii all of a sudden?” asked JaeJin. SungHoon snapped at him as a response.
“For a vacation, I said! Will you stop bugging me about it??” “She didn’t even tell me she was leaving! How can she do this to me??” said JaeJin angrily.
“No, how can YOU do that to HER? That should be the question,” replied SungHoon. A confusion struck JaeJin as he was listening to SungHoon.
“I don’t understand. What did I do?”
“You…” SungHoon was interrupted when JiWon motioned him to keep silence. He then glared at SungHoon. JaeJin was even more puzzled.
“No, tell me, what did I do?”
“Nothing,” answered JiWon nervously. “She just went back for a vacation, she’ll be back in couple months.”
“Okay~” replied JaeJin as he walked out of the room in suspicion. JiWon gave SungHoon an evil look.
“What??!” shouted SungHoon.
“You know that JaeDuc told us to keep our mouth shut. I think that includes you too,” said JiWon firmly. “Well, then! What about my poor sister? JaeJin’s supposed to be her boyfriend! How can he do this?”
“I’d say it was very smart of you to tell SungEun in first place,” responded JiWon sarcastically, “about JaeJin liking EunJu and all… you blabber mouth!”
“I am not!! Anyway, there’s no point in arguing like this. So what’s JaeDuc up to lately?” questioned SungHoon.
“He’s avoiding EunJu as much as possible. I feel sorry for her. And also for JaeDuc and JaeJin,” said JiWon.
Sechs Kies was at KBS hall later that evening, getting ready for the night’s performance. SungHoon was doing his hair, JiWon and JaeDuc were getting dressed, JaeJin and SuWon were being helped to put on makeup. JiYong was annoyed by continuous calls he was receiving.
“Whew, hope that was the last,” said JiYong in relief as he put down the phone.
“Argh!!!!” shouted JiYong. “Gotta get rid of this junk! HELLO???”
JiYong answered the phone angrily. But a moment after, his facial expression turned very calm. He said in his usual soothing voice, “Oh no, that’s okay. He’s right here, hold on,” He then handed over the phone to JaeDuc.
“This is for you.”
‘Who could it be?’ thought JaeDuc as he received the phone.
“It’s me…” A calm voice yet with a hint of sadness was on the other line. JaeDuc’s heart started aching when he heard that voice…. he had been missing her so much. The past two weeks had been like two years for him…
“I figured it’d be the best way to reach you, through JiYong’s cell phone,” EunJu continued to speak.
“I’m kind of busy right now, I have to go to bang-song like in 2 minutes,” JaeDuc tried to sound as cold as possible but he found himself sweating over it.
“Can’t you at least return my call and say that you are alive? I’ve been worried to death!” EunJu’s voice began to shake in frustration.
“I’m sorry….” said JaeDuc as he trailed off at the end of his sentence. It hurt him even more, knowing that he had hurt her.
“Can we talk later?” asked EunJu cautiously. JaeDuc quickly organized his thoughts.
‘I have to tell her tonight,’
“Okay, I’ll pick you up after the show.”
EunJu waved as JaeDuc pulled over. It was dark but JaeDuc still could see EunJu smiling brightly. Seeing her sweet smile made him feel even worse. As he felt tremendous amount of remorse, she opened the car door and hopped in.
“Hi~” said EunJu as she leaned over to kiss his cheek. Right before her lips came upon him, JaeJin’s face flashed in front of JaeDuc’s eyes. He quickly turned away and looked out the window.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered in surprise. “Are you all right?”
JaeDuc did not answer. EunJu felt her heart aching. “JaeDuc….” She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Look at me…. please..?”
He slowly turned to face her. She then lifted her hand up to touch his face. “You look tired… I’m sorry I made you come all the way over here,” said EunJu.
‘Please don’t say sorry. I’m the one to say that.’
JaeDuc put his hand on top of hers and squeezed it hard.
‘This will be the last time I’ll ever feel the warmth of your hand.’
EunJu smiled lightly. She looked deep into his eyes. They sparkled with full of sadness. She wondered what was wrong with him, but she didn’t want to bother him by asking.
Strands of hair came upon her face. JaeDuc detached her hand from his face and raised his other hand up to stroke her hair.
‘This will be the last time I’ll ever feel the softness of your hair.’
“Why are you so quiet tonight?” asked EunJu in a whispering voice. JaeDuc didn’t say anything. He was hurting so much inside that it was almost causing him suffocation.
Abruptly, yet tenderly, she wrapped her arms around his chest, embracing him gently. She leaned her head against his chest. He felt his heart finally shattering into pieces. It broke so harshly that even she could feel it. He couldn’t help but to cry miserably.
When EunJu felt a tear drop on her, she looked up. She gasped shortly.
“JaeDuc, what’s wrong?”
Without a reply, he pulled her violently toward him and embraced her. She was now puzzled. He was holding her tightly… so strong that she felt as if she was going to crush. He continued to weep silently, under his breath.
‘This will be the last time I’ll ever have you in my arms.’
“JaeDuc…. it hurts…”
‘I don’t want to let go of you…. but I have to…. because I can’t love you anymore. But if I let go, I’m afraid I’ll prostrate…’
“JaeDuc…. let me go… for a moment…please….”
‘I love you so much… but JaeJin loves you even more… he deserves you more than I ever do… so go on, go love him. Forget everything that existed between us… only I shall remember the precious moments we shared together. Rebuild your love with JaeJin… and forget me.’
JaeDuc finally eased his embrace on her. She sighed of relief, and looked right in his eyes. “Don’t cry. If you are sad, I’m sad too.”
JaeDuc got one more close look of her face. He then declared his final statement in his mind.
‘Forget me… forever.’
JaeJin sighed as he lied on his bed. SungEun’s face kept on flashing in front of him. Something didn’t feel quite right. He felt as if she left unexpectedly because of something he had done. That assumption grew stronger especially due to what SungHoon had said at the KBS Hall.
‘SungEun, if it is something I did, I’m sorry. Please come back.’
[Few weeks later]
“Whoo~!!! Happy 21st birthday, JaeJin!” exclaimed everyone in the room unanimously. It was JaeJin’s birthday party for Sechs Kies members and his friends at a resort in SokCho.
“You are an old man now, oppa,” commented EunJu who was standing next to JaeDuc. “Hey! I’m only a year older!” replied JaeJin jokingly. He then noticed JaeDuc’s gloomy expression on his face. JaeDuc seemed particularly unhappy and disturbed.
“Ya. What’s up with that face?? Smile, man!! It’s my birthday!”
“Oh, I’m sorry….” JaeDuc smiled faintly in response to JaeJin’s comment. JaeJin then turned to SungHoon to ask,
“Your sister really isn’t coming, eh?”
“Nope,” answered SungHoon, “She has summer school.”
“Darn. It would’ve been perfect if she came. She hasn’t returned any of my phone calls yet. Hmph…” SungHoon snorted in sarcasm. JiWon hit him with his elbow.
“What?!” whispered SungHoon.
“He doesn’t know yet. Don’t let him notice that we know something,” warned JiWon also in whispering voice.
“What’s wrong?” asked EunJu to JaeDuc as she touched his arm. Without a reply, he walked away.
“What’s wrong with him?” questioned JiYong who walked up to her.
“I don’t know. He’s been angry at me and I don’t know why,” replied EunJu. She then looked at JiYong with sad eyes.
“Has he been stressed out lately?” she asked.
“Not that I know of. He was fine before he got here,” shrugged JiYong.
Couple hours went by. People there were dancing freely to music, eating, etc. JaeJin noticed that EunJu had slipped away out of the room and to the balcony. He went after her.
Her eyes were gazed on sky. The night was fairly young. The cold breeze of night wind struck her and she shuttered. Her shoulders and fine figured legs were revealed since she wore a sleeveless dress. But moments later, she suddenly felt warm as some garment surrounded her.
“JaeDuc…?” she said joyfully as she turned around, only to disappoint herself.
“What are you doing here?” asked JaeJin as he put his jacket on her. EunJu smiled lightly in return.
“Why are you out here? You should be celebrating with rest of the guys in the room,” said EunJu.
“I saw you walking out… came right after you.”
“…….” She remained silent.
“We haven’t had a real conversation in a long time; now seems like an opportunity. So how have you been?” asked JaeJin.
“Pretty well. School’s alright. How’s it going with you, oppa?”
It always hurt him deeply when she addressed him as an ‘oppa.’ It implied that he meant no more than a friendly figure of an older brother to her. Avoiding her question, he asked her instead,
“How come you never call JaeDuc that?”
Surprised by his response, EunJu’s eyes widened. She then bursted out to instant laughter. “Call JaeDuc ‘oppa?’ Hahaha! No way!”
JaeJin began laughing with her. ‘How silly of me to ask such question.’
“I never called him that because he used to be so mean when we were little. Only you deserved that name. You were so nice to me, remember?” She started sinking into reminiscence.
JaeJin felt sad. Of course he remembered. He never thought JaeDuc would fall in love with this girl. He had been so cruel to her. JaeJin always wondered how EunJu became to like him back so much. Did his kindness mean anything to her at all? All these years he devoted his whole heart to her, just to let it go unnoticed?
“What good was me being nice to you when JaeDuc’s the one who got you in the end? I’m not the one you love.”
There was a long silence between them. She stared right at him, with puzzled expression on her face. It was not of JaeJin’s impetus to say such comment, but it was too late. When he realized what he had said, he blushed in embarrassment.
In the midst of shock, EunJu turned and started walking away fast. She knew that if she got involved, the situation would be pretty ugly. She did not want to see that. But JaeJin quickly grabbed her wrist to explain himself.
“Have you seen EunJu?” asked JaeDuc to SuWon.
“I think she went out to get some fresh air or sumthing,” replied SuWon as he took a bite of sandwich. He then turned around to talk to some other people.
‘It’s cold out there. She didn’t bring a jacket,’ thought JaeDuc as he headed toward the balcony.
“I didn’t mean anything by that. Please don’t misunderstand me, it was totally unintentional…” explained JaeJin in desperate manner. He was still grabbing her wrist. He saw that his explanation was no use, for she didn’t seem to believe it. Instead, she just looked right at him, without saying any word.
“I don’t know what to say,” said JaeJin as he slowly let go of her wrist. She did not move. She stood still, staring down. There was again a long silence.
“… Why didn’t you ever tell me…?” whispered EunJu finally. JaeJin could tell that she was crying, even though he couldn’t see her face.
“….I’m sorry…” he whispered back.
“But I couldn’t hold back anymore. It’s been too long. So many people would hate me for this, for loving his best friend’s fiancee… but I began loving you long before he came into the scene.”
“Being nice to you only meant having to repress my feelings. You do not understand how much it took for me to endure such great pain.”
“Stop it! I don’t want to hear anymore… just leave me alone!” cried EunJu as she started running away. JaeJin cried back as he went after her and grabbed her arm.
“Don’t leave! You have to let me finish. I love you so much, to a point of insanity. Whether you like it or not, it’s the truth!”
“Don’t tell me anymore! I don’t wanna hear it!” she resisted with all her might, to try to free her arm. But JaeJin was holding it so tightly.
She was in tears now. “Let go! Let go of me, LeeJaeJin!”
Suddenly she felt his hand grabbing the back of her neck, then something warm touching her lips. The jacket she had on fell onto the balcony floor. She realized that her struggle had been pointless. His lips, she thought, were burning like fire. It just indicated how much his heart was burning with endless love. His kiss was very gentle and tender compare to that of JaeDuc’s. Surprisingly, she found herself drawing herself into that kiss. It’s been so long since she received a sign that she was being loved. JaeDuc had not kissed her so affectionately in many weeks. Ever since that night in his car where he acted strangely, he had been ignoring her. She was hurt deeply. But JaeJin’s kiss was enough to soothe her pain.
Then she thought of JaeDuc. When she realized that he was watching her, she pushed JaeJin away.
“JaeDuc, I…” she stammered as she blushed in a huge embarrassment.
“It’s all a misunderstanding. I really…” she tried to explain herself but found it no use, for JaeDuc turned around and ran away.
‘What in the hell have I done?’ thought JaeJin as he stood still, dumbfounded. ‘I can’t believe I did this!’
“No wait!! JaeDuc–!!” she cried and began running after JaeDuc.
“JaeDuc!! Listen to me!”
‘I was expecting this… I knew this would come… but why am I hurting so much?’
Tear drops rolled down his cheek as JaeDuc ran downstairs. He reached his car, opened the door and drove away. He could see EunJu in the rear mirror.
When EunJu saw his Sephia driving away, she felt so dejected. She collapsed on the ground in despair. Not noticing that her hair had lolled, she sat there, crying. It pained JaeJin from a distance to watch her like that… but he couldn’t go near her. Everything was his fault.
Everything was ruined now because of him… how was he going to pay JaeDuc back…?
“JaeDuc called me this morning,” said Mr. Kim, “he drove to Seoul last night and is staying there till we are back.”
“Man, he ditched his own friend’s party?” exclaimed JiWon, “how screwed up is THAT now?”
“Yeah! What happened to him, do you know hyung?” asked SuWon as he turned to JaeJin. He shook his head.
“Oh wellz. We’re going back today anyway, so I don’t see any problem,” said JiYong. “Let’s go pack!”
—-JaeDuc, you have to hear me out first. It’s all a misunder….—-BEEEEP
~The Message Has Been Deleted~
“Don’t apologize, damn it!” yelled JaeDuc as he threw his cell phone against the wall. “It’s not your fault.”
[Few days later, EunJu’s apartment]
JaeDuc felt that he needed to break it off completely. He was burdening himself as well as others. He went to her upon her request.
“What?!?!” exclaimed EunJu in disbelief. “What did you just say? I don’t think I heard you right.”
“I don’t wanna see you anymore,” said JaeDuc.
EunJu sat still, her body completely frozen. Fluorescent lights were flashing in as she tried to gather her thoughts. “But why???”
“Because I don’t like you anymore,” answered JaeDuc coldly. He knew that it would be a biggest lie to tell anyone that he didn’t like her…. he also knew that it would destroy her so much if he told her such lie… but would she know how much more he’d be hurt..?
“I know you are mad at me. But I didn’t do it intentionally. You are gonna start hating me just because of that? How can you stop liking me after dating me for 3 years? I don’t understand….” EunJu was in a complete shock. It all seemed so abrupt to her, the things he was telling her.
“Here, I’ll make you understand. I’m dumping you because I don’t like you anymore. You went behind my back and cheated on me w/ my best friend, of all people…”
‘I can’t believe I’m saying this.’
“I did NOT!”
“You seemed to like it when he kissed you.”
“I… I just can’t get it out of my head. Knowing what happened, I can’t go on with you anymore.”
EunJu quickly searched for something to say. She then remembered an incident two years ago, when a scandal broke out between JaeDuc and LeeHyeRyun when they were shooting the movie ‘Seventeen’. JaeDuc knew how heartbroken EunJu was because of that, and he promised her to make up for it. ‘It’s so hard being a girlfriend of a celebrity,’ she had told him, ‘so we should break it off before we both get hurt even more.’ But JaeDuc simply didn’t let her go.
“I think what I have to say is complete,” said JaeDuc firmly as he stood up and walked towards the exit.
“I forgave you when you kissed LeeHyeRyun,”
“Not only in the movie, I mean. You said it wasn’t intentional, so I believed you. You don’t know how hurt I was back then.”
“I forgave you then, but why can’t you do the same….?”
There was a long silence in between, until EunJu repeated her question. “…. Why can’t you do the same?”
JaeDuc answered, “LeeHyeRyun wasn’t your best friend, was she?”
EunJu froze. Her eyes filled with tears. She knew this was the end.
“I can’t do the same… because JaeJin’s my best friend.”
That was the last thing he said to her before he walked out the door…. out of her life.
I’m going to wait for you in front of the water fountain at the park at 10 pm. I just want to see you for the one last time It won’t take long. I’m going to wait until you come, even if I have to wait forever. Please be there. -EunJu-
“Ya! Just go, you fool! Don’t be a stubborn a**!” yelled JiWon. Ignoring him, JaeDuc kept on drinking.
“This is a very fun celebration dinner we are having here, for winning an award for the ‘Best Song of Summer'” said JiYong sarcastically.
“Well, we’re home, what better place to dine? At least we are safe,” said SungHoon as he munched on his jja-jang-myun.
“It’s 1 in the morning already, it’s raining outside, she must be freezing. She just wants to see you one last time, hyung,” said SuWon calmly.
“Don’t hurt her anymore than you already have, JaeDuc,” said JaeJin.
“If you are so worried,” snapped JaeDuc, “why don’t YOU go?”
“Look, KimJaeDuc, I know you are mad at me, but…”
“I’m not mad at you. Just leave me alone.”
[3 hours later]
The rain was pouring all over her, but she didn’t care. She was soaking wet and freezing; she had been waiting for 6 hours. ‘I didn’t think it’d rain,’ thought EunJu as she hugged her knees. She was sitting on a bench. Suddenly the rain stopped pouring on her. She turned around to see who it was. JaeJin was holding an umbrella for her.
“What are YOU doing here?” said EunJu with spite in her voice.
“Come on, I’ll take you home,” replied JaeJin.
“Go away. I don’t want to see you.”
“JaeDuc’s not coming, EunJu,” sighed JaeJin, trying to convince her.
“I don’t care, just go away,” she said coldly.
“You are gonna get sick, EunJu. You already look like you are. Come on, I’ll take you home. Let’s leave,” he came around the bench to stand in front of her. He knelt down and studied her face. The tears and raindrops were indistinguishable, but at least he could tell that she was crying.
She sobbed very softly, but he could still hear her. He wanted to solace her, but he wasn’t sure whether he should. She lifted her face up and looked at him in the eyes. She then said in a barely audible voice, “Does he really not love me anymore? He wouldn’t just have me wait out in the rain, like this… I told him it’d be just one last time… I thought he’d surely come…. just one last time…..”
It crushed his heart to listen to her speaking. She was hurting so much. He gently took her in his arms. It only seemed appropriate, despite the current situation they were in.
“Why is it,” she continued, “that he always makes me cry…. and everytime I came to you afterwards…..”
“But this time I came to you,” said JaeJin, “and you can always expect that from now on.”
“JaeDuc,” said JiWon, “give it up. You can’t go on without her. You know that yourself.”
“The three greatest things that happened in my life,” JaeDuc began, “are Sechs Kies, JaeJin, and EunJu.” JiWon nodded. He could not possibly express how bad he felt inside.
“Especially her…. everything about her….I love so much. You’ve loved someone before, so you know the feeling, right?”
“Yeah…” answered JiWon slowly. He knew that loving someone could do so much to a person; it made that person more complete and vivacious.
“Then why are you giving up on her? You love her so much. You know that she won’t like JaeJin the same way she likes you. You are only hurting both of them.”
JaeDuc sighed. “I know. But JaeJin…. she means so much to him. I want him to feel how it is to embrace her, caress her, play with her hair… all the good things that made me smile, you know.”
JiWon listened. Perhaps JaeDuc was making a mistake. Or maybe not. He did not know what to say. JaeDuc smiled to himself, as he said, “Who knows? She might even like him back.”
JiWon shook his head in disagreement.
‘That won’t ever happen, JaeDuc.’
EunJu continued sobbing very softly on JaeJin’s shoulder. They were both soaking wet, with heavy rain pouring all over them. It was past 3 am.
“Cry all you want…. oppa’s here…” JaeJin whispered gently into her ears. ‘I’ve always been here for you, remember?’
He stroked her hair, just as he would when they were little. He had always loved touching her hair because it was so soft; but it never had been wet before. It felt strange to touch wet hair while consoling her….. Moments later, he noticed that she stopped crying. But her head was still on his shoulder. “EunJu…. do you wanna go home now?” asked JaeJin quietly.
There was no response.
“EunJu….” JaeJin slowly removed her body away from him. He noticed that she was unconscious. Her lips were plum-colored, her face pale.
“Wake up… EunJu! Wake up!”
How much did I mean to you anyway? Or did you just date me so you can get over EunJu? I can’t believe you did this to me. You are such a despicable jerk. I cannot express how much I hate you. I hope you rot in hell! —–
“I can’t send this to him!” sighed SungEun as she tore up the letter and threw the pieces away. “I really hate you though, LeeJaeJin….” she continued murmuring to herself.
“You are a liar… you said I’d be the first one if you ever came close to liking someone….” As she was dwelling on her thought, her phone rang. She picked it up reluctantly.
“Hey, sis, wussup?”
“Oh, it’s you. Hi,” replied SungEun. She found her brother’s call rather uncalled for, but she tried not to show it. But SungHoon already knew.
“I know, I know. You think I’m annoying, huh?” said SungHoon as he chuckled.
SungEun blushed in embarrassment. She felt bad at the moment. “Umm… so… how’s everyone doing?” she asked, subtly changing the subject.
“They’re all right.”
“How is….” SungEun began but trailed off in the end.
“JaeJin doing, you mean?” SungHoon finished it off for her, “He’s doing well, I guess.”
They remained silent for a moment. “He misses you a lot; he wants you to come back.”
“Oh, really?” querried SungEun sarcastically, “I didn’t expect that from HIM…”
“You know, you can still be his friend. I think you’d be better off that way,” suggested SungHoon. “Plus I’m kinda tired of telling him lies about you taking summer school and all the other things you don’t even do…. I only told you about SeoEunJu because I didn’t want you to be hurt. JaeJin hyung likes her a lot and he seems happy to be around her, especially with JaeDuc’s breakup with her…”
“What?!” exclaimed SungEun while interrupting.
“JaeDuc dumped her after finding out about JaeJin because he felt bad,” SungHoon sighed as he explained.
“… He shouldn’t have done that,” she said, feeling sympathy for EunJu.
“We all felt really bad for her but there’s nothing we can do about it. And even more sad thing is that JaeJin doesn’t know why JaeDuc dumped her…. it’s causing all the misunderstanding and malice towards one another.”
“Oppa…?” called SungEun softly.
“Yeah…?” answered SungHoon also softly.
SungEun hesitated to speak for a while; SungHoon patiently waited. He wanted her to tell him what he wanted to hear. And she did tell him indeed.
“I’m coming back.”
~Please don’t leave me, JaeDuc! Don’t hurt me like this!-I’m sorry but I have to.
~Why? Why can’t we just forget what happened and start all over?
-Because JaeJin loves you more than I.
~No! But I love YOU, not him!
~Don’t leave me! Don’t…..
EunJu desperately tried to grasp him but JaeDuc was to be seen nowhere. She reached out for him but nothing came back in return. JaeJin held her hand while she was mumbling JaeDuc’s name. Her hand was burning with fever. It hurt him to see her like that. He squeezed her hand hard.
Suddenly her face became peaceful.
‘She must think I’m him….’ thought JaeJin.
JaeJin quickly slid his hand out when he saw her rustle. “EunJu??” He said suavely. “Are you awake now?”
EunJu slowly opened her eyes. She had to squint because it was too bright. She then realized that she was in a blue and white striped shirt.
“…Hospital..?” She mouthed silently. JaeJin nodded.
“You passed out of cold and exhaustion. You almost caught pneumonia, doctor said.”
EunJu sat dumbfounded for a moment. She tried to retrieve what happened after she cried on JaeJin. But all she could think of was one person. “I had this dream…. JaeDuc said he doesn’t want to be with me… I felt so scared and I reached out for him but he just walked away….”
JaeJin sat there with his heart crying. He felt so incompetent because he couldn’t do anything to make her feel better. “Oppa… can you do me a favor and call him to come over?” JaeJin shook his head.
“I called already… he won’t come. EunJu, please….”
“So he doesn’t care whether I die or not….”
“No, it’s not that… he couldn’t come because they had to go record for FM date this afternoon.”
“Why aren’t you there, then?”
“I can’t leave you alone like this…. especially not now…”
SuWon, JiWon, JiYong, JaeDuc and SungHoon were waiting for their turn to go in and record. They sat nervously in the waiting room.
“Hyung, are you worried?” asked Suwon as he poked JaeDuc.
“Of course not! What’re you talking about?? It’s not the first time we’ve done this,” laughed JaeDuc.
“No, I meant… about… her.”
JaeDuc’s laughter faded away. “She’ll be alright,” said JaeDuc quietly.
“Are you… are you gonna invite her to your birthday party this year?” asked JiYong carefully.
“It’ll still be the same without her,” replied JaeDuc coldly.
“He doesn’t even want to invite me to his 21st birthday party?”
“I don’t understand you… how can you possibly want to go there? Where do you draw courage to actually face him after everything?” cried JaeJin. He then shifted his attention back to driving as the light turned green.
EunJu remained quiet in her seat. Her face was turned away from JaeJin but he was still able to tell her groomy expression just by the way she breathed. He knew her too well.
“EunJu-ya,” said JaeJin gently, “sorry for getting angry.”
“Are we there yet?” she replied unexpectedly, “I want to go rest.”
“If you want to come…..” began JaeJin, “I’ll invite you. Come with me.”
EunJu smiled lightly. “You can’t do that… it’s not even your birthday!”
JaeJin smiled as well. “How’s this then?”
“… If you really want to come, then I’ll take you…. as a girlfriend.”
‘As a girlfriend…’ thought Eunju to herself.
“What makes you like me so much?” asked EunJu with her eyes wide open.
“Well… ” hesitated JaeJin. “I can’t really answer that question.”
“Cuz… umm… I dunno. It’s been so many years since I first saw you. I really knew then that I had to love you.”
EunJu smiled lightly and looked deep into his eyes.
“Why… are you looking at me like that?” asked Jaejin nervously.
“If you really like me that much, why didn’t you ever tell me? I had a crush on you before!”
“What???” he exclaimed. “When was this?!”
“Sometime in my life….until Duggie that dork stepped in. If you had told me before… who knows what would have happened between us?”
‘Ahhhhhh! And why are YOU telling me this NOW?’ Jaejin felt like screaming out loud but he only repeated his words to himself.
“And you told me on my 16th birthday that you only like me as a dong-sang..”
“I didn’t mean that!” said Jaejin.
“Whatever… too late now.”
“I think I realize that already…”
The two remained silent for a while.
“Screw JaeDuc’s party. Do you wanna just ditch with me?” asked EunJu with big smile on her face. Jaejin’s eyes widened.
“B..but..” mumbled Jaejin.
“Step on the gas!” said Eunju cheerfully.
The two took off to some foreign place, leaving other Sechs Kies members curious as to where Jaejin was. And Jaeduc was missing his best friend at his birthday party. But Jaeduc knew where he went. It was obvious to him.
They were on a country road, driving to wherever.
“Oh! I like this song! Turn it up!” Jaejin reached for the volume.
~You are my sunshine after the rain- You are the cure against my fear and my pain~
“I like 98 degrees. Especially the Invisible Man. Sorta sounded like my life story,” said Jaejin as he was driving.
“So does this song,” said Eunju, “sounds a lot like you. The part where they say ‘you are the cure against my fear and my pain'”
“….” Jaejin agreed silently.
“If you are the sunshine, stupid Duggie is the rain. If stupid Duggie is my pain, you are the cure. It always has been that way.”
“That is an overwhelming compliment yet sad analogy,” replied Jaejin, “surely Jaeduc has broken your heart by dumping you, but he’s given you a lot of happiness too,” he then stepped on the brakes and pulled over by the lake.
“I wish I fell in love with you first…. you would’ve never dumped me. Being such a nice person you are….”
“We all wish for something we can’t have, don’t we…?”
Jaejin was muted when Eunju wrapped her arm around him and started kissing him on the lips.
It was a warm and soft and sweet kiss, but at the same time, contained much pain and agony of love he could never have.
‘I can’t do this!’ thought Jaejin as he tried to push her away, but he felt himself drawing deeper into the kiss.
‘I wish this moment would never end… Wait, what am I thinking?’
“Stop it!” exclaimed JaeJin as he finally managed to pull himself away from her.
“Why do you toy with me? You don’t even love me!”
“Why.. isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this why you kissed me at your party this summer when Jaeduc was looking?”
“You know it was an accident! I just lost control that day.”
“Oh, so that was just an accident and now you don’t want me anymore.”
“Well… Jaeduc is my best friend and just because he’s not dating you anymore doesn’t mean I should….”
“And why not?”
“Cuz… cuz that’s just wrong!” replied Jaejin in a somewhat furious manner.
Eunju scrutinized him curiously, and started giggling.
“Wh..why are you laughing?” questioned Jaejin.
“You have a kissable mouth, oppa.”
“Really, you do,” said Eunju as she kept on giggling.
“Is that ALL you can say after stealing my first kiss ever?” said Jaejin.
“Hey, hey. Watch what you’re saying. I did NOT steal your first kiss. You stole it for yourself, dumbo!”
“SeoEunJu… what happened to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You became so daring and bold and shameless…”
“Haha. It’s all your fault. You let JaeDuc influence me. If you had snatched me before he did…”
JaeJin was speechless. How is it possible that she was joking with him in the same car, sitting right next to him, when he was supposed to be at his best friend’s birthday party? Better yet, she even kissed him! She must have gone crazy from the shock of being dumped.
“beep beep beep”
Eunju’s pager went off.
“Oh, I guess I gotta call someone back. I don’t know who this is, though.”
“Let me see,” said Jaejin as Eunju showed him her pager.
“It’s Jiwon’s cell phone number. What does he want you for?” said Jaejin.
“Beats me. Let me use your phone real quick.”
…Many days later….
“Welcome back to Korea,” said SungHoon as he smiled at his sister. SungEun returned his smile with a nod.
“How’s Jaeduc oppa doing?” asked SungEun.
“Pretty much destroyed…even though he doesn’t show it.”
“She’s actually doing fine.”
“No way!” exclaimed SungEun, “how’s that possible?”
“Well.. looks like she stopped trying.”
“I suppose less chance for you and Jaejin now, is it?” said SungHoon as hesmiled.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, Jaejin and Eunju are about to get together, it seems.”
“WHAT?!? Now how did THAT happen?” exclaimed SungEun furiously.
“Now, now. Calm down, sis. I really don’t know what Eunju’s up to. But them two both ditched Jaeduc’s party and went off on their own.”
“Never mind the fact that Eunju wasn’t invited in first place, but Jaejin hyung was and he still didn’t come. Well, I guess it didn’t matter since Jaeduc hyung was unhappy anyway, but still…”
“….I.. don’t know what to say. I mean… I still like Jaejin and all…”
“I think if he liked you back, we’d all be happy. I can’t bear to see this anymore. It is so pathetic! Best friends fighting over a girl, my own sister coming all the way from Hawaii to see this jerk who got drunk and said things he wasn’t supposed to say… I give up. Do whatever you wish. Let’s get out of here,” said SungHoon.
“Knock~knock~ guess who’s here!” said SungHoon. SuWon, Jiwon, Jiyong, Jaejin and Jaeduc all looked at him. Behind him stood SungEun with a shy expression on her face.
“SungEun….. you are back!” said Jiwon. All of them began smiling, except Jaeduc. Jaejin stood up, walked towards her, and tapped her head hard enough so she would scream.
“Oww! What was that for?” said SungEun.
“That’s for leaving without telling me, worrying me to death….” replied Jaejin, “but I’m so glad you’re back.”
Then, surprisingly, he embraced her affectionately. Jaeduc seemed to frown but he tried to not make it noticeable.
“I’m glad I’m back too, to see you….” replied SungEun in his arms.
[Later in the day]
Jiwon had requested to see Eunju that day. They met by her apartment. She did not know why he wanted to see her so she got really curious.
“I hope it’s not something I did,” said Eunju as she smiled.
“Oh, no, no! Nothing like that. I just wanted to ask for a favor,” replied Jiwon.
“Really? What is it?”
“Eunju…” said Jiwon slowly, “I’ll help you get back with Jaeduc. So don’t stop trying.”
For a moment, she looked as if she was shocked.
“Oh, you don’t have to,” finally said Eunju carelessly.
“Huh?! What do you mean? Just a few days ago you were sad because Jaeduc didn’t invite you to his party!”
“Oh well.. I got over that already.”
“That quickly?! Eunju ya~ what’s wrong with you? It doesn’t sound like something you’d say….” said Jiwon as he sighed.
“Well… I’m just being logical and realistic. You weren’t there to see Jaeduc as a child, but he always has been that way. If he got sick of something, he dumped it, whether it be a toy or food or a song or…”
“But YOU are not a toy or food or a song. I’m sure there is…”
“No there isn’t!” shouted Eunju as she interrupted, “I know it’s not something I did. It has to be him. He just doesn’t like me anymore. He even told me so himself. Besides, I’m glad he left me. He was too possessive.”
“Do you still love him?” asked Jiwon in a low voice.
“No,” replied Eunju coldly.
“…Then why are you still wearing his ring?” questioned Jiwon as he pointed at her ring finger.
She did not know how to respond to that. She remained silent for a while.
“How.. do you know I got it from him?” she asked carefully.
“I helped him to pick it out for your birthday, that’s how.”
“I guess I won’t be wearing it anymore.” She then took off the ring and threw it on the ground. Jiwon bent down to pick it up. He examined it carefully and saw the inscription, JD&EJ.;
“Are you sure you don’t want it back, Eunju?”
“You can melt it, eat it, throw it away, whatever… but I sure don’t want it.”
“Okay then…. I’ll throw it away,”
Jiwon then motioned to throw it to the sky.
“NO DON’T!” exclaimed Eunju as she tried to stop him, but it was too late.
“What, you said you didn’t want it!” said Jiwon.
“… WHY are you doing this to me? You have nothing to do with this situation! The only people who are in it should be me, Jaejin oppa, and Jaeduc. It’s none of your business!” yelled Eunju furiously.
“It IS my business,” replied Jiwon quietly, “especially if it has to do with Sechs Kies.”
“Just go away and leave alone,” said Eunju coldly. Then she started walking away. Jiwon quickly went after her and seized her. He grabbed her shoulders and added pressure so she wouldn’t escape.
“You listen to me, SeoEunJu,” said Jiwon as he looked at her fiercely,
“Youstill love Jaeduc, I can see that. So stop playing with Jaejin and let him go. You know you don’t like him that way.”
“I’m not playing with him. Jaejin’s my best friend. Can I not even see him?” replied Eunju as strongly as possible, but she was somewhat frightened by Jiwon’s abrupt behavior.
“You can’t go out with Jaejin. I’m not gonna let that happen. You don’t even know why Jaeduc wanted to break up with you, do you?”
“You can’t stop me from doing anything. And I don’t care why Jaeduc wanted to break up with me anymore. So stop…”
“He did that…” said Jiwon as he interrupted, “he wanted to leave you because he… he wanted Jaejin to have you instead.”
At that moment, Eunju’s face turned white. Every sign of blood was gone and the only thing there was the paleness. She stood still, frozen, shocked.
Jiwon slowly detached his hands from her shoulder and continued.
“Couple months ago, all of us found out that Jaejin had been loving you for 16 years. We realized that he wrote the song ‘Not Meant To Be’ thinking of you. He got really drunk one day and said that he loved you more than anyone else ever could but Jaeduc took you away from him.”
“Jaeduc had no idea Jaejin was feeling this way. He couldn’t sleep for nights. He didn’t dump you because he doesn’t like you anymore. It was a hard decision. Think about it. He was possessive of you because he didn’t want anyone else to have you besides him. But he let you go because of Jaejin. Can you imagine how much pain it caused him? Why didn’t you ever consider that? It was harsher for him to leave you than it was for you.”
“He’s pretty much destroyed right now. I know his main motive was to get you and Jaejin together, but I’m not gonna allow that. He wanted us to keep our mouth shut, but I’m gonna have to explain to Jaejin soon. So stop toying with Jaejin and do as I say. Go back to Jaeduc. Tell him that you…”
“I,” interrupted Eunju, “I’m not going to do anything. These guys…. they are so inconsiderate! Why don’t they ever think of how I feel? I don’t want to ever see them again! Neither Jaejin oppa or Jaeduc…. I’m gonna go back to Pusan and just forget about them. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.” Her voice was shaky and her face was still pale.
“You will miss him like crazy. You know you do now. Otherwise you wouldn’t still wear his ring,” said Jiwon as he opened his palm. The ring was shining in his hand. Eunju opened her eyes wide.
“I thought you threw it away!”
“I wouldn’t do that. I want to let you and Jaeduc find happiness. And I also want SungEun to find happiness with Jaejin. They’re out together right now.
You’re not the one who should start your love over. Jaejin should. He should be freed from you. That’s what I mean by letting him go. Do you want him to suffer because of you for rest of his life? Do you want him to never get married, never date anyone, never fall in love with anyone else and just love you forever?”
Eunju shook her head.
“I’m the one who urged him to go out with SungEun. Of course I would want him to be happy.”
“Then go back to Jaeduc. You are important to him.”
[Couple days later]
“WHAT??!!!” yelled Jaeduc. “Who told you to do that? I told you to keep your mouth shut! I’m not seeing her today. Ahhhhh!!” Jaeduc screamed as SuWon, standing right next to Jiwon, choked him.
“Do as he says, hyung. I’ll murder you if you don’t. You’re not gonna make her cry anymore. Some ‘kisado’ you have. How dare you dump her like that?
You think Jaejin hyung would like it? You narrow minded, shallow, dumb moron!”
“OKay, okay! Let me go now!”
SuWon released his hands. Jaeduc let out a cough.
“I’m hungry,” said Jiyong, “let’s go eat!”
SuWon, SungHoon, JiWon, and JiYong all stood up. JaeDuc tried to tag along but SuWon pushed him back.
“What?! I want to go eat too!” protested JaeDuc.
“Shut up, you pig,” said JiWon, “you’re gonna wait until she comes.
Remember, no ditching!”
“Yes, yes,” added JiYong, “when she comes, you’re gonna take her out to a fancy restaurant. You’re gonna tell her, ‘I’m sorry, I still love you.’ And kiss her like this..” giggled JiYong as he mocked the gesture with SungHoon.
“Eww, get away! Anyway, if you don’t do as we say, I’m gonna get so mad at you. My sister likes JaeJin hyung. SungEun’s gonna ask JaeJin out today, and JaeJin can’t say no to her. So don’t you dare try to yield EunJu to him!” said SungHoon firmly. JaeDuc shouted, “This is a conspiracy! You guys…”
“See, she’s here already. Good luck!” said SuWon. JaeDuc gave the guys an evil look. JiYong went to open the door.
“Hey~ you look sexy today, Eunju,” commented JiYong.
“Shut up, GoJiYong! Don’t hit on her like that!” yelled JaeDuc as he rushed over and socked JiYong in the head, “All of you, get out!”
“Hi,” said EunJu shyly, “haven’t seen you in a while…”
She began touching his face.
“Does this hurt? It’s purple. Looks like it hurts a lot.” she asked.
Then she suddenly felt his arms pulling her, embracing her tightly.
“I’m so sorry…” whispered JaeDuc, “I was just being stupid. I can’t give you up, not even for JaeJin…”
“That’s why I think you are stupid,” said EunJu, “why didn’t you ever consider my feelings? You thought if you got away from me, I’d just stop liking you and go on a rebound with JaeJin?”
“Well… you almost did! You made JaeJin ditch my party.”
“It’s cuz I was jealous that you didn’t invite me. JaeJin’s my best friend too, you know, not only yours…. I’ve been closer to JaeJin than you have…”
“No you weren’t! I was!” objected JaeDuc as he unwrapped his arms from her.
“Yeah yeah. So what are we gonna do now?” asked EunJu.
“Well… I was thinking…. hold on,” responded JaeDuc as he searched his pocket.
“Found it!” said JaeDuc excitedly. It was a ring he was holding. EunJu’s face looked puzzled.
“I know it’s a cheap one, but it’s only an engagement ring… so~ when we get married later, I’ll give you a better one.”
“???” EunJu looked even more puzzled.
“Oh, I forgot to ask you, will you marry me?”
JaeDuc was smiling, but his demeanor was grave. He really meant it.
EunJu did not know how to react to this abrupt marriage proposal.
“Say, ‘Yes I will’.” said JaeDuc. EunJu still did not know how to respond.
In the midst of all this, they suddenly heard a noise….
When they turned around, there were JiYong, JiWon, SuWon, and SungHoon all piled above one another, like dominos.
“What the hell..??? Aren’t you guys supposed to be out?” questioned JaeDuc. His eyes were growing huge.
“Oww…!!!!! JiWon hyung, who told you open the door like that?” whined JiYong as he recovered from the pain and stood up.
“Sorry… guys. I wanted to say, hell no! EunJu, don’t say yes!” shouted JiWon.
“??? But hyung, you are the one who told me to..” said JaeDuc, confused.
“Idiot! I didn’t tell you to ask her to marry you! I only told you to get back with her!” yelled JiWon as he rubbed his head.
“Yes~ if you get married, what about Sechs Kies?” joined SuWon.
“You’re not gonna marry him, are you EunJu?” asked SungHoon.
“Yes, I will,” answered EunJu as she laughed.
“REALLY???” said JaeDuc excitedly. He had a big smile on his face.
“…In 5 years, I will.”
“Awwwwwww….. why not now?” JaeDuc seemed incredibly disappointed.
“Cuz your maturity level is awfully low.”
“Whahahahaha!! So true!” laughed JiWon, JiYong, SuWon, and SungHoon simulataneously. JaeDuc glared at them so they stopped.
“Just joking,” laughed EunJu, “but really, you just turned 21. Besides, like SuWon said, what about Sechs Kies? You’re not gonna disband the group, are you?”
JaeDuc understood but still seemed disappointed. His attention then turned to rest of the guys. He yelled at them, “What were you guys doing here still? Eavesdropping?! Huh?!”
“I gotta go. I have an appointment with JaeJin oppa pretty soon,” said EunJu. She then kissed JaeDuc on his bruised, plum-colored cheek and whispered in his ear, “I’ll be back soon.”
EunJu and JaeJin met at EunJu’s school, Seoul University. People couldn’t recognize JaeJin because he was wearing sunglasses plus an afro wig.
Instead, they stared at him and laughed as they passed by him. EunJu approached him and laughed as well.
“So~ how did it go?” asked JaeJin as he put his arm around EunJu’s shoulder.
“Well… alright. He asked me to marry him.”
“What did you say?”
“Of course no… how can I? He’s so immature! I like him and all but.. by the way, I think you punched him way too hard last night in the face. It was purple! Did you see?”
“Yeah.. well, he deserved it. Thinking so lowly of me… I couldn’t believe what I heard from JiWonee hyung. It was just too stupid and unbelievable. He dumped you because of me? I was about to laugh at that!”
“Hey, don’t make fun of that. It was a hard decision for him. Also a sweet gesture, I think. So how did it go with SungEun? Are you going out with her again?”
“Yeah. I think I’m starting to like her a lot more than the last time…. not that I still don’t like you or anything, but.. after realizing something, I think I can start a ‘real’ love now with someone who likes me back.”
“Oh, what is it that you realized?”
“That I truly like JaeDuc a lot and I can’t bear to see him sad. His life isn’t a life without you. That’s why I couldn’t date you after you guys broke up.”
“Oh…. so are you guys okay now? No more punching and fighting?”
“Nope. And I also realized that you and I are Not Meant To Be. Just like the lyrics I wrote. We never were, we aren’t, and we never will be. I knew it before, but it was still difficult. But I think I can start to detach my soul from you now. What do you think about that?”
EunJu kissed him lightly on the lips. JaeJin looked surprised.
“That was a good-bye kiss,” replied EunJu, “but we are still best friends, right?”
“No,” answered JaeJin. EunJu frowned in confusion.
“You are my best friend’s future wife, that’s what you are. And I’ll be JaeDuc’s best man at his wedding. When is it? Million years from now? It probably will take that long for him to get mature.”
“Haha! Very true… ” laughed EunJu.
“But he loves you all the same. I have to go now, I have a date with SungEun,” said JaeJin as he got his arm off EunJu’s shoulder.
“Oh, before I leave,” added JaeJin as he handed her a cassette tape, “listen to this on your way home, alright? Bye.”
He then walked away happily. EunJu continued to look at his back, until he disappeared from her sight.
‘I’m glad you found your happiness.’
EunJu thought to herself as she smiled. She went to her car and started driving while listening to the tape JaeJin gave her.
Part XX: Epilogue
~From the first day I saw you,
I knew I had to love you for rest of my life.
Seeing you smile was my happiness,
Watching you being sad was my pain.
As we grew up,
I began loving you more and more.
I have been loving you for so long
But you left me.
Something tells me
That we are Not Meant To Be.
I wish for your happiness nonetheless
But everytime I do that I’m even more destroyed
But what can I do,
Besides letting you go?
I’m only letting you go
Because I know that we are
Not Meant To Be.
EunJu smiled as she listened to this song. It was an extremely sad and painful song to listen to, but she listened to it all the way. Then it started to rain hard.
At the same time, JaeJin was watching the rain while waiting for SungEun. He was listening to the same song.
When it stopped raining, the sun shined brightly. JaeJin then smiled as he saw the sun.
“I was always your sunshine after the rain….”
He then saw SungEun coming out. He started the car.
“But now I will be her sunshine.”