To Keep You Forever by: Jaymes

to keep you forever.JPG

  • a Hoony fanfic
  • completed

Chapter 1
“Being a German agent isn’t what it used to be. Life used to be full of some grace and elegance. But the war has ended that. I have to say there’s nothing I hate more about Thailand than the stinky hot weather, especially when you’re in the middle of a world war,” I complained.

“Well, Yeon In, as soon as we get this stinking war over with, you’ll have all the treasures of the Orient,” he was trying to butter me up with his German accent. He knew I was a sucker for strong jaws and foreign accents.

Actually I’m not even German, I’m Korean. Redriech and I studied criminology back in the Royal University of Berlin four years before Redriech was ordered into the German intelligence and I couldn’t bare to see him go off to war without me. Neither of us believed in the German cause, after all, didn’t Hitler, our fearless Chancellor despise all races except the German one? All I wanted to do was to be with the love of my life, and he felt the same.

“When will the commander give us our orders,” I asked as I leaned on his shoulder.

“Soon. You mustn’t worry about me,” Redriech always could read my mind. I would never let him go on his own missions. Besides, it was I who taught him Tae Kwon Do. He taught me boxing.

“I know, but isn’t it the duty of a wife to worry about her husband,” I asked playfully. Redriech grinned.

“The bleach is coming out of your hair,” he remarked.

“Ya. I’ll have to find some peroxide.”

“No, I like your black hair better. I like having the thought of having caught an exotic fish,” he joked as he ran his fingers through my locks of platinum hair.

“Who caught who,” I joked.

When we arrived at our underground headquarters (American spies were everywhere and so we had no choice but to go underground), everyone seemed to be in a frenzy.

Apparently the headquarters had been under raid for the last week, and had been lucky enough to have captured the American spies leading the raid. Obviously we had to move and start all over.

As for our mission, that had to be executed as soon as possible, before the documents were burn.

We couldn’t leave any important documents behind. When Redriech and I were lead into the commander’s office, he was just interrogating one of the spies.

“God damn it man! Do you or do u not wish to live?! Tell me where the F#$%ing Hell is your headquarters!” We heard the commander shouting in Thai. The commander was obviously upset.

His anger and frustration was evident in the bruises on the prisoner’s face.

“Commander Redkoff?” Redriech asked, informing the commander of our presence. Redriech dispised violence. The commander seemed surprised and fearful as he looked around to see us.

“General Von Borge. Frau Von Borge,” he said as he quickly saluted us.

“What seems to be the problem,” asked Redriech.

“This Thai man was captured trying to escape the company that attacked us, sir. I’m trying to ask him to release the location of the American headquarters, sir!” The German army must have sent him before he could finish training, he was such a nervous man, even his little Hitler mustache look-alike twitched with irritation.

“Private, please escort Frau Von Borge to the secretary’s office.”

“But, Sir,” I began to protest. Although he knew quite well that I myself have had to torture prisoners, he still protected me from seeing his methods of persuasion. Redriech only had to give me a stern look, and of course I obeyed. I hated myself for that the most. Whatever he wanted, I was willing to crawl on my knees to get it for him. I guess that’s what people call love.

As I waited in the secretary’s office I could hear the screams of the prisoner. This one must have a been a strong one. Redriech is notorious for his persuasive nature. Everyone was hurrying to burn and destroy documents, as well as packing up more important ones. I felt so alone, so hopeless.

This war would never end, I thought. I didn’t want to think about all the crimes I had committed against humanity, or all the death and suffering outside the dirt walls of the headquarters. So I tried to recall the first time I met Redriech. Suddenly, all the shouting and screams stopped. The door opened and Redriech walked out shaking the prisoner’s hand. Once again, victory for General Von Borge, I thought with a grin. He turned around and grinned at me.

When we moved into the second underground headquarters (there was always another one for back up), our new orders were already waiting for us. So the Commander, the officers, Redriech,and I held a meeting in Redriech’s new office.

“NO! I said no! I will not allow it!” Redriech shouted.

“General, these orders come from headquarters in Berlin. You have no jurisdiction…”

“Heir Stregoff, would you allow your wife into a whore house,” Redriech asked with great conviction. The lieutenant remained silent.

“Certainly not,” answered Commander Frederick, “But we are at war sir. Your wife is not above the cause of Greater Germany.’

“Commander, what rank are you,” Redriech asked with fire in his eyes and arrogance in his tone. I knew I had no choice but to follow the orders, not for my sake but for Redriech’s. Many officers and soldiers respect him not just because he has shown a natural sense for command, but also because he is the son of a great general. And for those reasons he was commanded to be a general in the intelligence headquarters. As his wife, it was my duty to see that his career only aspire into greatness. I couldn’t let him down. So, I stood up, and conjured up all my strength. And with the most serious tone of voice, I said, “General it is my duty and privilege to fulfill the mission assigned to me by the great nation of Germany.”

Redriech was about to protest, but he knew that I was just as stubborn as he. There was no way I would let him talk me out of this one, and he knew it.

So reluctantly, fearfully, and painfully, he gave me my orders. “Frau Von Borge, you are here by ordered to be stripped of uniform and to take the disguise of a prostitute in the vicinity of Hong Dang Fah(the Red Sky Room). Your mission is to penetrate the American commanding officer, Kang Sung Hoon and the American headquarters located at his estate in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Use all means of persuasion of which you, a woman, have the power of accomplishing!”

Chapter 2
“Ah ha! I win again!”
“Sheadup Eun Ji Won! If you weren’t my best friend and the best fortune hunter, I’d smack you across the face.”

There he was, the shorter of the two men at the poker table, surrounded by beautiful women. So this is the loser, I thought to myself. Redriech had said to use my feminine charm, only problem is, I’ve never even attempted to use my female charm on ANY guy before. Redriech and I had been long time friends before he decided to make his move, and ask me out. All that training for this, a mermaid ball gown and red lipstick. But I had no choice, I wasn’t doing this for me, this was for Redriech. So, I summoned up all my courage and swayed my hips toward Sung Hoon’s table.

“Come on Sung Hoon, you lost, you have to drink up.”

“Yea, drink up,” chirped one of the Thai hookers sitting on Sung Hoon’s lap.

“Eh? Sunisa, you bad girl; you just wanna get me drunk so you can sleep with me and steal all my money huh,” asked Sung Hoon, obviously already drunk. Sunisa giggled, as Sung Hoon pinched her cheeks. “Oh Sung Hoon, you’re so bad.”

I had to turn around pretending to throw up- it was just too disgusting for me. God, I can’t believe I have to seduce this imbecile. I had to get a drink before I tried to make my move. I had no choice but to continue with the mission. I was closely guarded by two other agents, disguised as my clients. Three days into the mission, I was just scoping out the situation. Getting the info about the vicinity, as well as the frequent American clients. Sung Hoon, was obviously one of these fortune hunter playboys.

I couldn’t believe he was a commanding officer in the American secret intelligence. If this was a sample of the American competence, then the war would end soon. Sung Hoon was nothing more than an Asian drunkard, with his intelligence tied to the split inbetween his pants. How could the Americans BEGIN to believe they could hold down the war in the East? I almost laughed aloud thinking this to myself. Then I heard a loud crash, Sung Hoon had fallen off his chair, and landed on the floor- drooling and giggling loudly. This was my chance, I didn’t have to sleep with the guy, just make him think we did. So I made my move.

“Tai Tai (OMIGOD)! Nai Kang Ka (Mr. Kang)! Tur pen arai reu plaow kah (Are you all right or not),” I asked in a nasal, feminine voice. He looked up from his giggles. His mouth dropped open, like a codfish. I faked a really BIG smile, hoping it was authentic looking enuf, and sweetly inviting as well. After all, it was all part of my disguise.

I helped him to his feet as his open mouth quickly turned into a huge colgate grin.

“So, ugh, ugh, ugh -hiccup!- What’s your name -hiccup!-,” he asked falling to the floor again.

“Soi Fawn (Beautiful Rain),” I answered timidly, as he held me tightly in his arms. God, at times like these I wonder what Redriech could be doing- going on a secret mission without me, perhaps.

But I had to put these thoughts aside for the moment. I needed to concentrate on the matter at hand, the dope, Kang Sung Hoon.

“Ow (Dang)! Such a pretty name, just like it’s owner,’ he said with an equally saccharine voice through his giggles. Then I giggle, I almost died right there. I was acting sooooo detestably, but what could I do, this was for Redriech.

So I led him into my room and there I gave him more wine, hoping he would be so drunk I could question him. But when I did question him, his answers made no sense.

~~~ 20 questions later ~~~

“So you’re an American,” I asked casually.

“Ya, I’m 100% Yankee, hee hee.”

“Oh, so great! You fly the big planes to bomb Japanese camps,” I asked trying to veil the questions.

“Hee hee, ya I fly on Japanese plamps.”

I was beginning to see this was going no where. I sighed deeply frustrated and angry with myself for having gotten into this mess. Sung Hoon seemed to sense my irritation, and handed me a glass of wine. I gladly accepted– I needed something to calm down my nerves, no thanks to him.

The next thing I knew it was morning, and I felt a draft. Then, as I stretched, I realized I wasn’t home in my own bed. I looked down….. and ,to my horror, I found myself naked, covered only with a blanket. Then I felt someone beside me stir. I braced myself for the worst nightmare I could possibly imagine. Slowly I turned to my head to my side………


“Kang Sung Hoon Sir! Huh……. Oi I’m not in high school anymore,” Sung Hoon said as he rubbed his eyes.

Chapter 3
“OMIGOD! How did I end up here?!” Sung Hoon had just realized he was not in high school, I assume he had been dreaming of high school. He seemed shocked to find himself in my room, naked.

“Ah!” I had sat up and wrapped myself in the blanket- leaving Sung Hoon to cover himself with only his pillow.

Sung Hoon blushed, as I screamed in surprise to see him in his birthday suit. “Uh, sorry,’ he said as he scratched his head.

“Alright look, let’s just forget this happened ok, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you.”

“So that’s how you ladies of the night handle it?”

“What do you mean? Shouldn’t you know,” I asked raising my eyebrow.

“Ugh…. actually, I’ve never been with a woman before,” he said timidly as his shoulders shrank down.

I couldn’t believe it! Last night, he was scandously flirting with other women– what a liar! A virgin my FOOT! He must have sensed my disblief, maybe it was my raised eyebrow, or the cold frown.

“I can swear on a stack of Bibles,” he exclaimed, raising his left hand and placing his right hand over his heart. I had to chuckle at his earnesty. He must have been please to see me smile, because a huge grin gleamed from his face.

From that moment, and while we got dressed, I told him my life story. How I was sexually abused by my stepfather at age 12. I had run away from home, the mountains east of Chiang Mai. How I was forced into the entertainment trade at age 16, never allowed to return home, or seek freedom.

Of course I made him close his eyes all as I dressed. Then, to my surprise, he made me do the same. Here we were, both adults acting like high school freshmen losing their virginity. It was actually quite ridiculous.

“What’s so funny? Are you peeking,” Sung Hoon asked suspicously.

“No I’m not I shouted.” I know this is a blunt question but, how old are you,” I inquired.

“Who me? I’m 26, why? How old are you,” he asked in between zipping his pants, and fixing his belt.

“Oh, I’m 26, too.”


“Why would I lie, I’ve got nothing to hide,” I said crossing my fingers behind my back. Only that I’m a spy, I said to myself.

“Oh sure that’s why you’re crossing your fingers behind your back, and your toes in your shoes,”

He said laughing. Gosh, I thought, how did he know, he was in the bathroom. Then he laughed outloud as he saw the puzzled look on my face. “Ready,” he asked.

“For what?”

“Well aren’t you gonna atleast show me the way out? Unless…. you want me to stay.”

“You can’t afford to.”

“Which reminds me, where exactly can I get my reciept– you know just in case I want a refund or exchange,” he joked.

I rolled my eyes, which made him laugh. “Just give me the money, if they don’t get the money I’m the one who’ll get a beating,” I said playfully as I opened my hand in front of him. But SungHoon’s smile faded as I uttered those words.

“They beat you?”

“Yea, just every once in a while to remind us who’s boss.” Of course I was being sarcastic, but Sung Hoon didn’t take it very lightly. He suddenly grabbed me (which gave me a slight pang of fear) and began to lift up my shirt.

“What are you doing,” I demanded.

“How can you take this so lightly? Have they beaten you lately,” he asked in a most serious tone.

“Oh no, I was just kidding,” trying to hide my moment of panic. Sung Hoon on the other hand sighed, almost as if he was relieved. This deeply distrubed me, I hadn’t expected him to act so differently the morning after; and even more so when he was sober.

He hadn’t let go of me as I walked him to the front doors. But as soon as I turned my back he shouted hello to the owner, the Thai man Redriech had bribed to keep loyalty to us. I watched from the grand stair case as Sung Hoon and the owner talked. I couldn’t hear, but I was fearful the man would give me away.

But, to my surprise, he and Sung Hoon just laughed and shook hands. Then Sung Hoon left, after blowing me a kiss. I blew one back, even though inside I was utterly disgusted.

“Well, you must be happy,” the owner asked me from the foot of the stair case.

“What are you talking about,” I had no idea what he was yapping about.

“Your mission, it’s over, I just sold you to that fool over there.”

I lost balance suddenly and almost fell off the stairs. “SOLD?! Do you have any idea….”

“I’m sorry, tell your buddies to get out while your at it. I’m a businessman, too, you know. I’m not stupid enough to walk away from $2 million baht!”

I almost choked on my saliva. “$2 MILLION BAHT! He bought me for $2 MILLION….”

“Ya, get your things and wait for his limo driver. That’s exactly what you wanted isn’t it,” the dirty man asked.

It WAS what we wanted– to penetrate the American intelligence headquarters. I was appalled, how could he just BUY ME! He didn’t even consult me! What an arrogant, self-righteous,pompous…. ooooo I could kill him! I would have called him more names in my mind, but one of my German agents, broke my train of thought as he prepared to report to Redriech of our success. REDRIECH! How could I EVER face him after ~~~ shudders ~~~.

Suddenly it felt like a symphony of anvils landed on my head. How could I report to my HUSBAND, that I had used my “female charms” to penetrate the enemy? O GOD forgive me!

Then I began to panic, I had just been bought. What the hell did that mean? What was I supposed to do now? O merciful heaven, what was I to do now.

“Frau Von Borge, the General commands that you proceed with the mission,” reported the agent after he finished talking over the phone.

“Ya, understood. Did the commander have any else to say to me? Why didn’t he give me the orders himself?”

“The General said he was preoccupied with more important matters at the moment,” a cold reply that struck me deeply; I was just too scared, at the moment, to really let it sink in.

“Madame Sai Fon?” Sung Hoon offered his hand as I stepped out of the limousine, and onto the drive way of his estate. “Welcome home.”

Chapter 4
~note: sorry but in the last chapter I typed the name of the main character as Sai Fon, but
actually it was supposed to say Soi Fawn. Sorry for any confusion and any fobbiness on
my prt. ~ jaymes

I was about to ask why he had called me “Madame” and not “Mademoiselle,” but luckily
for me, I quickly remembered who I was “pretending” to be. No mountain person,
especially a prostitute would EVER know how to speak French. Actually, I don’t know
how to speak French, but I do know the difference between a “Madame” and a

As I looked up to the exquisite roof tops I was astounded at the beauty of the Thai roof
top. I had expected a playboy mansion in the latest fashion. But Sung Hoon’s house was
an absolutely the opposite. It was incredible. Like most Thai houses, it was held up on
large planks of wood, to avoid the monsoon seasons- when the rain wouldn’t stop

The land surrounding it was everything exotic and tropical, it was as if the modern city
was built around this one lush green spot, kept solely for conserving natural beauty. The
mahogany walls were engraved with intricate scenes of Thai history. The roof tops seem
to glow with golden dragons overhead.

When we entered the house I was even more amazed to see Sung Hoon’s impeccable
taste. There were hardly glass windows, only open spaces covered with panels of carved
Chinese art. Huge Ching Dynasty vases; Han Dynasty portraits of Generals and their
concubines hung on walls; and the rooms were drowned with white and purple orchids
hanging from decorated pots.

Sung Hoon seemed pleased that I was gawking, with admiration, at everything I saw. He
smiled at me as he took my bags from me and showed me to my room.

“Well how do you like it here,” he asked with a brilliant smile.

“It’s not anything I expected, that’s for sure,” I answered as he walked towards me.

“Well I hope that means you like it cuz it’s yours,” he announced. An announcement that
almost sent me a heart attack. Fearful he would try to put the moves on me, I stepped
backwards. After all, I was already married. The night before was one that I would
NEVER be able to live with. I knew sooner or later I would have to explain myself to
Redriech- most likely as soon as I could report to him.

Sung Hoon didn’t seem to get my message of retreat, as he walked right up to me and
reached for my hands. We were against the wall now– I guess I took more than just a
“couple” of steps backwards–. Then he stroked my hair and sighed.

“Look, I know you care for me as much as you care for your other clients. Which is: not
at all, to say to the least,” he said, looking only at my hands. “I’m not like every other guy
though, I was taught to uphold honor, even after death. I didn’t guard myself that night;
and you definitely don’t need to get pregnant without anyone to support you or the baby.
Besides, I don’t want them to beat you because of my indiscretion.”

Then, as if I was in a horrible nightmare, he pulled out a small, velvet, heart shape box. As he opened the box to reveal a 3 carat diamond solitaire surrounded by two bands of
rubies, he whispered, “I’ve never loved anyone, because no one has ever loved me. So I
don’t expect you to love me, or take me seriously when I say that can easily play the part
of a loving husband.”

I was shocked beyond imagination. FIRST, he takes advantage of me when I’m drunk,
making me guilty of infidelity. SECOND, he BUYS ME; as if I were a piece of cake you
could just pick out at the baker! AND THIRD, he doesn’t even ASK me to marry him–
he TELLS me I HAVE to marry him– not because he loves me, but because it would put
a dent in his “clean” record? Not only that he even openly admits to NOT loving me!

“Look here, I’m not some charity case that you picked up. I know what I’m worth. OK so
maybe I AM just an dirty woman– no HOOKER, that doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of
love,” I shouted, pulling away my hands from this lips. I was just about to storm outta of
the entire estate, forgetting the real reason I had actually agreed to go live with Sung
Hoon in the first place. I was steaming with rage. Who was he to act so “mercifully,” so
“benevolently” to this poor hooker? I wasn’t a hooker! I was one of Germany’s TOP
secret agents. And not only that, I was ALREADY married to the one of the most highly
respected Generals of the Intelligence Operations in Germany. I couldn’t take another
moment of insults from this pompous gigolo.

Unfortunately I never even made it the door, Sung Hoon was much quicker than I.

“Aow(Dang). Mai ow nah (don’t be like that),” he said ever so softly, holding my hands

“Don’t think of it that way. I didn’t necessarily BUY you ok? It’s just that you’re my first,
and I feel responsible for you.” I gave him a look of irritation. “You ARE worth more
than others, you’ve suffered enough for it, trust me I know, my mother was a
concubine….” his voice trailed, almost cracking with tears. He looked away. “She didn’t
ask my father for pity, just responsibility for me. She didn’t get it until after went crazy
and burned herself to death,” he explained as he allowed beads of tears fall from his
twinkling eyes.

I was almost so touched enough to forget where I was, my mission, just so that I could
comfort him. But, reality bit me just before I could give him my sympathy. I pulled away
from his embrace.

“Pretend love isn’t the same as true love, Sung Hoonie,” I explained with a whisper.

“True love, so is that what you want,” he asked, quickly changing the mood. “Well then,
how’s about you use me until you find Mr. True Love,” he asked with a mischievous grin.
I laughed at his little waddle and big grin. But in my mind I was telling myself, “I have
found him, Redriech.”

What could I do though? I was instructed by my “True Love” to penetrate the American
CIA Headquarters. Which definitely meant mapping out the estate for a possible raid. So I agreed to marrying him. After all, I thought, I’m not really Soi Fawn Rathaisunie, I’m
Frau Yeon In Von Borge (Mrs. Yeon In Von Borge), a legal citizen of Germany, making
it unlawful to be married with a fraudulent identity. No problem, I thought; it would only
be a matter of weeks before I found out the American, and most likely the Allied Powers’,
defenses in South East Asia. Then I could return to my beloved Redriech, giving him even
more prestige and respectability for my duties to him as a wife and a German agent.
“Have you news Agent Von Borge,” Redriech asked over the phone.

I was using the pay phone at the market, too many days had passed since I had actually
talked to Redriech, and now that there were no agents with me, I could report to him

“I’m in. Redriech……. I….. forgive me….”

“Agent Von Borge, we are at war. I have put aside all inferior feelings that would hold
back our operation. I am well aware of your situation and the conditions to which you
have embarked upon, and Germany appreciates all your sacrifices for the greater cause,”

Redriech cut short my explanation. I had planned to tell him the whole truth, to explain
myself. But, he obviously wouldn’t allow me that opportunity. His cold answer silenced
me. I was too hurt that he seemed so indifferent to my feelings. He didn’t seem worried
about me at all, which is something I have never felt from him before. Redriech may be
reserved, hide his true feelings, but I felt so distant from him, now.

“Agent Von Borge? Yeon In,” I heard him ask. “I’m counting on you, don’t let me down.
Right now you are Germany’s instrument to victory.” Then he spoke to me in Korean (he
had insisted on learning it when we first met), “I just wanna get this over with.” His way
of saying he didn’t want to see me suffering any longer. It was always the little things he
said that strengthened my complete love and trust in him.

Several months would pass before I could actually begin to make an extensive report of
ALL off Sung Hoon’s estate. I never knew how huge it was. Everyday I would take a
walk around the gardens, keeping a record of possible raid routes to his estate from the
mountainous walls surrounding it to the mansion itself. All the while I could only talk to
my Redriech over the phone, or through letters passed to me in the market (letters which I destroyed before I got to SungHoon’s estate). I missed Redriech more than any words
could every express, but I had no choice but to press on with the mission.
Plu-ehk! I had gotten sick over the months of my stay with Sung Hoon. We slept in
separate beds, even though we were married, and we had that one night before our pseudo marriage. I was throwing up EVERY morning, which wore me out so bad I couldn’t get up in the morning sometimes.

“Tai lah(dang it)! That’s it I’m calling for a doctor,” declared Sung Hoon.

“No… I’m fine, my stomach’s just not wanting to be nice to me that’s all,” I didn’t want to
bother with doctors for something so trivial.

“Heck nah, I’m not gonna stand by anymore and let you lay around all lazy,” he joked.

“We need you to be up and about, earn your food.” I laughed at his sullungness. Finally I
had to agree, he was always coaxing me into doing something, that reminds me of
Redriech sometimes, and his persuasive ways.
When the doctor was finally finished giving me a shot, Sung Hoon eagerly asked what was wrong with me. Then doctor smiled, and asked that Sung Hoon step outside. Sung Hoon became irritated.
“NO! I don’t wanna leave. Why should I leave,” he demanded, angrily. “I’m her husband
and I have a right to know why my wife is sick. There’s no need for secrecy here, I here to take care of her, shoot.”

“Sung Hoon,” I said weakly, “listen to the doctor, just stay outside….” But before I could
finish he cut me short.

“Noooooooo,” he pouted. “You want me to go crazy outside while he talks to you inside
your room?”

“Fine, fine, doctor please just tell US what’s wrong with me then.”

“WELL, it’s not very polite of me to say so here in front of both of you. But since you
both insist on it……. Mrs. Kang, you might want to start making little booties.”

Chapter 5
“Booties,” I asked.

“Yes,” replied the doctor.

Sung Hoon and I exchanged puzzled looks. Why would I need small little socks for
babies? Then we looked at the doctor, who, in turn, rolled his eyes at us. As if we knew
what the hell he was yapping about.

“Chai (yes)! You know for little babies,” he replied with a big smile.

“Yea, we know but………..” then it hit me, why I had been so sick these last THREE

“O, so she needs to keep her feet warm. But why so small,” asked Sung Hoon pressing his
index finger against his lower lip. Then after a min, he fell straight to the floor.

“SUNG HOON!?” I sat up to see if he was all right. Sung Hoon had just realized that we
were going to have a baby, and evidently fainted on the spot. I had to get out of bed and
make sure he hadn’t hit something on his way down to the floor.
“BABY?!” Sung Hoon was hysterical when he finally awoke from his unconsciousness.
He scanned the room and when he found me he grabbed my hands. “We’re gonna….
omigod…. I’m gonna be a dddddd..addy?!” And with that he almost fainted again.

“O no, not this time,” I didn’t want to watch him faint again. And this is the
“commanding” officer of the CIA operations in Thailand? Psht, I thought to myself.

Why was God so unfair? Here I am, the wife of a COMPETENT General, and I’m stuck
with this idiot’s baby. Lord, if you have any mercy in your backbone, PLEASE, PLEASE
let the baby be like me. All these thoughts filled my head and heart with raging hate for
Sung Hoon. If only I hadn’t been caught off my guard, then I wouldn’t be in this mess.
Life was now over for me. Redriech would never accept this baby. Why would he accept
the son of our enemy? My heart shattered into a million pieces. I glared at Sung Hoon,
with his huge grin. This was my enemy, the father of my baby. I hate you, Kang Sung

After I got Sung Hoon to get off his natural high, I returned to my bed and fell asleep.
Slipping into a deep slumber, only to suffer a horrible nightmare. The American spies had sent out the whereabouts of the big Japanese camp in Chaing Mai. Now, the Bombers
would be out here for blood, Japanese and German blood.

I was running, frightened beyond immagination. I could feel my head swell with blood.
Redriech! Where was Redriech? It was so foggy, so dense that I couldn’t find him the
mist. I called out for him, I tried so hard to find him. But I couldn’t. God damn it I just
couldn’t find him. Then, I saw “him,” Sung Hoon. He was running towards me in slow
motion, the next thing I knew he suddenly changed gears into normal speed, and grabbed my arm.

“Why are we running,” I asked him.

“Because, the evil Germans are out to get us. We have to run, or we’ll lose each other,”
he said without even glancing at me.

BOOM! Then without warning, I saw Sung Hoon slowly to the ground.
“SUNG HOON!” I screamed.

He was covered in so much blood. It was all over him. My heart began to flood with fear
and pain, as I watched him try to say something to me. But he was in so much pain he
couldn’t utter a sound. Holding him in my arms, I could feel his pain rush through my
veins and stab at my heart. NO! He can’t die. Not my Sung Hoonie. Then I heard
Redriech– I could hear him calling me from the distance.

“Redriech,” I called out to him. Over and over I called out to him. Then a figured walked
towards me and Sung Hoon’s body. It was Redriech! His face was dark with anger. I
knew he was angry with me.

“Redriech? Go ahead, just kill me. I’ve done you a great wrong,” I begged as he raised his
pistol to my head. I closed my eyes tightly, awaiting my death, but he didn’t fire. Opening
my eyes, I saw him standing over me– his hands trembling. He seemed so hurt, so much
agony written all over his beautiful face. I had done all this to and for him. My mission
was for him, it was never for me.

“Shoot!” commanded him. So he lifted the pistol and fired a single shot. But not at me.

Suddenly, Sung Hoon’s body jerked upward, as if he had just been stung by a sudden
blow. Redriech had not shot me, but Sung Hoon!

“Fawn, Fawn!”

“Wha… SUNG HOONIE! Your alive!” I clung onto him as hard as I could. I couldn’t let
my dream go, if this was dream. He wasn’t dead. If he had to die in my dreams, then the
only thing I could do was to hold onto my him in my dream.
“Hey, hey,” he whispered softly. I had taken him by surprise, but his raised arms quickly
moved to comfort me. “It’s ok. It was just a dream. See, your dorko Sung Hoon is still

I wouldn’t believe him at first, so I had to look at his face– make sure it was him. I
hugged him, and pressed my cheek against his chest– make sure he was real.

I began to cry; not because I was glad to see him alive, but because I knew that this wasn’t going to last forever. It wasn’t a nightmare, it was the future. The German government would never let him go, never. I must find a way to spare his life; he was the father of my child. I had a duty to him, just as I have a duty to my Redriech.
Dear Sir,
By the time you have read this letter, I will have met my parents in heaven, or hell– which ever one that my family is in is ok with me. Although I am dead, I have served you, my friend, with all methods humanly possible. I have but one last request of you. That is to help my baby daughter and my wife to escape Thailand. The Japanese have yet to take Singapore, so they can land safely there. Before they can sail to Africa, and then onward to the United States. I know it is inconcievable for a mere servant to ask his master to risk it all for his servant. Master Sung Hoon, I have given you my life, I know that you will repay me in this lifetime and not in the next.
Your humble servant and friend, Chai.

“Sung Hoon?”

“Aow(oh), Fawn. Go back to sleep.”

“I can’t. U know, I realize now that this is your baby because it’s been buggin me all
night,” I joked but Sung Hoon didn’t laugh. He was preoccupied with a letter, written in
what seemed to be dark red ink. “What is it,” I asked.

“It’s my missing servant, Chai. They found his body floating in the river,” Sung Hoon
replied holding up the piece of paper. “He left me a note. Apparently, he was working for
the American’s as a spy. The note was written in his blood. Evidently, German spies
tortured him into saying that I was the commanding officer of the CIA. And now, they’ve
gotten a spy into our house.” SungHoon, in frustration, crumpled the note and threw it
across the room . I could feel the blood flowing in my veins freeze. What if he knew,
would he kill me and his baby right here? I picked up the note and read it’s contents. I was relieved to find that the end only read:

P.S. A spy has penetrated your estate, get out ASAP.

“You can read English?”

Oh no, I’m busted. “Uh…. no, but it’s not a crime to look is it?”

Sung Hoon smiled. “If they jailed you, I’d bust you out no matter what crime you
committed,” he said with a sheepish grin.

“Lucky me,” I replied sarcastically. Inside I was saying, “Whew! He doesn’t suspect me.”

Then he explained the letter to me. All this time, he realized that my Thai was too formal
to be from the mountains, as I had claimed to be. I guess that’s why he’s a “City Boy!”I
smiled to myself at this joke.

“What,” Sung Hoon asked suspiciously.

“Hm, o nothing.”

“Ya, ya, ya,” he smiled at me. Then I turned to go to my bedroom, when ,suddenly, he
grabbed my hand. Sung Hoon got up from the table and stroked my hair. He smiled
sheepishly at my puzzled expression, but his smile faded.

“Are you happy with me,” he asked out of the blue.

I was surprised by the abrupt question. “What do you mean ‘with you’?”

“I mean,” he began as he pulled me onto his lap, “are you happy living here with me. Are
you happy that you’re having my baby, and not someone else’s baby?”

I didn’t want to tell him the truth. I didn’t want to say, “No, I hate you for giving me more
stress on this mission. Redriech will banish me from his life forever.” But I didn’t feel like
lying to him, either.

“Sung Hoon, I’ve never once thought that we were married for love. You said so

“Oh,” this was a scary answer coming from him. Usually he would tease me after having
answered his questions. This time he was silent after I answered him. This disturbed me. In that split second he seemed to have built a brick wall between us.

“Oi,” I twinged with pain.

“What, is something wrong,” Sung Hoon asked with fear in his eyes.

“Nothing, it’s just that your baby wants to come out. He’s been kicking me all day.”

“Can I see,” he asked with twinkling, puppy dog eyes.

I took his hand and put it on my swollen belly. Sung Hoon’s smile seemed to get larger
with every kick. He was so happy to be a father. I wished with all my heart that he was
Redriech. That it was Redriech who was happy to be the father of our child. Sung Hoon
laid his cheek against my belly and smiled.

“I love you,” he said to the baby. Then, he turned his head up to face me. His huge brown
eyes met with mine, and he said to me, “Fawn, I’m happy with you.”

Chapter 6
Sung Hoon’s words sent my head spinning. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me.
We’re enemies, I thought. This play has gone far enough. I was already pregnant, what
more did I need to do to keep my true identity on the down low? Besides, it was Sung
Hoon, himself, who had profess that he didn’t love me. That he only married me out of
guilt and duty.

“What do you mean,” I asked as my temper began to rise beyond my head.

“I mean, that life my life has changed because of you,” he replied. “Before you, I only had
to worry about me. Sure, I didn’t do all the crazy things most people think I have. But,
now that I have you, I have what money hasn’t bought me, happiness. I’m not gonna say
that I love you, don’t worry. I know you don’t love me. It’s just that, well….. you make
me happy. That’s all.”

I don’t know why, but his words struck my heart like a torpedo. Beads of tears streamed
down my face. No one has ever touched my heart in such a way before, not even
Redriech. Oh sure, Redriech would shower me with tender, loving, affection; but he’s
never told me that my mere presence made him happy.

“Did I say something wrong, Fawn?”

I couldn’t answer. How could I? What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to say:
yes, everything you say is wrong; or yes, you jerk, you’ve ruined my life with Redriech; or yes, I hate you for getting me pregnant; or yes, you make me happy, too? I couldn’t tell
him anything, because everything that I should say would kill my mission. Everything in
my mind was a dead give away.

“Sung Hoonie….. I’ve been trained to make men happy, remember,” I tried to strengthen
my role.

“Ya, I know. But the past is the past. No matter what you past, or ur future is, you’re here
with me right now; and that’s all that matters to me.” Then he smiled at me, kissed me
good night, and headed to his room.

“Fawn ah, I don’t expect you to love me back.”

I looked at the floor. How can you do this to me?! Don’t you know that “I” am the
German spy in your house. “I” am the one who has turned in the plans of attack on your
house. Sung Hoon, you idiot. why did I have to care about you? So what if your the father
of my child! It’s too late– I’ve already sent the blue prints of your estate to Redriech, my
true husband………. God, forgive me.
We were now in Bangkok, on a business trip. Sung Hoon had yet another mansion in
Bangkok. There was to be a BIG celebration for the birthday of Buddha tonight, and so I
was still in the kitchen packing some snacks for us, as if tonight would be just like any
other night. But it wouldn’t be. Tonight would be the night Redriech and our men would
raid Sung Hoon’s house, and take any important documents. Eight full months had passed, and yet it seemed as though no matter how hard we tried to tail him, or try entering the house, our efforts were fruitless. They had waited for this particular day, when we’d be out of the house to break in. Redriech had ordered me present to not be at the house to protect me and the baby from harm.

Strangely, I didn’t think Sung Hoon had ANYTHING in the house. I should know, I’ve
been searching through EVERYTHING for the past eight months! Then there is the issue
of Sung Hoon’s character. He was NOTHING like what I expected of a COMMANDING
officer. The man fainted at the news of his baby for Christ’s sake! He NEVER spoke
against the war. In fact, the only reason he was in Thailand was to make a profit off the
war! He sold weapons to rebel Thai forces against the Japanese. And when was
the last time anyone EVER heard of a CIA agent using a “Rose Plantation Owner” as a
cover? He was definitely an American citizen, I read his certificate. However nothing
seemed to add up. I had a horrible, gut feeling that Chai, Sung Hoon’s servant had lied to
us,for sure. If that were true, all our efforts would have been for nothing; and the REAL
CIA agent would be roaming out there somewhere, laughing at us perhaps.

I packed a lot of food. Hey we may be raiding the house tonight, and arresting Sung
Hoon, but this baby is craving food, and I’m not about to deny the little devil anything.
Suddenly, the baby gave me a hard kick. So hard, I feel to my knees.

“Oi, what’s wrong with you tonight,” I asked my baby. I wish this thing would come out
already. Aish maybe it was all these thoughts. Maybe my baby could sense my thoughts,
and was punishing me for it.

“Fawn? You ok, what’s wrong,” Sung Hoon asked as he walked in, and finding me on my
knees. Just looking at his sincere face made me shiver. Oi, Sung Hoon, so many things I
want to tell you. I wish I could just tell you everything. Help you escape tonight, before
Redriech comes to get us.

“No. I’m fine. It’s just that your baby is bitching at me for not feeding him, yet.”

“Hm,” he smiled. Then, without warning, his smile quickly faded. Sung Hoon grabbed my
arm and lead me to his bedroom. I became frightened something was up, something that
might ruin Redriech’s raid.

“Sung Hoon what are you doing,” I asked as he locked the door. My face was whitened
by fear that he might be drunk.

“Fawn,” he whispered. “Listen, I’ve asked my friend, Ji Won, to get Chai’s wife and baby
outta here tonight. When we get to the river, stay close to me. Ji Won’s a commanding
officer of the CIA in Thailand, so there might be Germans following us around…”

“WHAT?! But I thought… didn’t Chai say that you were the commanding officer,” I cut
him before he could finish telling me the plan.

“What,” he asked, confusion written all over his face.

“The letter. Didn’t Chai say that you were the…..”

“No,” he answered before I could finish. “I’m the guy who sells the CIA guns. Ji Won is
the guy who works for me. He gets me the connections in the CIA. That’s why Chai told
those fucken bastards that I was the commanding officer. I don’t have diddley on the CIA
stuff, Ji Won does.” Then he went on telling me the plan., but I didn’t hear a word.

I couldn’t hear anything. My mind was overwhelmed with confusion, and panic. ALL
FUCKEN SHIT IT WAS JI WON?! The room seemed to be spinning like crazy. It
seemed like my heart was pounding faster and faster, until I lost my balance fell to my
knees. Luckily, Sung Hoon caught me before I could hit the floor.

“FAWN, are you all right?”

“Ya, I just…. I just…. Sung Hoon, I’m not what you think I am,” I need to tell him the
truth. This would be his only chance to escape Redriech. I couldn’t let Redriech arrest and torture him. He knew NOTHING about the CIA. How could I have been so STOOPID?!
Of course Sung Hoon wasn’t a CIA agent, he was such a dunce! Worst of all, he was a
dunce who loved me. But, there was no time for that, I had to get him out tonight. This is
his only chance to escape, I have to tell him everything. Tell him to leave me, and go with
Chai’s family to Singapore– escape Redriech.

“Fawn,” Sung Hoon didn’t seem to want to listen to me. “Listen, whatever you did, I
don’t care! We HAVE to get Chai’s family outta here with Ji Won. He’s leaving on the
boat TONIGHT! And I want YOU to leave with them…….”

“NO!” I shouted in protest as I released myself from his grasp. If anyone was to stay
behind, it would be me. “Sung Hoon, listen to me. YOU have to leave with Ji Won. The
Germans are gonna…….”

“Fawn, I don’t’ wanna hear it! I don’t care what the hell Germans want from me or Ji
Won,” he shouted, cutting me before I could tell him Redriech was only minutes away.

“Fawn, listen. LISTEN!” Sung Hoon grabbed my shoulders firmly, getting my full

“Fawn, I love you. If you stay here, you’ll die with me. I know you don’t love me. But, I
am BEGGING you to at least love my baby. I know you don’t want it because it’s mine,
but that’s all I ask of you. I already packed your things, so don’t.”

“You planned this, didn’t you?!” I shouted angrily.

“Yes! Months ago!”

I looked at him in shock. MONTHS? How did he know? What ELSE did he already
know? I had never seen him act like this before. He was so focused, and determined to get me out. He was acting like….. like… a commanding officer. I couldn’t speak, all I could do was look at him– confusion beaming from my eyes.

Sung Hoon didn’t wait for me to protest again. He opened the door, and rushed to get my
things from my room. He came out with a suit case. He and Ji Won had already prepared
other things, in trunks, on the boat. This night, Thailand was to announce it had signed a
treaty with Japan as well as declare war on the U.S. An action putting American Spies like
Ji Won, an officer, in danger . Sung Hoon would stay on to continue the smuggling of
weapons into the mountains, or so he thought.

I had to find a way to make him leave before Redriech got him. So I decided I would
knock him out at the docks, and put him on the boat when the time came to board. I,
would have to stay behind. After all, I wasn’t his wife, I was Redriech’s wife.
Not a day goes by that I remind myself that I am not Mrs. Kang Soi Fawn; I am Frau
Yeon In Von Borge. Sorry, Redriech, but this mission was mistake, and I can’t let you
hurt Sung Hoon for having a back up plan just in case one of his associates got caught.
Sung Hoon had been willing to take the heat, to save his friends, his business, and the CIA by sacrificing himself. How, then could I let him down?
“Sung Hoon, you made it. Thank God.” Ji Won was worried that we’d had been captured.
Chai’s wife and baby were already on the boat waiting for me.

“Come on Fawn,” Ji Won said, extending his hand to me. I realized this was it, my one
chance to save Sung Hoon. There’s no turning back now. My heart ached to see him go.
More than anything, at that moment, I wanted to go with him, but I knew I couldn’t. This
was his escape, not mine. I knew that he had packed valuable gold and jewels somewhere in the trunks, so he’d be all right. Besides, he had bank accounts all over the world.

“All right”, I said to myself. “This is it.” I prepared myself to knock him unconscious,
believing Ji Won would have to take him as I ran off.

“HI YA!” Sung Hoon had been looking at Ji Won, so I quickly threw him over my
shoulder, and knocked him out with a single blow.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING,” Ji Won shouted. He rushed to Sung Hoon, who was laying
on the foot of the stairs toward the ship.

“You haven’t got any time,” I explained to Ji Won. “The Germans are out to get Sung
Hoon, tonight. We didn’t know that you were the real guy we were after. Get Sung Hoon
and Chai’s family outta here before it’s too late.”

“We? Your…”

“Yes; Ji Won, I’M your enemy. Now get Sung Hoon on the FREAKIN BOAT!” With that
Ji Won obeyed and put Sung Hoon’s arm around his shoulders.


“Omigod, it’s Redriech. THEY’RE HERE! HURRY, JI WON!” I pushed him onto the
stairs in a frantic attempt to get them on the ship, but it was too late. The agents grabbed
Sung Hoon’s back and tackled Ji Won. I couldn’t stop them, my swollen belly was too
much weight for me to bust my Tae Kwan Do moves. Desperately, I tried to get the
agents off of Ji Won. I wasn’t careful enough; and without warning, an agent pushed me
back, causing me to land on my side with a big thump. But I didn’t have time to realize
how painful the fall was. I had to save Ji Won, he was the only one who could help Chai’s
family escape. He had already sacrificed so much for Sung Hoon and me.

Although I couldn’t kick the agents, I still could knock them out with my fists. Ji Won
was about to receive a blow from an agent, when I quickly WHACKED the agent’s neck
with my hand– instantly knocking him out. That was good enough for Ji Won. He
struggled his way free, and was about grab for Sung Hoon, when one of the Thai
American agents on the ship rushed to pull his commanding officer American agent tightly held on , and dragged Ji Won onto the boat, just as the engine started and the boat sped off.


Chapter 7
“Good work Agent Von Borge,” Redriech patted me on the back, as he and the other
agents carried Sung Hoon off to our underground headquarters. “These are those little
words that I had suffered all this time for?” I asked myself. Those five words that should
have filled my heart with utter joy and immense pride. Five little words, that now only
meant betraying Sung Hoon. He had not boarded the boat, as planned. Ji Won had been
forced to leave without him, and that only meant death for Sung Hoon.

Death. The word caused my blood to turn cold. My heart began to pound faster and
louder with every breath. How far could I let this go on? Sung Hoon is the father of my
child, but Redriech is my life. Without Redriech, I have no meaning. He is everything to
me. SO WHY THE HELL am I worried about Sung Hoon?! He’s nothing to me. A
scapegoat in our mission for the greater good of Germany. All my life I wanted to belong
to this country, to make Redriech a part of history. These were my goals in life, I didn’t
need anything or anyone else. Hadn’t I suffered enough to get Redriech, to just all of
sudden leave him for Sung Hoon? Leave for Sung Hoon?! PU HA! HELL NO! Why in
the hell did I EVEN ask myself that?! I didn’t get disowned by my parents, have other
Germans spit at Redriech, lose my Korean citizenship, for nothing. Everything I have
ever done is for Redriech; even getting pregnant with Sung Hoon’s baby. That was a
mishap from the mission, but I am willing to suffer it all for Redriech, because he’s
suffered the same, and for what……… for me. I love him. Yes, I love Redriech. So why am
I here in the car WITH REDRIECH, and worried like crazy about Sung Hoon?
“Sir the other car is going wild,” Commander Redkoff reported from the front seat.

“What?” Redriech and I both turned our heads to look at the car tailgating us. Sung Hoon
must have gained consciousness, and realized the Germans had captured him. My heart
beat fast with fear and guilt.

The car looked as if it would topple on its side. Sung Hoon and the driver, Commander
Frederick, were struggling for the wheel. Turning the car left then right, smashing into
peddler carts along the sidewalks. Our driver pulled to the side, seeing that the car behind us was accelerating up to our car way too close for comfort. The car sped right past us, leaving a cloud of steam from the balding tires. Finally, Sung Hoon knocked Commander Frederick out with a hard blow to his head. The car tilted and landed on it’s left side. Sparks furiously flew everywhere as the car kept on sliding down the street. Finally, it slid to the VERY edge of the river, and almost tipped off into the river. There was a squeak with every little inch that the car was tipping off the edge, it looked like a really scary see-saw. Luckily the back was too heavy for the front and the see-sawing finally ended– must have been all the ammunition in the trunk.

After the car finally stopped, we rushed to save the other agents and seize Sung Hoon,
before he could escape. Even though I was eight months pregnant, I, somehow, reached
Sung Hoon before anyone else.

“Sung Hoon?! Sung Hoon…..” I tried desperately to find him under the heap of agents.
Finally I found him crumpled up in the corner of the car. Thank god he was still breathing, but his arms and legs were covered in blood. Using every bit of strength in me, I pulled him out and held his head up close to me so he could breathe properly. He was still unconscious, my only concern was that he was alive.

“Yeon In, come on…. before the car blows up,” Redriech commanded. I didn’t have time
to think about what the situation must have looked like, all I cared about was getting Sung Hoon out of the area. Redriech helped me up and we walked towards the bridge. Luckily, the car didn’t blow up, so our presence didn’t cause much of a scene. Everyone was at the other end of the river, in the city. We had rushed into the forest, we’d have to walk to the head quarters now, or so I thought.

Redriech, it would seem was restless. He knew that the ship which had sailed off was
probably on it’s way to Singapore; and would more than likely reestablish connections to
the US through Malaysia; making our entire mission an absolute failure. Redriech was
reasonably upset by this defeat. Sung Hoon had gained consciousness now, but was still
too weak to walk on his own. So he leaned on me, as we walked on to headquarters. All
the while, I couldn’t face him.

The only reason he was caught was because of me. If I had never accepted this STUPID
mission, he would have been tailed and taken care of earlier. Now, not only was his
business over, all his possessions forfeit, but his life was in danger. And I was to blame for all of it! Was it betrayal, though? I married Redriech first, he was my first love, my first kiss, my true husband under the eyes of God. I know now, there’s hell to pay for my sins, and I’m that in this war I am losing party to this war.

Redriech suddenly grabbed Sung Hoon’s arm and thrust him against the trees.

“Sung Hoon!” I rushed to help him up, but Redriech caught me before I could reach him.
“Redriech, you don’t understand…..”

“Yeon In, stay back,” he commanded. I wanted to obey, it was my duty to obey my
commanding officer, but my legs wouldn’t budge. Blood flooded my heart, and it began to beat loudly. I was so scared that he would kill Sung Hoon right there. My mouth wouldn’t open to say yes, or no– I just stood there telling Redriech, “No,” with my eyes.

“That’s an ORDER Agent Von Borge!” With that, I backed away in fear and heartache.
Redriech kicked Sung Hoon’s side causing him to spit blood into Redriech’s face.

“UGH!” Redriech moved back and wiped his face. Then his face darkened with hate.

“Well, Mr. Kang, you’ve just cost me my ENTIRE mission…..”

“Good,” Sung Hoon muttered under his smirk. That only angered Redriech who swung
and punched Sung Hoon’s face. At that I leaped to resucue Sung Hoon. He was so
helpless, how could Redriech bully him like this? He isn’t even the one who caused
Redriech’s defeat. Sung Hoon was just the voluntary scapegoat, the guy to take the fall
for the CIA. Who told Redriech to be so stupid as to believe Chai?

“Stop,” I shouted as I put my arms around Sung Hoon, shielding him from Redriech’s
wrath. I was facing Redriech, as I held Sung Hoon tightly. “He’s not the one we want.
He’s not the commander…….”

“Yeon In get out of the way!”

“NO! I can’t let you hurt him, he’s not…..” I was trying to explain everything. Give him Ji
Won’s name, the location of the rebels, but he just wouldn’t let me talk.

“So, now your protecting HIM?!” Redriech shouted in frustration. “O, I see. You can’t
bare to see your LOVER in pain,” he asked in a low, mocking tone of voice.

“That’s not it…… He’s not……..”

“Your supposed to be MY WIFE? HA! Look at you! No wonder you wanted to go on
this mission so bad, you cheating slut. I thought I could depend on you, trust you to do
the job right. All you do is save his agents, and destroy my mission. Did you really think
you could play me?! Huh?! Well?!” Redriech asked, throwing his arms in the air.

His words sent my head spinning. All my efforts, all my suffering for HIM! And this is
how it ends? I couldn’t believe it. I CHEATED ON HIM? Suddenly fulfilling a mission
makes me a SLUT? My heart bled tears thicker than blood. I, who had sacrificed even
myself for HIS sake, was now in the wrong. All this time, he was lying to me, telling me
that he didn’t care about my being pregnant. That the war was not ours, that our love
would never be cut by ANYTHING. Liar. You fucken liar.

“Redriech, I will not let you harm him, he’s innocent……” I said in a low voice, contempt
for him started to fill my mind.

“Innocent? Is that your excuse, you adulterous whore? How many innocent men have you seduced and killed for information. You, the supposedly top German agent, is telling me that I should spare your lover’s life because he’s so stupid and blind that he doesn’t know SHIT about the CIA? ARE YOU BLIND? You, his wife, of all people should have
KNOWN that he was SELLING weapons to the CIA. Did you really think that he is a
millionaire because he raises the best roses in the world? Come on Yeon In. How blind can you be? Is this the best product of the Royal University of Berlin,” Redriech reorted
mockingly, as he turned to his comrades who all laughed.

My face darkened with hate and contempt for all the monsters I saw before me. And now, I saw them for who they where. These people, for whom I had held in so high esteem, were nothing more than what I had run away from. They were all narrow-minded, self- righteous SOBs, who preyed off others, claiming that it was for the cause of the good, but it wasn’t true. They only filled their pockets with the blood money of others. They believed in only one cause, themselves. Oh sure they were cultured and highly educated, but that had done nothing to make them respectable human beings. At that moment, I discovered what kind of man I had married, merciless.

All my memories of our love was nothing more than my own fabrication of the truth. All
his words from that moment to the day we first met, suddenly became a solved puzzle. I
was nothing more than a trophy, an exotic fish he had captured. All the suffering we went through was nothing more than a challenge he could brag about with his friends. And his affection and loving little ways, nothing but games, tricks he could brag about to his friends; how his smooth ways could keep me forever in check . All these revelations only made my heart harden with hate towards the man I once believed I loved. I know now that no one has EVER loved me as much as Sung Hoon. To him, I wasn’t a trophy he had bought at the local brothel, I was his wife. It was gonna be a cold day in hell, before I let Redriech touch a hair on Sung Hoon’s head. I didn’t budge. I didn’t speak. I stood firmly in my place, defying Redriech.

“Yeon In, get out of the way. He IS our man. Don’t be blinded by your feelings for him. I
know that you love Germany too much to betray her for America.” Redriech, being the sly ass that he was, knew me inside out. But, he DIDN’T know that Sung Hoon wasn’t our
man. Redriech didn’t realize that Ji Won was the man we’d been after ALL this time. But,
Redriech wouldn’t listen. No, I’m not gonna betray Sung Hoon this time. Maybe I can’t
take back all the wrong things I have done to you, Sung Hoon, but this time I know who I
love, you. And, never again will I betray you.

“Yeon In, I’m am asking you to get out of the way, husband to wife. I don’t want to have
to detain you for disobeying a direct order…..”

“Then do it! I’m not your wife. If all I am to you is a cheating whore, then our marriage
never existed.” I shouted back in defiance. Redriech seemed surprised. I NEVER raised
my voice to him before. I never told him “no” or denied him anything, even forgiveness.
My words seemed to have struck his heart because his expression wasn’t one of irritation, but more of hurt.

“Frau Von Borge, please, Sung Hoon is far from innocent,” Commander Redkoff tried to

“How do you know,” I asked bitterly. “Have you slept in his bed, ate of his food, lived in
his house? You’re right about one thing Redriech, as HIS wife, I have learned a lot about
his activities. Yes, he is the middle man for guns to the rebels, but to believe him to be the
commanding officer of the CIA is laughable!”

“Hey,” Sung Hoon moaned weakly, having been insulted.

“Sorry,” I apologized stiffly. He was so badly beaten and tired, he had been leaning against at tree.

“Yeon In, I will have no more of this, get out of the way so that we can detain the
prisoner and interrogate him for information. I don’t care who he is anymore, all I know is that he has information, and that’s what we here to do, get information at all costs,”
Redriech said, as if I had no sense of duty. But I didn’t budge. I was surrounded by the
agents now, with no hope for escape. I couldn’t do anything, but stand there, ready to
protect us both. I wasn’t asking them to not ask, just not beat him to death. But even
that, it would seem, was not acceptable. Redriech grabbed my arm, trying to pry me from
my hold on Sung Hoon. The other men tried to do the same, but I wouldn’t let go of my
hold. Finally, Heir Stragoff pulled me away from Sung Hoon and swung me to the ground.

“YOU FOOL! BE CAREFUL!” Redriech shouted at Stragoff angrily, then gave him a
black eye for having swung me. Redriech rushed to my side and held me up. Making sure
nothing was wrong with the baby.

Sung Hoon struggled against the other agents in vain– he was still too weak from the car
crash to fight. I cried out to them, ordering them to stop, but they wouldn’t listen. Blow
after blow, they punched and kicked him until he had ceased to struggle, or move. I
wanted get up and rush to save him, but I couldn’t move, it was too painful. My stomach
suddenly blazed with unimaginable pain, and my eyes shot open with fear. My baby.

Chapter 8 (Final)
The pain from my abdomen was unbearable. It was as if someone had driven a steel toe
boot into my back, and left it there to dangle. My once soft, swollen belly was now as hard as stone. I wanted to move, hold the place that hurt, but it was so painful that I couldn’t even move my arms. The worst feeling, however; did not come from my back but from in between my legs. I could feel a warm liquid rushing down my legs. In my mind, I was praying that it only be water and not blood. But when I looked at my hand to see what color the liquid was, to my horror, it was blood.

“Sung Hoon,” I cried out. Our baby. Dear Lord, please don’t take my baby without me, I
prayed silently. How unfair heaven was to have brought our family together for only such a short time. My true love, would not only lose his life, but now his only child as well. God, I asked myself, how can you be so cruel?! My tears turned to blood as I cried and moaned in pain.

“Yeon In,” I heard Redriech call my name. He had laid my head on his lap as he held my
hand. His tears dropped from his face and feel onto mine. “Yeon In. God forgive me, I’m
so sorry…..So sorry.” He kept repeating his regret as he held my blood stained hand.
I was still angry at him, but he was so sincere, and I didn’t have the strength to push him
aside, anyways; so I let him hold me. I had never seen him cry so hard, except for the day
that he had found me beaten and bruised from my father’s whip. And I knew he would
never cry unless his heart could no longer hide the pain that raged on inside of him. My
love for him had died when he had hurt me with his words of contempt and hate for me. I felt so used, so betrayed. I had suffered all this for him and him alone, only to have him
dismiss my devotion as an act of adultery. My heart filled with hate and love for this man, my husband, Redriech.
The last thing I could remember was Sung Hoon’s face covered in blood, as I awoke to
find myself in a hospital bed. Fear raced through my head, where was I and what had
happened to my Sung Hoon?

“Yeon In,” Redriech called from the door way. I didn’t want to look at him. Because of
him, I lost everything dear to me- Sung Hoon…. my baby. With that thought, my heart
filled with great loss and I began to cry. “Yeon In,” he whispered again as I turned my
head away from him.

“Honey, I’m sorry. I never mean to say those words. It’s just that…. I hate him, if I had
never let you on this mission, you’d have my son and not his.”

“Son,” I turned to him. “it was a boy?” Why did it have to be a son? A son to carry Sung
Hoon’s legacy, his last name.

“Yes, Sung Hoon’s a very lucky man to have such a beautiful son, as beautiful as his

“What do you mean,” I asked as my heart began to pound with excitement. Did he mean
Sung Hoon was alive? I hoped with all my heart he had, somehow, miraculously escaped
Redriech’s claws.

Redriech looked away. “Yes, Yeon In, your husband lives. But, not for long. I’ve been
ordered to execute him.”

“Sung Hoon’s alive,” I whispered with a smile. He’s alive to see his son. Oh, my Sung
Hoon…. this will be our last kiss goodnight. I won’t let you down this time, I’ll love you
forever. My heart raced with joy as I resolved to commit suicide next to him in prison,
with our son.

“Redriech let me see him one more time, at least let me show him our son.” I was so
happy, I didn’t notice how my joy tormented Redriech so. His eyes filled with tears as he
tried several times to utter something to me.

“Yeon Inie ah,” he said finally.

“It’s Soi Fawn,” I corrected him abruptly. But he only looked at the floor.

“Yeon Inie ah, You really love him don’t you?”

“Why wouldn’t I love him? You said so yourself,” I darted at him. My words sent a
piercing harpoon through his heart that caused him to shudder.

“Yeon In, you’re not going to forgive me are you?”

“What do you think,” I asked dryly. I looked away from his tear stained face.

“So all my suffering was for nothing then? All the beatings from your father, all the
discrimination I suffered for you…..”

“You’ve suffered,” I asked in disbelief. “So now YOU’RE the one who’s suffered great
animosities for ME?! What the HELL do you know about SUFFERING?!” My hands
began to shake with hate for him. How could he twist this all around, had he NO
CONSCIENCE or any kind?

“I who have suffered more than ANY INTELLIGENT WOMAN IN HER RIGHT MIND
would have suffered for who? No, not for herself but for her SO-CALLED husband. A
self righteous bastard…. I was only a pawn in your quest for success, wasn’t’ I?!”

“What are you talking about? I LOVE YOU! I did all this for you! You wanted to go on
this mission, you….” Redriech tried to speak, but I cut him off before he could point his
finger at me anymore.

“Love?! PUHA! LOVE? If you call love using me for ur own purpose and then blame me
for suffering for your future as a general, love then I take it back!”

“Yeon In, I never wanted to be a general, and you know that. I know I was wrong to have
said all those things the other night, but I was… I was jealous ok?!” He got up from the
side of the bed, and turned away from me. “We’ve never argued before. You’ve changed
so much. You’re not the sweet and innocent girl I love.”

you, everything I have ever done was for you and you alone! How can you put this all on
me? I was so blind not to see that you didn’t give a rat’s ass about me,” I shouted through
my burning tears. He just couldn’t see it, all that I had done for him. All my suffering for
him. He just couldn’t see it. I was sick of arguing with him, he was so blind. “I don’t want
to argue with you anymore, just let me take my son to see Sung Hoon.”

“Yeon In,” suddenly he rushed to my bedside and grabbed my hand. “I don’t want to lose
you now or ever. I don’t care if you love him, or if he is the father or ur baby. I married
you because I love you, not because I could use you for whatever u think it is I’m using u
for. This mission was a mistake, one that drove me crazy to think about u with HIM. But
don’t you see that? I’m crazy because of you.” He held onto my hand tightly as his tears
dropped onto my fingers.

“Liar,” I said in a low, and cold voice. My heart had died that night he had showed me his
true self. It was too late, nothing he said or did would ever make me go back to him. Then
it hit me, why would Sung Hoon forgive me? If I can’t forgive Redriech, what makes me
so sure Sung Hoon would ever forgive me? Suddenly my heart began to despair and I
grabbed it as pain pierced through my chest.

“Yeon In?!”

“I’m fine. Just…. just go away, Redriech. I hate you.”

“Fine, I know you only want to see HIM. But just remember that when he calls you names worse than me, and he tells you he hates you for your lies; I’ll be there to make sure he understands it’s all my fault. I know you love him, just promise me you won’t kill yourself when you get to see him,” he pleaded on his knees. You’ve lied to me so many times, I thought to myself. Why shouldn’t I lie to him now? So I nodded in agreement, even though my plans were to disobey him.

“No, Yeon In, I’m serious. If he really loved you, he’d forgive you.” Damn you Redriech,
I shouted in my head. He’s right though– if I really loved him, I would forgive him, too.

“But what if it just hurts too much,” I asked sincerely.

“When you really love someone, you don’t see anything but their virtues. I know that
now. Love hurts, no,” he asked me.

“Yes, very much so. ”
Before Redriech opened the door, he warned me of my time limit. There was no way he’d
let me kill myself. And I knew he was right. Sung Hoon’s son needed to live out his life
for his father. And I needed to live out my love and punishment for Sung Hoon.

The newborn baby was all bundled up in blue sheets. I just hope that he loves you as much as I do, I said to him in silence. I began to fear that Sung Hoon would kill me the moment he laid eyes on me. Why wouldn’t he kill me? I would have. But everything was too late, just like me, always too late to live, to love. Now was my last chance to tell him just how much I loved him, my true love, Sung Hoon.

The door creaked open, and I began to take deeper breaths. My knees trembled with fear, and anticipation.

“Fawn!” Sung Hoon grabbed me and hugged me tightly. He could always melt my fears
away so easily. But, I had not anticipated his total acceptance of me. He did TRULY love
me, no matter what I did.

“Sung Hoon,” I fell to my knees overwhelmed with regret and sorrow. “I’m so sorry. I…
I….. just…..”

“Sh. Don’t let the tears fall anymore. Let this be the last time we cry, ok,” he said as he
helped me up. Then he realized there was something strange in my arms. “AH! Is it….. my

“Our baby, Sung Hoon,” I corrected him smiling. “Our baby.”

“You mean, you don’t mind that it’s mine and not your real husband’s baby?”

“Sung Hoon, you are my real husband,” I replied.

“No,” he said looking away. “You love him, I know you do. I could see it in your eyes all
those times you let me get close to you. I can never take his place. And now, it would
seem that this play we live has come to a happy ending. You can go back to being…….”

“Sung Hoon, please don’t,” I pressed my finger against his lips. “I love you. Yes, I’ll
always love Redriech, but, you see, he’s my first love. How do you forget that? Have you
forgotten your first love? And don’t lie and say it’s me.”

“I guess you’re right,” he chuckled. I leaned against his shoulder as he held our son.

“Well, what did you name him?”

“Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about a name. I didn’t even prepare one!” I looked at him in

“Why dont’ we call him Hee Mahng (Hope) then? He’s my hope for a world without hate.
Some paradise that doesn’t make enemies out of lovers.” Sung Hoon looked at me then he looked at his son and watched a tear fall onto Hee Mahng’s face. My heart shattered like broken glass. If I had never gone on this mission, he wouldn’t be here. How could he love me?

“Sung Hoon,” suddenly an odd thought occurred to me. “What did you mean when you
said that you had known about Redriech’s plans to raid your house months before hand?”

“O that,” he began as he wiped away the tears. “Well remember when Chai left me that
note? ~ I shook my head yes~ Well at the end it said, ASAP meaning A Surprise Attack
Planned– not as soon as possible. because he would have said get out OTD- On The
Double. We used to make up abbreviations when we were small. Chai was half brother,
but my father never married his mother. Instead he raped my mother, and married her for money. She went crazy and killed herself. I ran away when I was 16 and then I found Chai by luck and bought his sister out slavery. After that he pledged to be my servant. Then there was Eun Ji Won. Ji Won had run into a lot of trouble when I first met him, he was in great debt to some warlords in China before the war. We used the Red Sky Room to meet up with the rebels and sell them weapons. The hookers, you see, were the rebels spies. Ji Won was trying to buy his girlfriend back from slave traders, that’s why he was in debt, and she was there at the Red Sky Room. So when I helped pay for her freedom, in full, he said he owed me his life. I told him my dislike for hookers, my father always had some laying about the house, so Ji Won protected me from the others who would try to bed me. I guess he was too busy that night that we…. well you know….. we….. you know…..”

“Sung Hoon, don’t you hate me? I was… no, I AM the German spy that destroyed your
life,” I looked longingly into his eyes. I had to know why, why did he love me still. “Why
don’t you lash out at me with anger?”

“Fawn… I always knew it was you.” .

“How….” utterly shocked and surprised by his answer, I began to cry even harder than

“When Chai asked me to send his wife to Singapore. Chai doesn’t have a wife. That was
his sister, she was pregnant from one of her clients….”

“That’s why you said you didn’t care what my past or my future was, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” he replied holding my hand as well as the baby. “I loved you from the day you
walked into my house. I saw you standing there, as if in a dream. You looked like you
belonged in a missing piece of the painting. I knew you would never love me, how could
you, a man who had bought you out of duty. Because he totally understood the duties of
honor and responsibility. Our marriage has always been, to me, the best thing to have ever happened to me. I loved you because you made me happy. All I had to do was think about you and I would smile for hours. How could I be angry with you? When I realized it was you the Germans had sent, I could do nothing but cry at night. How do you not forgive the only good thing in your sad life?”

“Yeon In? Time’s up,” Redriech called from behind the door’s opening. I knew He didn’t
want to look into the prison cell to see me cry for Sung Hoon.

“Fawn, listen to me,” Sung Hoon became excited all of sudden and he held onto my hand.

“Just a minute, Redriech, don’t worry, I won’t do anything stupid,” I reassured Redriech
as I listened to what would be Sung Hoon’s last words to me.

“A while back I wrote to my buddies, who helps get me the guns, pirates known as the
VierKies (4kies). They’ll be waiting for you on the docks tomorrow at 9 am. Don’t
worry, they’re like brothers to me so they’ll take care of you. The leader is Lee Jae Jin, he
and the others – Go Ji Yong, Kim Jae Duc, and Jang Su Won- are all good guys. Promise
me you’ll take Hee Mahng and leave this place for good….”

“NO! I WON’T LEAVE YOU! Not when I FINALLY realize how much I love you. I
can’t go on without you!” I couldn’t hold it any longer. My emotions got the better of me
and I fell to my knees. I couldn’t bare to let him go. I held onto his leg and cried my heart
out. I couldn’t leave knowing that he would be executed because of me.

“Yeon In,” surprised that he called me by my real name I looked into his eyes. “It was fate
that brought us together, not some stupid mistake mission. You are my soul mate, I knew
it the first time I saw your face, because that was the last I saw of my heart.”

“Why, Sung Hoon?! Why force me away when I can’t go on without you?”

“Because I won’t be here for long, at least this way I can keep you forever, in another
place other than in my heart.” At those words a tear fell from my eyes and dropped into
his hands. I laid my last kiss on his lips and then his hands, where my tear had fallen so that he could keep my kiss in his heart and in his hands.
Although it was 9 in the morning, the sun had run away, or so it would seem. I had
decided to leave Redriech and follow Sung Hoon’s wishes. I didn’t leave because I hated
Redriech, but because my whole heart and soul was Sung Hoon’s from the first moment
we met. I have always devoted myself to the one I loved, this time, the one I love devoted
himself to me.

As the boat pulled away into the horizon, I looked at Bangkok for the last time ever. This
had been my dreamland, and Sung Hoon, my dream lover. As I looked on a tear dropped
from my eyes and fell onto my Hee Mahng. Suddenly, Hee Mahng awoke and began to
cry. I could hear a shot ring from the mountains, and I knew Sung Hoon was watching
over our boat.

I could see Sung Hoon’s face in the red sky, and I whispered to him, “Sung Hoon, I’ll
keep you forever, too.”


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