- a JyongWon (Jiyong x Jiwon) short story
I know whats best for you son.
Really? If you know, why are you doing this to me. Whats best for me? Tell me! This? Marrying someone I dont even know? Such a good parent you are dad. He stroll down the path of his lovers house at a leisurely pace. Each time he relishes the feel of it. That thing, that longing, the feel of his own smile as he got closer to the house, knowing whenever he opens the door, his lover will be there. Smiling, waiting for him eagerly, trying not to loose his patient.
Hyung Youve come.
He stood there, suddenly feeling numb. The sweetness of his lovers voice conquering his body, giving him the chills. You. Youre just too beautiful for me. Do I worth it? Do I worth the love youre giving me? Maybe I was. But not again. You do know dont you? Youre everything for me. You worth every single liquid I spilled. Tears, blood, everything, Ill do anything for you. If only youll let me.
Hyung, want some?
The hand that suddenly appears before him, grabbing his attention, offering him the strawberries that pile neatly in the bowl. He look up to see the face he love. More beautiful than anything. Nothing can describe his lovers charm for him. Even if you spend the rest of your life searching the right word in the Webster. No, hes just too perfect for words, to fair for the earth, too innocent too be alive. I know what I feel for you. Clearer than the best crystal. You know that love means nothing when you didnt need that person. Needing maybe has a bigger meaning than love. When you love someone, the feeling of needs will grow naturally. That need is what makes love survive. I love you, thats why I wanna live with you, forever together, forever needing each other, forever staring at your delicate smile, your absent-minded eyes, forever knowing youre thinking of me.
You didnt hear a single thing Ive said dont you?
His lovers pouting lips makes him smile. Yes, he didnt heard a single thing his lovers just blab. But he listens to his lovers heart. Something thats more important than any words. Something, the hidden meaning off all his lovers words. It always there. It never leave.
Is it matter?
It brought him life to see his lover smile.
No, hyung. I know youre to lost inside me.
That cute smile. Always pops out everytime youre trying to make me blush, and it always works. I cant stand it anymore. Its no use to show me your happy face, the face I never even once seen sad before. But now, I want you to be sad. To cry for me with me.
Lets die together.
His lovers face seems quite surprise. But there are some hints that telling him, his lover knew, sooner or later, that words will comes out from his mouth. Everything that had happened, and that will happen. Maybe, for them, maybe. Its the best way to be forever.
He look at his lovers eyes. Full of hope, wishing, pleading, and maybe demanding. He waits. If only his lover would nod.
Yes, hyung. Ill die for you. If it makes you happy. If it will chase all your problems away. Tomorrow, will be our forevers first day.
He sneak into his fathers library that night. Taking two guns he knew his father always kept inside his drawer. Tomorrow his lover said.
Yes, tomorrow. Is our forevers first day.
He stand in front off his lovers house. This is it. For all his life, for all his sake. Today, they will decide it together. He walk into the warm room. The warmth his lover always gave him. Today
Hyung Youve come.
The same words. Everyday. But its different today. He sense something else in the way his lover said those words. Coz for the first time since theyre together, theres sadness in his lovers voice.
Im always ready for you always forever until the end of whenever.
He seated his lover onto the couch, giving themselves one last embrace, one last pleasure, before they start their new beginning.
I love you.
He handed one of the guns to his lover. His lover took it and smile fairly to him. So innocent, too innocent for this world. Almost as if the world is not worth to be lived by him. The kissed again, for the last time as they point the gun to each others heart. The heart. A shot in the heart. Shows how much their hearts bleed. How much theyre hurt. It merely took a second. Just a second, and its over as the sound of a gunshot blasting. Covering the dreadful room
He close his eyes no its not happening. He opens his eyes, just to see the love of his life. Fall onto him. His head lying lifeless, buried deep in his chest. Just a second, and he finally realize what just happened.
No His voice dampened by his shockness, Why no youre not doing this to me. No
He fell quiet when something drops to the grown, brushing his feet softly, as if telling him to look at it. He look down, still didnt let his lover go. A piece of paper lay peacefully beside his feet. Fell from his lovers lifeless hand. Trembling with fear. With questions, he pick the paper up and open it carefully, afraid of it, as if his life is depend on it. But yet, his life is depend on it
So I guess Im dead right?! Please dont cry, even though I really want to see you cry. Call me mean, but I really want to. So I can hold you deeper into me. But even if you cry now, I cant ever hold you again. Please forgive your cruel hyung for leaving like this.
You know I love you right? I know you do. Thats why I have to go. I cant marry her JiYong. I dont love her. Hell, I dont even know who she is. Everything went wrong for us JiYong. My father found out about us and he wants me to be as far from you as possible. What else he could do but to get me married? Im sorry JiYong. But Im leaving you.
Maybe you feel that Im such a selfish scumbag right?! Maybe youre right. I cant let you die JiYong. Yesterday, when I ask you do die with me, you said yes, that youll die for me if itll get all my troubles away. Its enough for me JiYong. To know that you love me like that. But I cant let you die. I love you too much to let you die. I wanna die, and I realize that I cant drag you with me. My gun is empty, and theres only one bullet in yours. Dont think to kill yourself JiYong. Do you know eventhough you kill yourself we still wont be together. Well go to a different place. We wont meet each other. Coz we died in a different way. I dont want that to happen JiYong. This is the only way for us to be together. Me, beside you always, and you, living your happy life. You said that today will be our forevers first day. And so let it be.
I love you! And thats all that matter now. Live believing in it. Find another one like me. Who can love you entirely, completely, and who wont leave you. Thats when Ill leave you.
But now let this be our forevers first day!